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8/23/2012 3:58:06 AM
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Eight months ago, at 343 Industries...

Employee 1: Guys, guys. We need to develop the armor for multiplayer. Bossman: What have ya got in mind, chum? Employee 1: I was thinking we bring back the besties, such as Rogue, Hayabusa, Commando, Scout, and others, while adding sleek new armor variants for the Mark 7 suit that look like something that would really intimidate an alien force, and have some military purpose. Employee 2: Oh, oh, but what about bubbles? Employee 1: Bubbles? Employee 2: Yeah, yeah, we take a suit of armor, and give it lots of bubbles for a visor. Amirite? Employee 1: What? Bossman: Listen chum, I'm loving your idea. I'm loving every second of it. Might I add to what chum 2 said? Employee 1: Uh, sure... Bossman: Okay, let's not bring any old armor back. Except mark 6, that can stay. Out with the old, in with the new. Now, let's create brand new sets of armor that are difficult to tell apart, are randomly thrown together without being thought through, and make them all ugly as -blam!-. Employee 2: Hot damn. That's good. Employee 1: Wait, what? Employee 2: SKINS. Bossman and Employee 1: Skins? Employee 2: Let's take what we like about Call of Duty, where you can make sexy, hideous gun skins that only a 13 year old would like, and ADD THEM TO HALO. EVEN TO ALIEN WEAPONS. Bossman: I think I just orgasmed. Employee 1: What are you guys on? This isn't Halo! These are awful ideas! Bossman: Exclusive armor should come with the six billion dollar special Xbox edition. Employee 2: It should be sleek, thought through, and intimidating. Employee 1: YES! FINALLY! Bossman: Now let's add a unicorn horn. Employee 1: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MINDS? Bossman: We're letting you go, chum. Employee 1: WHAT? WHY? Bossman: You clearly don't give a damn about this game. Your heart isn't into it. I'd say you're even trying to sabotage it. Employee 1: B-b-but? Bossman: Out. ... Moments after Employee 1 leaves... Employee 2: Hey Boss, you know what the fans would REALLY love? Bossman: What? Employee 2: Keeping the Covenant in the game. Removing Firefight, and not doing anything extraordinary with Forge. Bossman: Marry me? Employee 2: And also loadouts. Bossman: Sex. Now. THE END. [Edited on 08.22.2012 8:05 PM PDT]
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  • I have never laugh this hard [spoiler]since I saw cheetos compete with dewritos[/spoiler]
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  • 100% Accurate
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  • Edited by CaptKrunch: 1/20/2015 11:19:55 PM
    We saw people complain about sprint and how it slows down the game. I think they'll be pleased to know for Halo 6 we are cutting the base speed in half and doubling the sprint speed. We feel this will achieve the fast gameplay Halo fans have come to know and love. Edit: Holy necro.
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  • I wish halo 4 was more like halo 5 guardians. Why? Because halo 4 does nothing to build on, it just takes everything about halo reach and does a poor job of it. If done correctly I think Halo can be introduced to subtle but big changes, evolve and still remain the game we know an love.
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  • Well, thanks whoever bumped this. This was hilariously accurate.
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    1 Reply
    • [quote] Employee 2: It should be sleek, thought through, and intimidating. Employee 1: YES! FINALLY! Bossman: Now let's add a unicorn horn. [/quote] I am kill
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    • Made me lol. Nice one.
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      5 Replies
      • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] SiKK ScOpEzz I was waiting for the funny part but it never came. [/quote] I think the Bossman did.
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      • This is the most obviously butthurt complaint about armor I've ever seen. So much effort just to complain about something so meaningless.
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      • That was ... beautiful.
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      • I want to believe. Also, you forgot to mention how there are no visors on the helmets.
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      • I was waiting for the funny part but it never came.
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      • Alright. I smirked, but no laughter. Could have had a better lead-up and punchline.
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      • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] CABOOSE 7778 9.8/10. Nicely done OP.[/quote]
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      • Not gonna lie I lol'd.
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      • I just shed a tear. =\
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      • You forgot the part where they decided to use music from a [i]Transformers [/i]movie for the OST.
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      • My favorite part is, "Sex, Now!" ROFL
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      • And then Employee 1 left because he didn't like the direction that Halo 4 was going in.
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      • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] toystory2wasok [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] UgIy Usuki Wait, Mark 6 isn't returning, I thought?[/quote] Ugh, WHY did you bump this!?[/quote] I've been up since like midnight, bored, reading through every thread on the Flood.
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      • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] UgIy Usuki Wait, Mark 6 isn't returning, I thought?[/quote] Ugh, WHY did you bump this!?
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      • Wait, Mark 6 isn't returning, I thought?
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      • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Mr Reaganomics [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Gen Petitt Report and move on people [/quote] k, I reported you. [/quote] Reported for reporting. OT: Most of the armor looks average at best, with a few actually looking good and some looking absolutely horrendous. I can't wait for Halo 4, but it seems 343 slacked off some when creating the armor.
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      • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] TFU244 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] FloodForum Ruler [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] st3althsniper22 Pretty sure OP got his hands on the tape of an actual conversation. [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] TFU244 Is this comedy where you come from?[/quote][/quote] I do believe your post was more funny than my own. [/quote] [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLezXLuvNgc] Maybe so. [/url] I quoted the wrong person. /wrists [Edited on 08.22.2012 8:42 PM PDT]
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      • 0
        [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Gen Petitt Report and move on people [/quote] k, I reported you.
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      • I don't really care for the Mark VI. You know what they say, out with the old, in with the new.
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