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9/24/2010 3:17:03 AM
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The heist: part 1

Omegus leaned against a wall to catch his breath "damn those security drones are fast" he said breathlessly. A pair of drones were smashed against the outer wall of the Bungie main plaza, metal shards and wiring lay everywhere. Another man in incomplete spartan armor cocked an eyebrow at him "They're not that hard to outrun, I just have to run faster than you." he said with hearty smirk. "That joke is older than your mom" Omegus retorted. "Omegus, rascal cut it out." A third spartan yelled behind him. Slowly Chrisian turned to a fourth spartan and began speaking, Rascal mouthing "Thirty three?" behind him. "Wolvers" he asked,"Do you have the stats for the hallway ahead?" "no, The plaza is the furthest anyone has ever gone. Hell, its a miracle we made it past the hammer guard." Wolvers said taping on a wrist datapad. "It looks like we'll have to go ahead blind" Chrisian said with obvious disdain. "Someone has to steal ling lings head, without it bungie can't begin world takeover." Omegus said,"At least that's what those government men said." Cristian turned and made an angry stare "What the hell is up with the recap, now who's going in first?' He said. Wolvers walked into the hall and the other three followed. The hallway was black with dark blue walls covered in the bungie fist logo, a bluish gray glow seemed to emanate from the walls themselves. The smell of feet and rotten eggs accompanied the glowing light, making the scene feel dreary and angry. "I've heard the smell is from the souls they've captured over the years and forced to clean. But it could be they just like it that way." wolvers said, trying to kill the deadly silence in the hallway. His report fell on deaf ears however, as nobody responded. the group continued on down the hall, but it seemed like hours passed. No difference in the hall could be used to judge their progress by. Suddenly wolvers nearly tumbled into a large open pit blocking continuation. Rascal tore a small chunk of plaster from the wall and threw it in the pit. Small slaps against the walls echoed through the dead silence of the hall like an angry ghost. No sound of a floor could be heard. Christian looked over the edge and said "It looks like its idea time." end of part one. (I apologize for it being less than funny, it will get better.) [Edited on 09.23.2010 7:18 PM PDT]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] TES Christian Hahaha, that was sick no lie. I seriously can't wait for parte dos! You have extremely good imagery in your writing which is hard to find![/quote] Ya, I was experimenting with a little more imagery than usual.
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  • Hahaha, that was sick no lie. I seriously can't wait for parte dos! You have extremely good imagery in your writing which is hard to find!
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  • If you want, OP, I can proofread your rough draft and correct any mistakes then send it back to you. =] *waits for Part 2*
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] the panzie man Im too lazy to fix em.[/quote] You also seem to lazy to quote.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] mrT23xx I'm sorry for not contributing to the story but as soon as I saw the name "Omegus" I instantly thought Transformers[/quote] Is that so? ;)
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  • Im too lazy to fix em.
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  • Needs more...Capital letters where needed.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] TheLostGamerTag And then! [u][b]Forum Ninjas[/b][/u]!! THOUSANDS OF THEM!![/quote] Ninjas Ninjas EVERYWHERE
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  • later on in the story....maybe. also- I received consent for use of the names.
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  • And then! [u][b]Forum Ninjas[/b][/u]!! THOUSANDS OF THEM!!
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  • I'm sorry for not contributing to the story but as soon as I saw the name "Omegus" I instantly thought Transformers
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