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7/8/2006 8:33:22 AM
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Mods

----------------------------------------Mods----------------------------------------- [u]Mods is written on location with the men and….um….other men of forum moderation[/u] [b]dmbfan09:[/b] It’s hard man, I tell you. You come home from workin’ a hard day and you just wanna go fight some covenant or something. But you can’t, man, no. You know you gotta strap on the hammer and get out there. Make the forums a safer place, you know? [i]The scene is dark and rainy. Normal conditions it seems. The red taillights of the modcar play off the wet, shiny blacktop to create an eerie aura of the area outside the car windows. Moderator dmbfan09 is on patrol tonight.[/i] [b]dmbfan09:[/b] I took this job ‘cause I wanted the new members to grow up in a good environment. Seeing all that random, misspelled junk. Horrid, hate-filled spam and whatnot. That ain’t right for those kids. It just ain’t right. [i]dmbfan09 makes a careful turn off the main road onto a large side street. The street sign is covered mostly in black sprain paint, enough to make it illegible. Community Guys forgot this place long ago[/i] [b]dmbfan09:[/b] We’re comin’ up on Downtown Flood. The widowmaker. Headquarters for the spammers and flamers of the site. This is where you really know if you can do this job or not. [i]The streets are filled with people, all congregating in every odd manner. Everything is run down. It feels like you need a bathe just looking at the place[/i] [b]dmbfan09:[/b] See, it looks innocent from here. All these people, you think they’re just chatting. Nooo. I’ll bet half of ‘um are spammin’, and the other half are flammin’. Just we can’t do anything till we actually see something. [i]dmbfan09 turns down another street. Sharp eyes search though everything.[/i] [b]Camera man:[/b] Why, why do they call it the “widowmaker?” [b]dmbfan09:[/b] It sucks you in, see? Men come out here just for a routine partrol, just normal stuff. Then they find a huge quoting’ pyramid going on. They start to lock it, then they think they might do more. They start bannin’ everyone. Then they have to deal with all the people down at the precinct. Soon, they’ve spent the whole day here. Wives find out, get angry. Usually ends in divorce or separation. Really sad. [i]More of this depressing place is seen. There are smaller groups discussing border-line religion. 30 or 40 people are arguing whither or not “aint” is a word. There is no capitalization in sight.[/i] [b]Camera Man:[/b] Is it always like this? [b]dmbfan09:[/b] Every night……………Every night. [i]In front of the car, illuminated by the headlights, is a man dressed in a sleeveless undershirt and jeans. He’s just standing alone, making meaningless posts.[/i] [b]dmbfan09:[/b] I’m gonna check this out [i]dmbfan09 gets out of the modcar, leaving all lights on, and approaches the man[/i] [b]dmbfan09:[/b] Evenin’, sir. What are you posting there? [b]kid510:[/b] Moderaytah, I made a caption contest foh the people. [b]dmbfan09:[/b] I can see that. What did you just post, right just a second ago? [b]kid510:[/b] I was sayin how we needed mo’ captions and so I was getting the thread back out there. [b]dmbfan09:[/b] Sir, I can see that you moved here close to a year ago. Are you aware that bumping is illegal? [b]kid510:[/b] There ain’t nothin’ wrong with what I did! [b]dmbfan09:[/b] Sir, the post you just made had no value. [b]kid510:[/b] See, what had happened was I was showin’ the thread to the people who might not’ve seen it. [b]dmbfan09:[/b] That’s considered bumping sir, and it’s against the rules and regulations. I’m gonna need you to come with me. [b]kid510:[/b] I don’t need a ban! Not now! I was just written dis’ story and….. [i]dmbfan09 makes for his Banhammer and moves closer to the man[/i] [b]dmbfan09:[/b] Sir, I’m gonna need you to come with me. [b]kid510:[/b] A’ight, A’ight. I’m coh-op-eratin’. I’m gonna coh-op-erate. [b]dmbfan09:[/b] Alright. Good. Seeing as how this is your first offense, it’ll probably be a three-day ban. Now- [i]Suddenly, kid510 makes a break for it.[/i] [b]dmbfan09:[/b]Aww! He’s runnin’! He’s runnin’! [i]The kid510 is quick. The camera shakes and tumbles as the Camera Man tries to keep both kid510 and Moderator dmbfan09 (Banhammer drawn and ready) in frame. The man jumps two threads, and tries to go into the third, but it’s in been locked. He tries the fourth, but it’s creater has been banned, slowing him down. By this time Moderator dmbfan09 has caught up with him and overtakes him, easily. The Banhammer comes down effortlessly.[/i] [b]dmbfan09:[/b] Alright sir. The ban is going to be for seven days. Do you understand? [b]kid501:[/b] I don’t NEED this right now! I don’t need this thing, man. [b]dmbfan09:[/b] Do you understand, sir? [i]kid510 begins to calm down and stops stuggling as heavily[/i] [b]kid510:[/b] Yeah, yeah I understand. I just been going through some stuff now. [i]dmbfan09 leads kid510 into the mod car. He catches his breathe as they drive toward the precinct.[/i] [b]dmbfan09:[/b] You’re only hurting your rep, you know that? The only person you have to blame is you. [b]kid510:[/b] Yeah, I know, I know. I’m sorry for what I did, man. Sorry. [i]dmbfan09 doesn’t reply and an uncomfortable silence sets in on the car. After a moment, it’s broken by kid510[/i] [b]kid510:[/b] Where are we goin’, man? [b]dmbfan09:[/b] I told you. We’re going to the precinct. [b]kid510:[/b] Then what’s up with all the turnin’, man? We’ve made, like, 12 turns in the past 5 minutes. [b]dmbfan09:[/b] That’s just the way it is, kid. ----------------------------------------Mods----------------------------------------- [b]dmbfan09:[/b] That’s just the way it is. Apologies to dmbfan09 and kid510. Thanks for reading. [Edited on 7/8/2006]
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  • Good job Douglas Brown...nicely written.
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  • I like it.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Kritz Question: Can we expect a series, o' Douglas? [/quote] Of more episodes of "Mods?" Probably not. That was pretty much the way every "Cops" episode goes, aside from women exposing themselves and a "domestic disturbance" call. More Bungie.net television show parodies? I think so.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Hobo GRrunt Discussion of mods isn't allowed on the forums... [/quote] Who cares. That was awesome!
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  • Haha. Question: Can we expect a series, o' Douglas? I only wish I wasn't so lazy in flash. I'd probably make this. >> Kritz
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Jesus Prototype [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] JAVA24 Hey fellas, lets not ruin this thread, the story was grand, if you two Negative Nancies wanna wrestle...use the PM'S....thank you...[/quote] you have to admit, it was KINKY[/quote] Yes slightly.....thank you for stopping.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] JAVA24 Hey fellas, lets not ruin this thread, the story was grand, if you two Negative Nancies wanna wrestle...use the PM'S....thank you...[/quote] you have to admit, it was KINKY
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  • No, JAVA, thank [b]you.[/b]
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  • I second that notion.
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  • Hey fellas, lets not ruin this thread, the story was grand, if you two Negative Nancies wanna wrestle...use the PM'S....thank you...
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Emoscreamo [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Jesus Prototype [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Emoscreamo Your brain=not in your head[/quote] Your wrist = not attached to your hand[/quote] Your dick=nowhere to be found[/quote] stop having your little brother type for you, just because you cut your hand off doesnt mean you have to threaten your little brother with JAVA's belt... you sick freak [Edited on 7/8/2006]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Emoscreamo [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Jesus Prototype [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Emoscreamo Your brain=not in your head[/quote] Your wrist = not attached to your hand[/quote] Your dick=nowhere to be found[/quote] KINKIEST!!!
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Jesus Prototype [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Emoscreamo Your brain=not in your head[/quote] Your wrist = not attached to your hand[/quote] Your dick=nowhere to be found
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  • hawt.....
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Emoscreamo Your brain=not in your head[/quote] Your wrist = not attached to your hand
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Emoscreamo Your brain=not in your head[/quote] Kinkier!
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Jesus Prototype My pants= not on me[/quote] kinky!
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  • Your brain=not in your head
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  • My pants= not on me
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  • Sorry, but no.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Douglas Brown [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] cortana 5 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Douglas Brown [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=5420516&p ostRepeater1-p=1]I do like those mods[/url]. [/quote] How did he get those instuctions?[/quote] Do you vomit easily?[/quote] No.
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  • One day...*looks at the sky* [b] you'll [/b] be a mod.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] cortana 5 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Douglas Brown [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=5420516&p ostRepeater1-p=1]I do like those mods[/url]. [/quote] How did he get those instuctions?[/quote] Do you vomit easily?
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Douglas Brown [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=5420516&p ostRepeater1-p=1]I do like those mods[/url]. [/quote] How did he get those instuctions?
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  • [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=5420516&p ostRepeater1-p=1]I do like those mods[/url]. EDIT: Man, it was FUN back then. Like, I keep listening to MCsBrother and Texas Ben talk about how it was just perspective and that it's aways been the same, it's just us that have changed, but I think there was really a bigger sense of community. Maybe I just need to log on more. [Edited on 7/8/2006]
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  • Haha, brilliant. Haven't had a laugh like that on the forums for too long. Have a dollar!
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