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Edited by Cacoastrum:
9/22/2017 9:13:13 PM
19
New Class: Lawyer!
The hive trespassed on what was clearly American soil when they claimed the moon. In fact, EVERY foreign species is trespassing on territory that has been staked and built on by humanity. These species have demonstrated at least rudimentary forms of government and/or hierarchy; thus, it falls to us, Earth's last (legal) defenders, to rise to the occasion and take back (through class-action lawsuits) what's ours!
HOO RAH!
Er, I mean, SUE RAH!
Whoever Rah is.
If you have a grievance, please list it below, and one of our attorneys (me) will reply.
(I just watched Bee Movie)
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THEY TOOK OUR JERBS!😠
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5 RepliesThere are mobs of protesting Cabal blocking the road, and I can't get through. I'm just trying to get home, and it's starting to become terribly irksome. Will I get charged with murder if I decide to remove their spines?
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3 RepliesI would like to file a grievance with the owner of the farm. I feel that all guardians were mislead to fight for humanity. We were told that we could make friends with a chicken, possibly hinting that we might get said chicken as a pet. I think we put in a lot of our own time fighting off alien races, using our own ships and covering all fuel costs between planets, only to find out that cayde 6 seems to be the only one who got a pet chicken.
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1 ReplyI'd like to sue shotgunners for [redacted] me every time they kill me. It's kind of scaring me that women do it too
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1 Reply*The Judge reaches for their gavel* Lord Shaxx: OH I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU DO WITH THAT!
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1 ReplyI'd like to file a lawsuit against one Randel T. Vandel for trespassing on private property. He and his roaming gang of pikes are clearly aware of their violations yet continue to roam on my land. I'm sending my ghost with documents and evidence.
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2 RepliesWill you please take on The Architects, and reduce the occupational hazards of being a Guardian. I dont mind getting killed by aliens, but when a wall can one-shot me, well...
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4 RepliesNot only did the Fallen walker destroy property, it landed on my pet turtle. Can I sue for additional damages? Like maybe four or five of those large piles of glimmer we keep transmatting away?
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2 RepliesYou mean a mindless bottom-feeding species that doesn't know how to do anything except run up to you and scream in your face while scratching out your eyeballs? They're called Thralls, but I guess you can call them Lawyers if you want.
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2 RepliesAs a lawyer who plays Destiny, I will happily take on this action. I require $1,000,000 on account, my Patreon account is www.patreon.com/shyster 👍🤑
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2 RepliesI'd like to sue the traveler, I bought this house with a guarantee that no lights would be placed within view of my windows, and that thing is hella bright. It has no regard for city ordinances!!
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3 RepliesSheriff hands Crota court summons. Crota shows up and loses case, voluntarily takes all the Hive off Earth and moon. Crotas End raid patched out of game.
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3 RepliesLU BU SHU YEU!
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1 ReplyEdited by Kolacheater: 9/22/2017 3:33:23 AMThose darn fallen dropped a walker in my yard. I’d like to file a lawsuit for disturbing the peace and blowing up my garage, as well as shattering all the glass in the surrounding area with the impact of the walker
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1 ReplyI had the vex try to build a shrine without my permission and they ignore me when i yell at then to stop and even TRIED TO KILL ME, they also leak.....
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4 RepliesHoly hell. What did I just read?
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This would be hilarious to see animated
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1 ReplyThis actually made me laugh. Bravo!
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Oh my god
