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10/31/2011 10:18:12 PM
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You Are Seven. [Final Update]

This is a contest entry that I submitted in my group. I decided to do it in chapters in order to not over whelm the reader. Please be kind and not bash! ______________________ [quote] Chapter 1. Norman was a humble man. He always showed loving kindness to the people around him. He was a caring man in the eyes of the blind. What they failed to see beyond his shroud self-decency was that his life was much darker. If people had known who this man really was, their initial reactions would be far different. They might say "monster", they might say "demon." But you can never really label somebody with a history such as his own. On a bright and cold day in the autumn of the year Norman went out for a late lunch. He quietly strolled into his favorite restaurant KFC. As he walked to the counter he could feel the eyes of its occupants watching him defile their territory. One was so bold as to say to him "what your white ass doing in here? You wanna get yo self shot?" Norman acted like he did not hear the barbaric remark. He continued to make his way to the counter while he also thought of his order. The cashier greeted him with a fake smile and a sarcastic "Welcome to KFC. What can you get you?" Norman showed a tiny smirk and kindly replied with "I would like a double down and a large drink please." He handed the cashier his credit card. As it was moved through the machine a pair of eyes to his left caught his attention. The three giants glared right through him with evil trying to inject him with fear. His attention was then broken when the cashier placed his tray of food before him. Very calmly, Norman picked up his tray and walked over to a table where the men who stared at him were in full view. Even when he looked away, they glared at him, even when he kindly waved, then glared at him. He even offered them some money for food, but they just kept quiet and continued to glare at him. The steam from his double down and bowl of mashed potatoes engulfed his senses. As he un-wrapped his sandwich and gazed upon the potential heart attack, one of the men walked over to his table. He towered above him while not saying a word. Norman sank his teeth into his sandwich and felt it ooze down into his empty stomach. The man that stood at his table then began to sit down across from him. He arched his head over the small table and then spat in Norman's bowl of mashed potatoes Norman took several deep breathes to calm himself. He even spoke quietly to himself "fight it back. Come on fight it back, do not do it! Remember your progress!" Norman looked up at the man and acted like it did not affect him. It grew harder for him to fight it back when the man poured his drink all over his lap. Norman's blood began to boil. His eyes widened and his heart raced. "Come on, you can beat this! Just hold it off," he said softly to himself again. The man arose from the chair are walked over to Norman's left side. Acting like he was not there, Norman proceeded to take another bite of the sandwich. But it was smacked into his face by the man beside him Norman slowly reached into his right jacket pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He punched in three memorable numbers and when the other end finally answered he said to them; "I need an ambulance the KFC at 115 Grand Hill Drive. We have a young man here with two gunshots to his chest, and a white male in critical condition." Norman calmly ended his 911 call and placed the phone back into his pocket. He took several deep breathes and then reached in the left side of his jacket and pulled out a small handgun. Time slowed to a near crawl and Norman lined up the barrel of his weapon with the man's chest. Before the man even had a reaction, Norman fired his first shot into the man's chest. The bullet roared through his body and found its way out on the other side with a trail of blood behind it. Norman fired his second shot. The bullet casings fell to the floor one by one and rattled on the ground just as the laws of physics predicted. The man's lifeless body fell to the floor and a pool of blood surrounded him. Norman then looked over at the man's remaining companions who now had their weapons drawn on him. Norman dropped his weapon and held his arms at his side. He then said something to the men in front of him. "Take me!" A roar of gunfire erupted in the restaurant. Many bullets struck Norman's body and forced him down to the floor. He tried to speak, but his lungs and mouth were full of his own blood. His eyes remained fixed on a swirling fan. They watched it twist, and twist around until it started to fade. His eyes slowly shut, and his heart slowed. The heart beats grew slower and slower and slower. Until it finally stopped. [/quote] [quote] Chapter 2. Norman's eyes slightly twitched. Small beams of light glistened through the cracks as they slowly began to open. When they had completely opened Norman noticed the fan above him. It was detached from its former spot and just hung from the ceiling. It swung back and forward creating a squeak along with it. Norman's eyes searched across the room, everything was different. The ceiling was covered in dirt, it looked rotten and decades old. The windows were completely covered by rock and the roots of plants wiggled between the glass and dirt. The tables were all destroyed and tossed around the room. Norman slowly arose from the floor while observing his surroundings. "What's going on," he softly said to himself A quick memory flash came to his mind. A vision of him being shot, and of him shooting that man in the KFC. Just after the visions left, a voice began to speak to him. "Wrath," it whispered to him. Norman jumped to his feet and yelled "who's there?" Being met with nothing but the echo of his own voice, Norman walked to the front door and forced it open. The hinges were rusty and squeaked with its movement. Once he had broken through the doors, Norman proceeded down the tunnel that faced him. Jail cell bars filled the tunnel and spanned far down the tunnel. With every step he took, something crunched beneath his feet. One foot after the other followed by crunch, crunch, and, crunch. Norman looked down at his feet to see what the crunching sound was. He lifted his left foot up and discovered that he was crushing bones. They were small, and covered with maggots, almost like chicken bones. Groans and sounds of tearing flesh emerged in the dark abyss. Norman followed the sounds to a nearby cell. Something in the back was moving. The sounds of tearing flesh became clearer; it was feeding on something "Hello? I can hear you," Norman said cowardly. The sounds subsided. For a brief moment the darkness of the tunnel played tricks with Norman's ears. It made him think there were other people inside. He turned back to the jail cell and found horridly disfigured man standing before him Norman's mouth fell at the sight of this plight. The man held something in his right hand. Norman focused more on it and discovered that it was a leg. It had teeth marks all over the flesh, parts of the bone were gnawed, and, fresh blood dripped from it. The man then dropped the leg; Norman followed it and then noticed that the man's right leg was gone. Norman slowly backed away from the cell, and then ran as fast as he could down the tunnel. The voice that spoke to him earlier came back. "Sloth," it whispered to him. Norman finally reached the end of the long tunnel. A cliff lay before him, it was proceeded by thick red clouds in front and below him. "Great, I'm trapped up here," he said in frustration. He then squatted down by the cliff and tried to think about where he was. "Ok Norman. You were eating, then you killed somebody and then you were shot. So you ARE dead, but what the hell is this place?" Norman banged his hands against his head, and said "come on, wake up! Wake up! This can't be real; there is no Heaven and Hell. Just wake up!" As he closed his eyes and tried to wake himself up from his supposed slumber, another vision arose. A woman's scream filled his mind, as did his own moans of pleasure As he finished and gave one last climax of pleasure, Norman watched himself place something on his member. It was a leather sleeve that completely covered it The tip had a short knife attached to it. He placed his hands over it, and said to the woman "How about another round? This time I have a little treat for you." The woman gave Norman a small nod and then positioned herself for him. The knife tip drew closer and closer to its target. Norman watched himself in disgust about what he did. As the tip finally hit it's mark, the vision ended. "Lust!" The voice said loudly this time. Norman jumped with surprise but fell over the side of the cliff. Immediately the clouds engulfed him. They were scorching like steam, it burned his skin something horrible. It peeled away from his muscle, his hair singed and clumped to pieces. His eyes boiled and popped like eggs, but somehow he was still alive. [/quote] [Edited on 10.31.2011 6:36 PM PDT]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Brisket Eater Bamph![/quote]No Bumping
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  • Bamph!
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AGLA Froman When I was seven, I saw a picture of two Hooters girls and I have been a pervert ever since. True story.[/quote]Sorta relevant in a way to the story. But it is still spam.
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  • When I was seven, I saw a picture of two Hooters girls and I have been a pervert ever since. True story.
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  • UPDATE: Small changes, and typo fixes.
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  • Wonderful ending!
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  • Im still trying to figure that one out. Commas scare me.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AngryBrute1 Thanks Swifty![/quote] There was one of the abundant that nagged me: when you used the space, comma and then and, you spaced the comma and the and like so: "[insert something here] , and...." That was a peeve.
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  • Nice, I like this chapter. Now I get the story a whole lot better. Thanks for the awesome read. You should keep posting cool stories like these.
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  • Thanks Swifty!
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  • Other than some of the more obvious and easily spotted errors, not a half bad read. I really liked the beginning, how he tried stifling it and, as a forewarning, called 9-11.
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  • Final chapter posted!
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  • Bumpty bump bump.
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  • [quote]Chapter 3. Norman impacted the rock ground with great intensity. His bones shattered, his skull cracked like an egg. He laid there motionless, and, like a wet sponge. The loose muscle hung from his bones and bleed all around him. His heart still kept beating normally. Despite the sheer shock of the impact and the burning of his skin, he still lived. Even when his brain molded between the cracks in his skull; he still had thoughts. Thoughts of pain, agony, and wishing for a death that will never come flowed throughout his shattered mind. The pain grew in intensity. As he lay there motionless, he could feel his body somehow pull itself back together. His muscles tightened and his boned reattached themselves to their proper places. His brain retracted back into the skull as it pieced itself back together. From the top of his head, to the bottom of his feet; his skin grew back like grass along with his hair. Within minutes he was completely restored; as if nothing ever happened to him. Not a sign of harm appeared on his body. Norman arose and examined his body. His clothes were now gone, so he was vulnerable to the heat, and sharp rocks around him. "How This is not possible!" Norman continued on through the hot mist. Dodging falling rocks, flame bursts, and, sharp corners The mist grew thinner as he reached the end, but the heat became more and more unbearable. The rocks were glowing read, and burned at the touch. Screams of pain echoed around him, as he moved forward they grew louder and the mist grew thinner. A vast lake of molten rock lay before him when he reached the end of the mist. Millions upon millions of people inhabited it in an attempt to reach to other side. The far bank appeared to be miles away. Norman could barely make it out; he just saw the blurred shore line from where he stood. From his left, and, to his right he saw more people enter the lake of fire. Their bodies erupted in flame as soon as they touched it. Norman dropped to his knees. "I I have to go through that," he cried while watching the damned pour into the lake. The screams of the people filled his mind, their bodies lit up like candles and all Norman did was just laid there wallowing with self-pity. "I deserve this! I deserve this," he said while tears poured out of his eyes. The voice spoke to him again with a calmer and, firm tone. "This is all that is left. The lake of fire is all that is left of your pain. Reaching the other side will grant you peace, freedom, and rest. You need only cross it!" Norman raised his head with new found confidence. Believing in the lie that was told to him, Norman rushed down to the shore of the lake; not minding that the bottoms of his own feet were being burnt off. The heat surrounded him, and cooked his organs like an oven. "Ok, let's do this," Norman said with confidence. Knowing that he was about to endure the most unfathomable pain, Norman ran into the thick and glowing molten lake. He became a walking corpse instantly. The skin, muscle, hair, everything vanished within the flame. Barely reaching 10 feet, Norman wondered if what he was told was true. Was there really peace at the end? Or only more pain? 10 yards down. 5,000 more to go.[/quote] [Edited on 10.31.2011 6:35 PM PDT]
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  • This just in! Humanity has discovered a yellowy-orangish hot stuff that has recently been dubbed "Fire"
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  • That's pretty kinky, OP.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] BillThePenguin3 [url=http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll36/Bigsteve87/Gifs/DidntReadlolElmo.gif]lol[/url][/quote]
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  • Hah! I'm totally gonna read all that!
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  • [url=http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll36/Bigsteve87/Gifs/DidntReadlolElmo.gif]lol[/url]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] WinyPit82 I've seen this before...[/quote]
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  • China called, and they want their wall back.
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  • I've seen this before...
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