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5/25/2012 8:00:42 AM
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'Why did the chicken cross the road?' A short story

[quote] DISCLAIMER: In english, we were given a 45 minute creative writing task for exam preparation, that somehow had to relate to issues of power and authority and include the line "it's not my responsibilty." This is my story, which I got 12/15 for. It's slightly changed because apparently I do derpy paragraphs, but it seems odd in this structure. (ignore any spelling of grammar errors, I was rushing typing this up so I can go have a shower and get warm as it's kinda cold at the moment.) Anyway, read and tell me what you think.[/quote] The chicken stood alone. The crisp June air blew softly against its feathers, silent but as cold as ice. She gazed across the road, her beady eyes darting from left to right and a quiet chirp the only sound emanating from an ageing beak. Her feet moved slightly ever so often; a vast difference to the millions of thoughts flowing through her mind. "What if?" Chances are you've heard of this chicken and the accompanying age old question of "why did the chicken cross the road?" Timelessly echoed everywhere from school halls to office buildings, it is a familiar question; yet one that few understand the meaning of. You see, dear reader, that 'the other side' you've heard so much about isn't the other side of the road, but the afterlife. This chicken wanted to die. She turned her head sharply to the left and listened to the slow rumble of a garbage truck approaching. Its wheels moved slowly crunching on loose gravel, almost hypnotic to the distracted chicken. She has the power to make her own decisions in life. To be anything from KFC to an everyday salad. But this chicken can only see the road. Only the ending and nothing in between. As much as I can tell you about what I saw that dark morning, I still don't know why it had to act the way it did. Was it a lonely bird looking at the world's problems with a cold heart and the words "it's not my responsibility"? Or was she an average working bird, pushed too far. Maybe she had too many eggs to nurture, too many fellow chickens to listen to. But did she have the authority to leave her eggs behind with only a joke 'question' haunting them forever? Still, she waited. The metaphorical gears of her mind could almost be heard whirring as thousands of thoughts came into being. [i]when would be the perfect time to step forward? What if I wait too long?[/i] Or maybe it was thinking of the unhatched eggs waiting for it back in the coop. Alone in the world, waiting for the mother that will never return. Thrust upon their own decisions, their own judgement with possibly none to turn to. It was then that she heard me. I shifted my weight only slightly; which was followed by a sharp crack of twigs under my feet in an otherwise deathly quiet street. She looked into my eyes and I saw nothing but sadness in the beady black circles. She was probably wondering what I was going to do next. Would I try and stop her? Should she just run down the road squawking frantically? I felt like a negotiator with a megaphone gazing up at somebody preparing to leap from a building. But this megaphone is broken. '[i]I can't speak chicken[/i]' I remember thinking. A car might happen to come through the fog just as I rushed to grab her. Maybe if somebody had listened to her chirps things would have ended up differently. The chicks would have grown up to have eggs of their own. Whatever the answer, whatever the reason for her choice, whichever car was the one to hit her, the chicken ultimately got what it wanted. In the end, she won and that's all that matters. All that was left was a confused teenager stepping out from behind the wheel and a bloody red mess staining his tyres. I stepped away before he asked any questions that I couldn't answer. It all happened too quickly for me to put together and there were still the same questions of 'why was it in the street?' and 'who was this chicken, before today?' I zipped up my jacket and started the slow walk back home; the early morning grocery run forgotten and replaced with feelings of remorse and sadness. Such is life, I guess. [Edited on 07.19.2012 1:09 AM PDT]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] oXI Reaver IXo [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Emperor Gillard tyres.[/quote] Wut.[/quote] That's how we spell tyres here...
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  • The reason you didn't get a perfect grade is because of spelling and grammar issues. Of course, I did find this humorous nonetheless.
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  • Why does everyone question the chicken's motives?
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  • Were you just out of ideas and you wrote an overly- detailed story of a chicken crossing the road?
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Emperor Gillard tyres.[/quote] Wut.
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  • ...because the 2 dictionaries went first.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Emperor Gillard DISCLAIMER.[/quote] stop reading there [Edited on 05.25.2012 6:46 AM PDT]
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  • Not bad. I've written something very similar to this, but it's not saved to my computer. >:(
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  • A+ sir, not 12/15
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  • Wow you came up with that in 45 min, very good.
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  • Quality story, thank you for linking me to it.
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  • Wow. That was terrific. A++ Will do business again.
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  • Here's a funny story. I was once on the phone talking with my friend, walking up and down the house because I had nothing better to do, walked outside, strolled across the yard for a sec when I look to the street and guess what I see... A chicken, crossing the street. You should have seen me, I was freaking out and laughing maniacally, it was just so amusing. Seriously, should you ever actually see a chicken crossing the street you'd understand. It was pretty amazing. True Story. [Edited on 05.25.2012 1:16 AM PDT]
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  • Shoulda been more then 12 in my opinion...silly teacher and her overly load voice. Fish got 12 too xD
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  • No problem. Just use semi-colons if you feel it doesn't flow well or it runs on; they are acceptable forms of punctuation as well. [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Emperor Gillard The crisp June air blew softly against its feathers, silent but as cold as ice.[/quote] Your above sentence has two separate clauses and a conjunction in the second. Anytime you use the word "but" there needs to be a comma before it. This is how it should be. The crisp June air blew softly against its feathers; silent, but as cold as ice. Like I said though, none of this really matters all that much until you get into college.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Kadoozy [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Emperor Gillard [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Kadoozy Well besides all of the spelling and punctuation errors, It isn't too bad at all. If you are in high school then this paper wouldn't be too bad.[/quote] Was there really thatmany spelling errors? I just skimmed through it and I couldn't see any. Well there is probably 'emanating', which I have no idea how to spell. But yes, I'm in high school.[/quote] There are a good few. I saw you used the wrong "to" at least once. Mainly your comma splicing is what I noticed. You did pretty well with your semi-colons though for being in high school, most people don't use them, but you were too liberal at times with your commas. Once you get into college English courses your mind will pretty much be blown and you will realize just how crappy your old papers used to be as far as mistakes go.[/quote] Yeah I understand the comma issues... I often have nearly three sentences in one and can't help it. Thanks for the feedback though.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Emperor Gillard [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Kadoozy Well besides all of the spelling and punctuation errors, It isn't too bad at all. If you are in high school then this paper wouldn't be too bad.[/quote] Was there really thatmany spelling errors? I just skimmed through it and I couldn't see any. Well there is probably 'emanating', which I have no idea how to spell. But yes, I'm in high school.[/quote] There are a good few. I saw you used the wrong "to" at least once. Mainly your comma splicing is what I noticed. You did pretty well with your semi-colons though for being in high school, most people don't use them, but you were too liberal at times with your commas. Once you get into college English courses your mind will pretty much be blown and you will realize just how crappy your old papers used to be as far as mistakes go.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Kadoozy Well besides all of the spelling and punctuation errors, It isn't too bad at all. If you are in high school then this paper wouldn't be too bad.[/quote] Was there really thatmany spelling errors? I just skimmed through it and I couldn't see any. Well there is probably 'emanating', which I have no idea how to spell. But yes, I'm in high school.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] ElementWrath I don't like that you didn't seem able to decide whether this was serious or not.[/quote] I know what you mean and I really couldn't. I didn't want it to be too depressing, but I wanted to give the notion of how it had given up on everything. I just roughly decided to throw it in between.
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  • Well besides all of the spelling and punctuation errors, It isn't too bad at all. If you are in high school then this paper wouldn't be too bad.
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  • I don't like that you didn't seem able to decide whether this was serious or not.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AUSSIE JOSHY 12/15 my ass! That deserves 100%.[/quote] <3 The teacher said I didn't represent power and authority well enough, which I can agree to. I had a draft copy that went a lot more into it, but it just felt like it was dragging on and was more of a philosophical story about things like 'was it even a real road, or just a symbolic representation of the chicken's life?'
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  • I laughed way harder than I should have when I read, "The chicken wanted to die." That answered 86.46853683% of the questions of life. [Edited on 05.25.2012 12:08 AM PDT]
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  • 12/15 my ass! That deserves 100%.
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  • whoa
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Emperor Gillard The [/quote]Stopped right there [Edited on 05.25.2012 12:04 AM PDT]
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