I'm writing a story. There was another one I was writing, but it was suck, so I stopped writing it. This is a sample of my story, and I want you guys to give me your opinion.
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[Edited on 06.24.2010 6:28 PM PDT]
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I cringed almost every line. Soldier-combat stories are almost always boring. Just a running narration. Try to [i]craft[/i] your work to [i]achieve impact[/i]. A straight narration is boring. Boring because it just isn't exciting (or engaging). While I realise I am preaching to a wall, I feel the need to point this out: writing is hard. Not anyone can pick up a pen and scratch away, only to produce a masterpiece (or plodding on a keyboard). Fighting clutter is like fighting weeds; you're always one step behind. By do try. Edit what you have, rework sentences etc. 5/10