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8/20/2011 3:29:35 AM
12
The Grammar Mistakes are Horrid... (A story)
Gareth sat at his desk with a mouse in hand. As usual, he was slowly scrolling up and down the flood forum. He pressed the refresh button every minute on the minute, searching for threads to protect. When reading a thread he would scan every reply waiting for someone to slip up; to break the rules and evoke his wrath. Gareth was quite used to this. It was his job.
While working Gareth was in full uniform. He wore a solid, dark blue formal suit with a matching tie. Upon his left breast were almost twenty different badges; all trophies for the great deeds he had preformed. His feet were covered by the blackest of leather shoes, and his hands were enclosed within the coziest of gloves. Upon his head sat a dark blue cap sporting the crest of his employer. His left arm was hugged by a red banner sporting the same, horrifying crest.
After almost five minutes of searching, Gareth found a victim. A user by the name of N00bsl@yerXx12 had made a horrid mistake. His reply to the thread made Gareth cringe. It was the most disgusting thing anyone, no, anything in existence could do. [i] N00bsl@yerXx12 had used the word "there" when he obviously meant to use the word "they're." [/i]
Gareth smacked the "reply" button with his cruiser. He needed to show this ruffian how a [b] real[/b] Floodian posted. It took less than a second for the white typing box to appear. Gareth's fingers danced across his keyboard as he typed down the corrections needed, along with a witty one liner to make poor N00bsl@yerXx12 feel inadequate compared to the mighty Gareth. Once Gareth completed his masterpiece he clicked the "quote" button. He took one last look at his reply before submitting it. Gareth knew full well that if he made a mistake as well he would be disowned by his brothers.
After what seemed like an eternity, Gareth's message popped into existence on the thread. It was directly under N00bsl@yerXx12's post making it ever the more noticeable. Two more replies spotting the grammar mistake popped up right under Gareth's.
[i] My fellow's, doing their duty as well.[/i] thought Gareth.
Gareth leaned back into his chair and chuckled. His layers of fat jiggled with his laughter. He launched his arm into the air and let out a cheer of joy.
This was a fine victory for The Grammar N@zis.
Disclaimer: I apologize if there's actually a person named Gareth reading this. I made up the name. I am not sorry, however, for N00bsl@yerXx12. If you actually exist, I would like to inform you that your username is terrible.
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Master Chief meets Twilight Sparkle. [url=http://www.fql.co/]Cortana was dead and the Chief was stranded on a strange planet. Who knows how long it has been since he went into stasis. The covenant war seemed like it ended yesterday. Chief sighed to himself, "I did what I could." He was lonely. All of a sudden, he heard a giggle behind him. Master Chief spun around on the spot and prepared to fire his gun. He saw what looked like some sort of cartoonish purple equine, looking right back at him. She had a rich purple mane with pink highlights, and she had big beautiful eyes. Master chief wasn't prone to emotion, but he had never seen something so beautiful in his entire life. He wanted to hold her so bad.... "Hi Mister alien thing, what's your name?" The pony said. It was so weird hearing this thing, this pony talk. But then again, Master Chief was on an unknown planet, so maybe the norm does not apply. "I'm the Chief. Call me Master Chief." Master chief replied. "Oh hi Mister Chief!" the pony replied, "I'm Twilight Sparkle!" Her voice was musical like an angel. It had such a quality of unfettered innocence that brought tears to his eyes. After living a life of danger and violence, this was a huge relief. Actually, relief is an understatement, this is just what he needed. "You are beautiful" Master Chief said to Twilight Sparkle. "Oh uh...thanks I guess... ^_^" said the pony as she began to blush. "By the way, where am I?" The Chief asked. "I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me Mister Chief! One moment I was playing with my friends, the next moment I appear here in weirdo land! I was lonely and scared until you showed up!" Twilight sparkle said. "Well, don't worry. I'll be your friend and I'll keep you safe." Said the chief. Later that night, it got cold, and Twilight sparkle used magic to conjure a campfire. The chief didn't need a campfire to stay warm, his armor took care of that. But it was still amazing to see magic. If that's what it really was. First the pony's horn glowed, and she said something, then a fire appeared. "This darling creature is amazing." chief thought to himself. About 30 minutes later, Twilight Sparkle said "Mister Chief, I'm cold. :(" Chief didn't have anything to keep her warm so he said "Can't you use this "magic" do summon a blanket?" The Pony shook her head and she said "I don't know that spell." So the Chief said "I'll get you something." Then he went off into the woods. 10 minutes later, he came back carrying a fur pelt. "Where did you get that?" Twilight Sparkle asked. "I ripped it off a bear creature" MC answered. "Wow! With your bare hands? You are so strong mister chief!" Twilight sparkled exclaimed. Chief wrapped the blanket around the pony and she thanked him. Then he laid on his back. A few minutes later, he heard her moving over to him, and he felt something move against his armor. Master Chief looked down his chest and saw Twilight sparkle laying in between his legs, her muzzle resting on his belly, looking up at him smiling. Twilight Sparkle was so cute and to irresistible, so Master Chief stroked her mane...and she moaned. "that was a strange noise to make" the chief thought. He continued stroking her mane, and she made strange, but cute moaning noises. Her hair flowed through his armored fingers like silk. He wanted to know what she felt like, so he took off his armored gloves and stroked her mane again. Her hair was so soft and slick, that it made him shudder with delight. Then twilight sparkle rolled over on her back and exposed her belly. So he rubbed her belly and she giggled "mmmheheheh that tickles Mister Chief!" Chief chuckled, "sorry miss", then he rubbed her belly more gently. "mmm that feels good..." twilight sparkle murmered, her eyes closed. The chief slid his hands lower and lower...and twilight sparkle spread her legs, exposing her most sensetive of regions. When he stroked her loins, she cooed softly and said "I want you mister chief..." Master Chief couldn't resist Twilight Sparkle any longer. So he got up, took off his armor, and spread her legs wide open, and slid his genetically augmented penis into her vagina. the beautiful pony cooed loudly with delight as he slipped in. Her tight lips hugged and slid along his shaft as he mounted her again and again and again. Twilight sparkle moaned loudly and her beautiful mane fluttered with each thrust. Chief lowered his head and nibbled on her breasts, all 8 of them. They tasted like grape candy. Soon, Twilight sparkle reached her climax, and she screamed at the top of her lungs, her scream could be heard for miles. Her pony pussy spilled all over the chief's crotch, but he kept going. After all, spartans were made for superior endurance. After Twilight sparkle orgasmed 777 times, Master chief let out a huge roar and blew his humongous load into her depths. His jizz spilled out the sides of Twilight sparkle's pussy. 10 minutes later, after the orgasm subsided, he rolled on his back beside that beaten pony. "Wake me when you need me" he said. Then he fell asleep. 5 miles from that very spot, Sgt. Pheonix heard somebody scream. He didn't know who made that noise, but he headed towards the direction the sound came from.....[/url]
