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8/11/2007 8:54:28 PM
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When the destiny interferes with reality.

This is actually the first time i'm writting a story, that added to the fact that English is my second language, well.....please don't flame! If you think this sucks, then be nice. Anyway, this is just the beginning, so i'll add more when i got any free time. Ten years ago, in a remote American town, a man’s life ended. Nevertheless, this was not just any ordinary man, he had experienced hell, hes life was one of the most terrible, cruel and unforgiving that any human can ever experience, he was what some people liked to call him, a survivor. Sam Townshend was always a very calm, quiet boy, he didn’t had any friends, mostly because he didn’t want to, or he didn’t care about friends. He liked to be in his room, reading old books about death and how people handle it. This was one of the main reasons why Sam became a person with a very dark personality, he didn’t talked very much, even when someone asked him something, he would always give the shortest answer possible, we was a man of few words. At school, he had problems with all the subjects except one: Math, he was always the best of his class, and even the teachers could not understand how a 9-year-old boy could solve equations and problems that the students from high school could not. His life started to turn when he was 11. One day he was looking at the street from his room’s window, he was waiting for his parents to arrive home from a day of work, when the impossible happened, a 20-year-old guy, who was driving at an extremely high speed crashed against Sam’s parents car, killing them both. Sam watched his parents die. The next 3 months were very difficult for him, he was living with his grandparents, who he never really had a nice relation with, but after some time he adapted himself, and continued with his painful and pointless life, has he usually described it. He continued to live with his grandparents until he’s 19th anniversary. By this time he went searching for a job somewhere (he had dropped school after his parent’s death, but he helped his grandfather in an old local store, and each month he received a few dollars that he kept in he’s room, for future use). Twenty years later, he was living in a small town in the state of Indiana, he had found a lover, Lisa Garland, who was a nurse at the local hospital. Sam, now with 39 years old, was working at a local chop shop. Hes life was going well, they were both very happy with their lives, and they were planning to have a baby. But one day, he arrived home from work, and he couldn’t find Lisa anywhere, at first he thought that she had gone to the supermarket, but after a few hours he started to become worried, and he decided to go look for her. After a few minutes, he found her car on the side of a road, about nine miles off the town. The car was empty, and it had note on the driver’s seat, it said, help me, and it was written in blood. Sam looked at the forest and he started running towards it. It was starting to get dark, he needed to find Lisa as soon as possible, or he could lose himself in the dense forest. [Edited on 08.12.2007 5:50 AM PDT]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] game fan You're scary.....too scary....[/quote] o i c wut u did thar
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Sniper McGee [i]I like your style![/i] *runs away giggling*[/quote] You're scary.....too scary....
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  • [i]I like your style![/i] *runs away giggling*
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Snap017 Alright, it is an amazing story, even in the first 2 parts, but I suggest: 1) you be a bit more descriptive. During those two hours after finding the note that started the search, how did Sam feel? What did he encounter? your bound to find something lethal while looking through a forest in the Silent Hill-verse. 2) MS Word has some great checking software. Although you got your spelling right, there are some grammar errors I suggest you fix and practice utilizing. Otherwise, great work, I would love to read more.[/quote] This is the first time i writte a story, so, yeah, i need these types of comments, so that i can make this thing better. Thanks.
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  • Alright, it is an amazing story, even in the first 2 parts, but I suggest: 1) you be a bit more descriptive. During those two hours after finding the note that started the search, how did Sam feel? What did he encounter? your bound to find something lethal while looking through a forest in the Silent Hill-verse. 2) MS Word has some great checking software. Although you got your spelling right, there are some grammar errors I suggest you fix and practice utilizing. Otherwise, great work, I would love to read more.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Cockburnicus Stuff happens a little bit too quick for my liking. And there isn't much description... that said, it's nay bad for the flood. [/quote] Ok, well, at least you are honest!
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  • Stuff happens a little bit too quick for my liking. And there isn't much description... that said, it's nay bad for the flood.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Eight Oh 8 State haha nice![/quote] Thanks bro.
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  • haha nice!
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] BLIB [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] game fan [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] BLIB game fan = good writer.[/quote] Thank you, thank you.[/quote] You love it.[/quote] I do, i really do. And since this is my first story ever, and English is my secong language, i'm very happy with the results. Thank you all.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] game fan [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] BLIB game fan = good writer.[/quote] Thank you, thank you.[/quote] You love it.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] BLIB game fan = good writer.[/quote] Thank you, thank you.
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  • *posts again*
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  • game fan = good writer.
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  • *posts*
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  • Thanks, i'm trying to stick with the silent hill games, but not too much, it's not a fanfic.... I'll add more tomorrow.
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  • Nice Story man.
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  • Nice
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  • Ok, here's another part of the story. Sam kept looking for Lisa until 9 pm. After two hours of searches, it was dark, cold, and on top of that, there was a very dense fog in the forest so he decided that the best thing to do was to go get some help. With the help of his little flashlight, he always had one in his car, for emergencies, he went back to his car, and he drove as fast as he could back to the town. After one hour, he, the local police and the local fire department where back at the forest, they searched for Lisa all night… After 12 hours of searches, they founded Lisa Garland’s body. She was death. Apparently, she had felt from a small cliff and broken her neck. Sam cried for hours, there was only one thing one his mind: Suicide. He could not live his life without the only person who he ever really, truly loved. After a few hours, he went back to his house, alone. He did not even have enough strength to open his house front door. He felt to the ground, he could not stop crying, and he was determined to commit suicide, his life was pointless, nothing hold him to this world anymore. So, he got up on his feet, opened the front door, and went into his bedroom, nothing would stop him, he had to do it! He grabbed his pistol, and pointed at his head, he closed his eyes and for a moment, he saw Lisa’s face right in front of him. He quickly opened his eyes and in that same moment, the phone ringed. Something in his mind told him to pick it up, and so he did, -“Please…….help…...me………don’t leave me, Sam.” -“Lisa….? LISA!!!!!! -“Silent Hill……..save me………please.” Sam was in panic, he didn’t know what to do or to think. He then got up, rushed to his computer, and quickly goggled the name Silent Hill. It was a small town on the state of North Carolina. He grabbed his pistol, and rushed to the car. He had tons of thoughts going through his mind, but there was something in his mind that kept telling him to go. He drove four hours, always with the thought that Lisa was alive somewhere, and needed his help, that what happened in the forest wasn’t real, that it was a nightmare…..he didn’t cared about anything else….his love for her was so much, that he just refused to think…. His emotions would lead him to a place where death meets with the destiny, a place where people simply don’t come back from…. After four hours, he finally reached Silent Hill. It was snowing, and there was a very dense fog, he could barely see the road. He stopped his car. There was something wrong with that place, it was too quiet, and there was this smell in the air, a smell that he recognised. It smelled like burned flesh. He entered the town. The houses where empty, there was no one on the streets, the cars where abandoned, and there was silence in the air. Sam grabbed his pistol and started to walk very slowly down the street, he was scared of the unknown. More to be add son. Hope you enjoy.
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  • Nice story, I'd like to see some more. Edit: And by the way, as many people on this forum will know, any Praise from me is a good thing. *Finds something to flame* [Edited on 08.12.2007 5:49 AM PDT]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Cockburnicus I don't really like the writing style to be honest. I can't be any more specific than that. It's just not quite right...[/quote] It's okay, everyone has different tastes. At least you didn't flamed! Thanks.
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  • I don't really like the writing style to be honest. I can't be any more specific than that. It's just not quite right...
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  • Twas pretty good. Just some editing work, but the plot and main idea is good.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] RocketsandRoses Well I already told you I loved it, but again for the record. The story was great, and it makes you really curious as to how it will unfold. Keep writing. :-)[/quote] Thank you for your support :-) [Edited on 08.11.2007 2:05 PM PDT]
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  • Well I already told you I loved it, but again for the record. The story was great, and it makes you really curious as to how it will unfold. Keep writing. :-)
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HappyRobot [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] game fan [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Sniper McGee [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] HappyRobot This isn't a true story?!?[/quote] >.> Mebeh.[/quote] Yes, it's not real....so?[/quote] At one point, you actually had me convinced that it was indeed real.... Until I hit the cliffhanger ending.... :'([/quote] So, that means it's a good story? [Edited on 08.11.2007 1:38 PM PDT]
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