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12/14/2021 9:53:48 PM
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OffTopic News Report - 12/14/21

A new fad of aging yourself has appeared in OffTopica. Some people share how long they have been living here while others flashback to the “killer clown” experience of ‘16. Man, how the time flies. Breaking news: a child brutally murdered and a man hospitalized with 3rd degree burns. A poor waffle was cooked alive and burned to death while the man who tried to save him suffered severe burns. The man is still recovering as of right now. In sports, a new mascot of OffTopica has risen. Crugg the Stink Bug is now the new, official mascot. Ninjas aren’t cool anymore. Locals complain that they are “over-used” and “stale.” What will replace them? It’s anyones guess. In other news, ham is better than turkey. This is due to turkey’s tendency to be dry while ham is delicious, perfectly cooked, and juicy. This has been ONR (Remember to Hail Hydra!!)
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