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9/22/2017 8:19:39 AM
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The Vexing Bard. An Exos Tall Tale (My attempt at a short story)

[Keep in mind please that I did this for fun. This is a tall tale told by my Exo at the tower. He likes to spin up a few tall tales to entertain the locals. Though they are just tall tales, right?] You know, you might call me crazy after hearing this, but I tell you, it’s true! Every bit of it too! I saw it with my own two eyes! Mostly though, I heard it with my own to ear holes. Okay, I’m getting a head of myself. Perhaps it is best if I started at the beginning. The day started out the same old way, gearing up for the same old same thing. A strike assigned to us by Zavala. That day though he had assigned us to check out this place they call “The Tangle” on Nessus, which was, odd, even for Big Blue. Heck, he didn’t seem very sure about it either. He kept looking to Ikora as if questioning her nonverbally as he gave us the quick briefing. A simple get in and go. Nothing my Big Guy and I can’t handle. He with his bubbles and I with my golden touch! I told Blue this too. However no, he was insistent we bring a third. Wolf, our warlock, was out that day, something about robot brothers or robot milk. I can’t really recall. However before I could object, Ikora waves in this Warlock with these weird robes on. Strange looking gal, dome helmet with wires sticking out the back like a pony tail and all, gave me the creeps. Stranger though, the gal had this odd shaped container on her back where normally a gun be slung, never seen anything like it! Apparently, her name was Sonya, and she will be providing aid during the operation. At least that’s what Ikora announced to us. So, after painstakingly agreeing, note there is no saying no to Ikora and Zavala when they both give you their look especially at the same time, we leave the tower and head to the Centaur. On arrival I try to greet the gal. You know, giving her a warm hello, even offering her a funny pun, chicks dig puns right? Get this though? She just looks at me, with that weird helmet gaze and just summons her sparrow and rides off. Matter of a fact, she is quiet throughout the whole trip! I have never met a person in all the Travelers light to not pipe up once when Big Guy mentions his blueberry baked crumpets. Not one! Skipping ahead to the Tangle, right? So we get there and we find the cave we are supposed to investigate. We are just standing in the mouth. Not very wide, about as tall as I am and of course covered in roots and Vex Tech. Nothing out the usual, but little miss silence just waltzes in! At this point I realize that this gal haves no weapons. The only thing she did have was that gourd like bag I mentioned earlier. So I stop her right and am all like, “Now I know you might not be used to this kind of thing, but you can’t silence the Vex to death. You might want a gun or something.” Now this is where things start getting funky. She looks to me, still not saying a word and places her forefinger on the beak tip of my nighthawk as if telling me to be silent, turns, and just walks right in. Now this catches me off guard to the point the Big Guy had to let me know that we were moving again. So we go in after her. Now inside this place was nothing I have ever seen. Now I don’t mean to brag, I’ve seen a lot of places and a lot of planets, though off the back I knew that this place was different. It had this feeling. To set the scene, imagine a dark cave lit with the glow from crystal blue waters to the point the ceiling seem to be water itself. It would be a place one might consider going sightseeing! That is, if it wasn’t for the strange vex bots staring back at us from the shadows. Speaking of shadow bots, as soon as I saw them, I almost jumped strait out of my exoskeleton! I would have shot at them too if it wasn’t for miss silent stopping me. That’s right, the warlock stopped me. She stopped me from shooting Vex! Now I was thrown for a loop even further, just you are perhaps now, but she pointed at them after she did so in time for me to notice something. So you know how those robots have like the single red glowing eyes. Well, these things were purple! That’s right, purple. Also they were still like statues. Which, yes of course they tend to do that, but these guys were something different. So we continue in deeper into the cave until we get to this huge circular room. Now at this point I am not sure what to think. My mind set before hand was exactly what Zavala was talking about during the briefing. Get in, check out the place, and get out. Obviously though I knew at this point that there was something more to it now. I wanted to know why this chick was here by this point. I go to confront her. She’s now at the center of this large room and I see her sit down the strange bag on the floor. Before I can say a word, the place starts to shake! Suddenly these vex just pop out of everywhere and start coming towards us! First off Big Guy pops his bubble as he does, and I start popping off shots with my good trusty Beyond here. To mine and Big Guys astonishment, our rounds just bounce off them! The Big Guy even manages to actually hurt his hand trying to punch one! I tell you what too, nothing can walk after being punched from my Titan buddy and nothing can hurt hi, nothing! So now we are here surrounded by enclosing murderous robots with glowing purple monocles and I turn to miss silence to tell her to run! . . . . .and there she was, sitting there with this strange wooden contraption perched on her shoulder. Her helmet was now off and I could see her face. Human, with beautiful cropped hair and eyes that glowed the same shade as the Vex. At this moment things seem to slow as she raises this thing that looked like a slim strait bow and she runs it across the strings on the wooden contraption. Music, she starts playing music, and . . . . It’s beautiful. Big Guy taps me on my shoulder once again and I look around. The Vex are frozen in place and are now gazing at her. There we were, standing in the middle of a sweet melody, performed on, what I assume is, some sort of instrument from the golden age, and surrounded by purple eyed vex. Then, one by one the vex start making a note. Some a tune that’s like a bell, another like a cord being stroked, some others like a clap sound or some sort of bang. The next thing I know it Big Guy and I are being treated to a Musical Display from likes I have never thought Possible! Now I can see by the look on your face that you don’t believe this old Exo. I mean who would believe such a story? Purple eyed Vex preforming a musical number led by a beautiful eyed Guardian? Why you have to be kidding me! There is no way any of this is true. Well let me finish with this. You see what I got here in this gourd shaped black bag was a gift from said guardian. Inside, as you can see is a very odd wooden contraption. Perhaps if you don’t believe me, perhaps I could give you a taste of what you missed? Now I can’t give you a full display like the pro did, but she did teach me a thing or two before she told me farewell. So sit back, relax, and let the music speak to you. As it did to me, Big guy, and those strange robots. Perhaps then we will make a believer of you yet!

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