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#Halo

7/18/2011 12:34:35 AM
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EFG_

Well, my life is ruined.

Seriously, I've become addicted to this game. It is really ruining my relationship with my family and girlfriend. I forgot to feed my dog for 4 days straight. Well, ok maybe not 4 days straight, but I did forget to feed him last night. The point is I think I may have a legitimate addiction to reach. Should I get help? [Edited on 07.17.2011 4:47 PM PDT]
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  • So he's willing to waste time trying and failing to troll a forum instead of doing something that would have been better, like I dunno, watch an awesome movie, play a good game, relax? Sleep? What a waste of time for him. I bet it's like past midnight wherever he is and that for the past 2-3 hours he could have been in his nice and warm bed. Sucks to be him ^_~
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  • In before lock!
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  • Actually, I have a feeling he will be getting off for the night since he has to get up at 5:30 AM.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Mister Art [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Majatek He still got banned lmfao. And if you're his alt, then that's just even more pathetic. Clinging on for attention much? Lmfao.[/quote]Nah, I'm not his alt, but I know which one his alt is. [/quote]Still, if he's got an alt, then that's pretty fail lmfao considering that he's going to be posting pretty much the same thing. And get banned again. And then create another account to post attention seeking threads because he's got nothing else to do.
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  • Wow that's a lot of "HEY HEY LISTEN HEY!" type of accounts. Talk about desperate.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Majatek He still got banned lmfao. And if you're his alt, then that's just even more pathetic. Clinging on for attention much? Lmfao.[/quote]Nah, I'm not his alt, but I know which one his alt is.
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  • Guys, MarryMeJane, ILoveThel, and Mister art are his Alt. Accounts. I know this because I tricked him to revealing a lot of information about him to me, including his original fetish story after he deleted it. Mods, ban those 3 accounts!
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  • He still got banned lmfao. And if you're his alt, then that's just even more pathetic. Clinging on for attention much? Lmfao.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] shivrsharma27 YAY he's been blacklisted and his posts are gone![/quote]Something tells me he probably already evaded his ban. ;)
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  • ^__^ I love it how he tried to get me involved with what he did - He still has "I am Majatek" in his "About Me" box. Really quite pathetic actually lmfao. Well now that he's banned, there's no point in replying to this topic or any other thread he made. It was funny seeing him own himself, but yeah now it's stopped so I'm off. Catch you guys and gals around!
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  • YAY he's been blacklisted and his posts are gone!
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  • inb4 fail OP posting more spammed blank comments. *edit* Owait, he's banned. LMFAO. [Edited on 07.17.2011 6:23 PM PDT]
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  • PS everyone who missed it, here is his original story: [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] EFG_ I was living the life. I had a beautiful girlfriend whom I loved very much, a decent job, and plans to graduate from college after I got a degree in the fine arts and architecture. I had my own apartment and my own car. I wasn't rich or anything, but I was in good shape. Life was good. My friends had been telling me about Halo Reach. I played some of the halo games before and they were alright. But I didn't really have time for video games anymore even though I did have an xbox 360. But after being pestered for so long to try Reach, I decided to give in. I borrowed a copy from one of my friends. The campaign was alright; It wasn't amazing, but I had fun. Multiplayer was alright too and I had fun playing matchmaking with my friends online. But then we played invasion and I enjoyed it a lot. I loved being on the elite team because the elites just kicked ass! Every time my friends got on, I would ask them to play invasion with me. That is all I wanted to play. So after a few days of playing invasion, something weird started to happen. The grunting noises that the elites made when they rolled or sprinted, they began to appeal to me. They began to ....arouse me. I felt very uncomfortable about this because I was -blam!-ly attracted to my girlfriend. I did not want to think about elites like that, it was disturbing. I began to have strange dreams about elites. I dreamt about the naked arbiter from halo 2. They disturbed me greatly and yet I just couldn't stop thinking about them! I tried to keep my mind off of it, I tried to think about my girlfriend in the nude, but my mind kept wondering back to the elites. One day, when my girlfriend had to visit her family, I got on Halo Reach. The internet was down. so I thought I could mess around in forge or something. I still could not stop thinking about the elites and the grunting noises they made. Eventually, it became too much for me to resist. I started up a custom game of slayer by myself and used the elite model. I set the sprint loadout to infinite use then I taped down the right bumper. My elite began to sprint across forge world and the grunting noises he made were so amazing! I couldn't help but become aroused as images of male elites played in my mind as the growls emanated from the TV. So I closed my eyes , unzipped my pants and I began to pleasure myself. I began to imagine that I was being -blam!- in the ass by an elite. I hadn't been jerking off for 2 minutes when I came. It was fast! But afterwards, I felt so -blam!-...and so wrong. A week had passed since my traumatic experience of jerking off to the sounds of an elite grunting. I could not get it out of my mind. My girlfriend was beginning to notice that something was wrong, as I was not up to my usual performance in bed. I told her that I was just thinking about work related problems. Sadly, I found that I was no longer being aroused by my girlfriend. But I did not want to lose her, I still wanted to please her. So I imagined that I was making love to a male elite, that I was -blam!- the arbiter in the ass. This seemed to be working in the meantime, but it didn't last for long as it was a temporary solution. When my girlfriend wasn't around, I'd jack off while thinking about the arbiter. Each time was more amazing than the last! But, it wasn't enough I wanted more. I wanted to FEEL the penetration. So I experimented with different things that could safely emulate the texture and shape of an elite -blam!-. I tried many different objects: bananas, pears, the broken off handle of a swiffer mop, and cucumbers. I finally settled on cucumbers. It hurt at first, but I got used to it. My orgasms doubled in strength! I would turn on Halo Reach, go into a custom game, get the elite sprinting, lube up the cucumber with Vaseline, stick it in me, and then jerk off. Eventually, the cucumbers got too expensive to buy and my girlfriend was getting suspicious about all the "rotten cucumbers" in the garbage can. So I had to find a more permanent solution. After some browsing online, I found a special toy store called www.bad-dragon.com. It was a weird website that sold dragon dildos. I never knew that something like that even existed! I was looking for something that could emulate an elite -blam!-, so I settled on something called the fusion, which was close enough. After making sure that the credit card statement would be discreet, I ordered it for over $100. It would take 2 months to arrive. Meanwhile, I had spent $120 on cucumbers and Vaseline. When it finally arrived, I tried it out and it was amazing! The bumps tickled as they went in, the firmness was just perfect!I imagined an elite wang would feel just like this! My orgasms had tripled in strength! Sometimes I almost passed out from how intense they were! It was amazing! But...things went downhill. I got fired from my job because my productivity went down. (I kept -blam!-ing while thinking about the arbiter instead of working). I started failing my classes because I would spend my time wanking instead of doing my homework. One day, my girlfriend came home without me hearing her car pull in. I was too busy pleasuring myself with my new dildo. She must have heard my groans and my cries of "OH ARBITER!!!" emanating from my room, because she walked in on me just as I ejaculated all over The TV screen. She screamed as loud as she could and I jumped up. I can only imagine what the scene must have looked like to her as I jumped up, insanely feral look on my face, semen dripping from my dick, dildo up my ass, bottle of lube next to my chair, and elite grunting noises coming from the semen-coated TV. My life has hit rock bottom. I have no girlfriend anymore, I only got a job at McDonald's, I had to sell my car to help pay for my rent. I am currently on Social Security and I had to drop out of college because I could no longer afford it. This is how halo reach ruined my life. This is also why Bungie should remove elites from matchmaking.[/quote]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] kaine mastero U MAD BRO?[/quote]
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  • OP, you have it worse than xelon99. I hope you get a tour of Bungie too.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] EFG_ Seriously, I've become addicted to this game. It is really ruining my relationship with my family and girlfriend. I forgot to feed my dog for 4 days straight. Well, ok maybe not 4 days straight, but I did forget to feed him last night. The point is I think I may have a legitimate addiction to reach. Should I get help?[/quote]pick up your copy of reach and break it. problem solved^_^
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  • Try playing 9920 games of Halo 3 xD I loved it! [Edited on 07.17.2011 6:17 PM PDT]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] karsttheninja99 That was the biggest waste of 2 minutes in my life[/quote] It took you 2 minutes to read that?
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  • Desperate fail troll is desperate.
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  • Took you two minutes to read that little post?
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  • Epic Fail Guy...
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] shivrsharma27 sigh[/quote]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] caneut [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] NJ Goon Squad 1 TL;DR[/quote]TL;DR who wants to play halo with me?[/quote] I WILL!!!!!
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