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Edited by Li0nSo1ldier11: 2/2/2022 1:20:35 AM
1

Message From the Lost

“Hello? Can anyone hear me? Hello? Damn. As it seems no one is coming to rescue me, I may as well record my story for anyone else trapped in this nightmare. My name is Nikolas Obentraust, and my love has forsaken me.” “I have always had a love for science. I joined Omega group in 1979. I spent a few years researching monkeys, when they activated the Morasko Facility, and the Aether began seeping into our world. I volunteered to be a Aethernaut, but I shouldn’t have. My watch broke last…well, what I can only assume to be a month, and it had told me it had been 75 days. So, I’ve been trapped here at least 100 days. Food and water are not difficult to find, all I have to do is cut a piece off of the gigantic crystals all around me, and then throw it on the ground, where it has had MRE’s and bottled water, and occasionally ammunition for my pistol. I believe I will survive until rescue, which I can only hope is going to come.” “Day…115? I don’t quite know, as I’ve been forced to go off my own internal clock. When I am not fighting for my life against undead hordes, the Dark Aether is a beautiful place. Luminous jellyfish float above the clouds, free from the pain I feel. Crystals, many times the size of me, jut from the earth, illuminating the rotting flesh that surrounds my makeshift home. I would like to note a small ache in my bones, although it most likely comes from the exertion I must put out.” “Day…125. I was horrified today, to find a small rip in the elbow of my suit. I quickly repaired the break, but now I can only pray it was open a small time. The pain in my bones has increased, but seems to have moved to my back.” “Day 130. The pain has increased 5 fold. I can no longer sleep on my back in those precious few hours I have, thereby exposing my neck to whatever prowls this hell. I have moved base, into what I can only assume was an apartment building. My Geiger meter will randomly spike at levels comparable to Chernobyl, then just as suddenly disappear. Sometimes, during the nights of endless undead slaughter, I hear howls, and then the sharp stink of brimstone. I wonder if the two are connected?” “Day 140. I hear gunfire, in the distance, over my own. My radio will sometimes burble to itself. I will try to find this other, this trapped spirit tomorrow.” “Day 141. A voice echoed on my radio! ‘Max is here. Max is here. Does anyone copy?’ I copy, Max. I will find you, and we survive this nightmare together.” “Day 170. I have failed. The rip, it was there far longer than I thought. The Aether has been slowly, and painfully turning my bones in Aetherium crystal. The pain in my back was my spine slowly and surely turning into crystals and puncturing out through my fragile skin. I will die soon. I know this for a fact. And I will become a shambling brain eater, just like the rest. I welcome it. Let. The pain. Stop.”
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  • Ooooh, it's one of them audio logs of a dead guy! I always thought these were cool, mostly in videogames, to have an alternate plot movimg alongside the main. Lotta potential in these, in the context of a greater story. I liked what you did with the bone pain, a good indicator of how far nikolai has fallen, but i would like to see his language support that measurement. If i may offer a tip: try shifting your tone a little bit more for each section of the story. These types of stories work best when you can feel the slow desperation, madness, or whatever change you're trying to emphasize grow with each new section. A good little trick you can do to try to create this gradual descent of your character is to think about what they care about/focus on for each stage of their journey. Your character is a scientist, so, for the starting logs, i'd imagine he's concerned with how/why processes occur, but, as his humanity slowly melts away, he's going start focusing more and more on the physical pain he feels/his lonliness. Oh, and, since you're doing audio logs, you could also throw in little details of the log picking up other noises: gunfire, the calls of strange Aether creatures echoing in the distance, the moans of zombies skulking about. It's a cool way to indirectly show off your setting and prompt your character to talk about different topics.

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