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2/1/2022 10:24:09 PM
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SpaceLadyStacy
SpaceLadyStacy

being harassed by the community old

I’ve said it for years lmao, the majority of the Destiny community is -blam!- garbage. I’ve been -blam!- harassed over the internet for being a girl who plays this game. Verbally and emotionally. And I’ve even gone through multiple cases of stalkers tracking me down from this game. Abused by a LOT of clan members and leaders, and players who didn’t like how good I was at pvp at one point. This is just another horrible incident that someone like you and I have to go through, and I’m sorry it’s like that for you. We all have our own stories. Our own troubles. But I’ve lost complete hope and respect for this community because of what I’ve had to Personally go through. I won’t connect with any of you. Period. Take that how you will.
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  • Sorry you've had a hard time. I personally don't see the problem. As long as you have completed all your house chores, you should be allowed some time to play. 🤷‍♂️

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  • While it's not the same thing as you have faced, I have had a glimpse of the toxicity you are talking about. I have three Guardians. I'm an older guy, but my Warlock is a female because my step-daughter started the character and I took it over when she lost interest in Destiny 2 (partly because of the harassment she got). My other two Guardians are a male Titan and a male Hunter. Because my Warlock is female, it seems quite a number of players think I must be a woman too when I play as her. So unless I speak on my microphone, I will get tons more abuse than on my other two characters. But as soon as I make it plain I'm a guy on the voice channel, the abuse drops right off. And more to the point, the creepy, -blam!- comments, and outright horrible things said (which I couldn't list on this forum) stop almost immediately. You can probably guess what types of comments I'm talking about. All that changed in the abuse level was my gender. It was enlightening and terrifying to see the difference. I hope you continue to play but I see that even your name, SpaceLadyStacy, is probably enough to set off some of the abusers. Even for me, I almost never turn on any comments or sound or check my private messages anymore because I got tired of listening to toxic players. So I agree that gaming communities have a huge ongoing problem when non-male players basically have to eradicate any indications of their gender if they want to reduce the flood of abuse they get. I'd like to see all abuse eliminated but that will probably never happen, unfortunately. Take care.

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  • I’m sorry you had to go through all that “toxic beta masculinity” bullshite Hopefully you’ve found a decent group/clan to run content with 👍

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  • Edited by Sikkunt: 2/2/2022 10:47:29 AM
    "I've been harassed over the internet" Just...ignore them? It's not like they are physically abusing you and are right next to you IRL. That, I can get. But this? You're just doing this because you like to be a victim. It doesn't matter whether you're a male or female, guys just simply shrug it off, because it's borderline not even real. You ain't special, everyone gets the same end of the stick. You can ignore them with the click of a button. But instead you choose to focus on them, let it seep in, and give them what they want. That's on you.

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  • And here is a good example of what SpaceLadyStacy was talking about. Blaming, belittling, etc. "You like to be a victim", you said. What on Earth lead you to make this judgment, and others in your comment? Look up the stats on online harassment. The disparity and sheer viciousness between those who identify as male versus female or non-binary is staggering. Men can get harassed but the others get a torrent of abuse non-stop when playing. It's so bad that almost 60% of female players say they will never play as a female character or reveal their gender by using voice communication because if they do then the abuse gets turned on like a firehose. And as for ignoring them, some of these online abusers will go far out of their way to cyber-stalk female or non-binary players, trying to discover their real identities, place of residence, work, etc. While this can happen to male players it is a far smaller risk than for others. This is the reality that non-male players are describing. It's not 'on them'. It's on toxic gaming culture that is still a big problem.

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  • 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

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  • Edited by Sikkunt: 2/2/2022 7:28:38 PM
    The delusion is real, lol. I blamed the "victim". The difference here is, this victim is self-proclaimed. It's on them. This "online harassment" stuff is so blown out of proportion it's not even funny anymore. Whiteknighting for them doesn't help the issue one bit. But on the matter of males being at a smaller risk: is that the reason why all these radical feminists and idiots are actively trying to cancel every and all males online with even a modicum of masculinity? Don't make me laugh. It's just that males don't report it or get cancelled out of being able to have a voice/opinion. Just [b]ignore them[/b]. Nobody gives a -blam!- what you are. And if they are stalking you so hard as to they want your IRL adress, etc. report them to both the game's, and your local authorities. That's it. I can't help but laugh at women who shout "RA[b]P[/b]E" when some guy kills or t-bags them online. It's a joke, and it overshadows actual real harassment, and it's making the problem worse. That is the reason abuse and harassment isn't taken as seriously anymore. I for one am very doubtful of all these allegations and accusation at this point. Like with Blizzard a while ago, I take these allegations with a grain of salt, and a lot of these turn out to be libel. All the while people who actually need help get skipped over because of these hypersensitive idiots. Actual harassment gets overlooked because of attention-seeking. Micro-agressions and made-up -blam!- like that.

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  • You say the victim is self-proclaimed. What? That doesn't even make sense. They said "I’ve been -blam!- harassed over the internet for being a girl who plays this game. Verbally and emotionally. And I’ve even gone through multiple cases of stalkers tracking me down from this game. Abused by a LOT of clan members and leaders, and players who didn’t like how good I was at PVP at one point." So you're saying that someone who was innocently playing a game who was stalked for real by someone who harassed them in the game is not a victim. That this was somehow 'on them' for daring to play a game. This is a textbook example of being victimized. This isn't in someones' imagination but could have actual dire real-world consequences. Let's give you an example of why women and non-binary people have to take harassment and threats more seriously than men do. There was a survey that asked men what specific strategies they used to protect themselves when walking alone at night versus what women did. Most of the men basically had no idea that they should do anything more than just walk. That there was a possibility of any serious harm coming to them was almost inconceivable. Meanwhile, the women had extensive lists of things, like making sure they had keys handy to use as a weapon, or making sure they weren't wearing shoes they couldn't run in, to avoiding dark areas, or crossing the street when they saw someone ahead, etc, etc, They had too because real harm could come to them by walking alone. Harassment wherever it comes from is something women and non-binary people can't and shouldn't just ignore because they know where it leads too in ways that men don't face on the same level. Open harassment in a game world left unchecked just reinforces to the harassers that it is ok to do it and there's no reason to think that they will magically stop once they are dealing with people in the real world. I hope you consider this.

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  • Edited by Sikkunt: 2/2/2022 8:18:34 PM
    You're talking about IRL situations in which yes, women get harassed more. I'M talking about "online harassment". If you don't live on social media, input every detail about your life on it, and the games you're playing, and you aren't actively seeking attention by claiming and showing that you are indeed a female, you aren't going to have problems. If the situation is as bad as you make it seem, why don't women just simply not admit to being female? Just stay neutral. And if it comes to voice-chat, just claim you're some 14 year old guy with a high voice. IF the environment is as abusive as you say, why not have preventative measures? If people really wouldn't want to get into these situations, they would minimize every possibility of it occurring. I've met and talked to too many of these kinds of people to not have my doubts about this behavior.

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  • Edited by adamndirtyape: 2/2/2022 8:20:05 PM
    About 60% of non-male games already hide their gender. I'm not saying it's possible to eliminate all harassment, though that would be nice, it's never going to happen. Online games are never going to be filled with only nice, respectful players. People get that. But there's a big difference between criticizing someone because they did something dumb in a raid that got their team wiped versus insulting them for just being a woman or non-binary. I saw my step-daughter playing and heard and saw the comments she got, many of which had nothing to do with her gameplay but were speculations about what she was like, what she was wearing, etc. Some of these were quite disgusting. She said it was like if you took the bus to work and every day you had some lowlife sitting next to you commenting about your hair, your looks, or trying to peek down your blouse. Eventually, you would get sick of taking the bus and just buy a car instead. I hope that by talking about harassment we can as a community start to develop a culture of gaming that allows for trash-talk or criticism in a way that doesn't devolve into insults about race or gender or stray into weird inquiries about someone's life or personal looks, morality or habits. Who knows how successful that will be but if women have to hide their identities to play without high levels of harassment then we obviously got a ways to go.

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  • I cannot understand whats drives misogynistic behavior. To me, Its almost like trying to understand why someone would derive pleasure from stabbing or electrocuting a dog. People like that have bigger real life problems as well as mental ones. Bungie, unfortunately does not care about addressing any of the real issues that plague the game and the forums right now. I hope that in the future, the people with this ideology will die off and be forgotten. People who teach this kind of behavior to their children are disgusting human beings in general. The only way to tear this behavior out of society is by the roots. -Sorry you had to listen to my ran, I wish you the best of luck.

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  • What drives it? No repercussion for their actions.

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  • I truly feel for you. My wife plays with me and I make it a point to put "no mic" on any 3 man groups for this reason, So far she hasn't dealt with anything, but as a long time gamer I've seen horrid treatment of others and myself from dark side of this community. There's so many good people, but the bad ones are the most vocal, pessimistic, rude people I've come across outside of old COD games.

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  • You looking for a clan ? PlayStation? Team mindset ? Mic/Headset & DLC ? I couldn’t give a flying fig what race/religion/gender someone might be As long as they’re decent, human beings that can interact with others, relax, help out & just be general good people There’s no racism in my group If you’re interested Gimme a shout

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  • This post resonates with me. I've taken a lot of abuse too for being black. Don't know how they know other than they hear inflections in my voice and assume, or they go look at my profile. It's been years. So I've said this too, that I won't connect with anyone. And whenever I get a group invite I just ignore it now, because the only invites I've ever received lately are so that the moment I get in, they can start shouting the N word. Makes me sad though, because that one cool person who might be just inviting me because they thought I was good will just be ignored. I guess this is what these bigots want -- to isolate us.

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  • Edited by Demon_XXVII: 2/3/2022 5:32:17 AM
    You looking for a clan ? PlayStation? Team mindset ? Mic/Headset & DLC ? I couldn’t give a flying fig what race/religion/gender someone might be As long as they’re decent human beings that can interact with others, relax, help out & just be general good people There’s no racism in my group If you’re interested Gimme a shout

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  • Like -blam!- my friends and I have made jokes about both women and black people we play with but that’s because they’re close friends and they do the same with us. Giving each other shìt constantly is part of the friendship. It’s just not something you do to someone you don’t even know. What’s worse is you sound like you’re pretty chill too. I just don’t get people who are hateful just to be hateful.

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