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#Halo

8/19/2008 12:28:41 AM
394

You'll never guess what just happened!!!

So I was playing Rocket Race on a bright Sunday afternoon. It was a beautiful day and my friends wanted to play basketball. I know right, what noobs. You'll never be MLG if thats what you do with your spare time. So I went into Rocket Race and closed the blinds. I was busy shooting rockets at my teammate (lolololololololololol) when the most magical thing happened. It fluttered through my headset like the aroma of fresh baked cookies from my easy bake over. I heard it and I melted. The most beautiful thing anyone could ever imagine. It was the unmistakable voice of a human female. I'll never forget those words she said "Hey you -blam!- -blam!-. Stop shooting me and get on the Mongoose." Mankind at its most beautiful. I was awestruck. A girl playing Halo. I couldn't wrap my feeble mind around this concept. A girl? A person lacking the male reproductive organ? Maybe even playing naked with her voluptious breasts out in the open? The thoughts drove me wild. I couldn't contain myself any more. I quickly apologized for my actions and sent her a friend request. We continued to play and I found out her name was Sammy. What a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. We played Rocket Race and Custom games. It was amazing. I found out that she too turned down the oppritunity to play basketball and that just excited me even more. Then the time came. My mother broke my heart by telling me I had to go to the proctologist for my monthly exam. I knew I would have to leave the love of my life. It was now or never. I let her hear what I felt in my heart. At the end I asked for her hand in marriage. She was silent for a moment and then it came. Like a icy dagger through me heart "wtf? No way" I could barely hold back the tears. I asked for a reason. She replied with "I like girls." What? Are you serious? There was no way this enchanting young woman could be a -blam!-? I asked in the nicest way I could think of "So you're a carpet muncher?" Her laugh cut through me and destroyed my ability to love. When she finally stopped laughing she broke my heart one more time with her final words. "No you moron. I'm a boy. I'm only 9." The lesson here is, don't trust anyone on the internet. I have loved and lost. It pains me every day since. Please people, don't let this happen to you.
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