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11/21/2005 2:53:32 AM
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So You've Decided to Become a Mod

That’s right! It’s [u]Douglas Brown’s Mod School[/u] This isn’t one of those other “Get-Respect-Fast” schemes, this is [b]fo’ real[/b]. Send around 5 or 6 easy payments of something in the range of, say, 30 bucks for my [i]amazing[/i] instructional pamphlet regarding developing the interesting career of [u]Forum Moderator[/u]. My pamphlet is what you would consider a “How Too” guide for gaining respect from skeptical members. You’ll go from unknown to an almighty moderator in “a coupla months flat”. The pamphlet is chock fulla tips for new moderators. It contains the basics, such as: [*] Creating a good catch phrase that will make you immortal. [*] How to frequent all forums, without appearing to move from your favorite. [*] How to get on the Webmasters “good” side. [*] Picking “favorites” Then it goes into more complex things, many of which resemble: [*] Ghost editing, perma-banning, and covering your sinful tracks. [*] The banning prod’s “special” features [*] Ignoring weird invitations to groups, or, better yet, how to write an [b]incredibly[/b] long and detailed response explaining why the person is so richly deserving of a beating. [*] How to [i]really[/i] stir things up in HFCS. [i][b][u] BUT WAIT!!!!![/i][/b][/u] Act in the next couple of days and you’ll get my special [u]Douglas Brown’s Top Ten Things the Master Mods Did to Get Where They Are Now[/u] for a minimal extra fee. We have testimonials from actual moderators! The names have been changed to protect the forum moderators' identity.* [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] “Frank” This product has changed my life! I was the new guy that nobody knew and everybody hated. The other mods pushed me around and treated my like a new Davester. Don't even get me started on what Achronos made me do. Finally, I got this product, and now look at me! The other guys come to [b]me[/b] for advise! If I don't wanna give it to them, they thank me anyways! Thanks [u]Douglas Brown’s Mod School[/u][/quote] [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] "Edmund" [b]Douglas Brown's How to Be a Mod was a surefire plan for success![/b][i]..what plan? all you did was tie me to a chair and...[/i] [b]I used to be a super Zero, but now I'm a Super Hero![/b] [i]...hit me with a rubber chicken, by the way that line was..[/i] [b]And I heartily,[/b] [i]... really corny, and you don't really...[/i] [b]excitedly,[/b] [i]...think anyone's buying this do you?[/i] [b]recommend this to anyone attempting to be a mod.[/b] [/quote] [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] "Thomas" [i]Before, my life was a dumpo. Everyone flamed me... hell, even [b]I[/b] wanted to kick me. But then I tried Douglas Brown's awesome Moderator Pamphlet! Now my Ban Hammer is pfheared, my avatar awesome, and best of all, it only cost me MY ONLY CHILD! [b]Thankyou, Douglas Brown.[/b] Now I can rest in peace, and the dumb flamers can rest in pieces![/i][/quote] See?! It's great! Buy now! Don’t you [i]need[/i] it?! [Edited on 11/21/2005]
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  • What is your meaning?!
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  • [i]14 days my brethren.[/i]
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  • A whole-hearted thanks goes out to Jim and TGP.
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  • If we are talking about Bungie, how can you get on the webmaster's good side?
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  • Coerced - er, Paid Endorsement [b]Douglas Brown's How to Be a Mod was a surefire plan for success![/b][i]..what plan? all you did was tie me to a chair and...[/i] [b]I used to be a super Zero, but now I'm a Super Hero![/b] [i]...hit me with a rubber chicken, by the way that line was..[/i] [b]And I heartily,[/b] [i]... really corny, and you don't really...[/i] [b]excitedly,[/b] [i]...think anyone's buying this do you?[/i] [b]recommend this to anyone attempting to be a mod.[/b] [Edited on 11/21/2005]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] deathstrike91 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Great_Pretender [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Douglas Brown Would anyone like to add "True Stories" of thier own about success with the pamphlet?[/quote] [i]Before, my life was a dumpo. Everyone flamed me... hell, even [b]I[/b] wanted to kick me. But then I tried Douglas Brown's awesome Moderator Pamphlet! Now my Ban Hammer is pfheared, my avatar awesome, and best of all, it only cost me MY ONLY CHILD! [b]Thankyou, Douglas Brown.[/b] Now I can rest in peace, and the dumb flamers can rest in pieces! -TGP-[/i][/quote] *SMACK*[/quote] No no, like this: [url=http://media.putfile.com/smack53][b]*SMACK*[/b][/url]
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  • hehehe. This whole thread tickeled my funny bone.
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  • I damned well better be getting a percentage!
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Great_Pretender [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Douglas Brown Would anyone like to add "True Stories" of thier own about success with the pamphlet?[/quote] [i]Before, my life was a dumpo. Everyone flamed me... hell, even [b]I[/b] wanted to kick me. But then I tried Douglas Brown's awesome Moderator Pamphlet! Now my Ban Hammer is pfheared, my avatar awesome, and best of all, it only cost me MY ONLY CHILD! [b]Thankyou, Douglas Brown.[/b] Now I can rest in peace, and the dumb flamers can rest in pieces! -TGP-[/i][/quote] *SMACK*
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Douglas Brown Would anyone like to add "True Stories" of thier own about success with the pamphlet?[/quote] [i]Before, my life was a dumpo. Everyone flamed me... hell, even [b]I[/b] wanted to kick me. But then I tried Douglas Brown's awesome Moderator Pamphlet! Now my Ban Hammer is pfheared, my avatar awesome, and best of all, it only cost me MY ONLY CHILD! [b]Thank you, Douglas Brown.[/b] Now I can rest in peace, and the dumb flamers can rest in pieces! -TGP-[/i] [Edited on 11/21/2005]
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  • Would anyone like to add "True Stories" of thier own about success with the pamphlet?
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  • lol. That's funny. Pretty clever.
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  • haha... oh' so much inside humor...
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  • I would have said that made my day, but some good-ole spading already did.
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  • Isn't this just wishful thinking. **sighs and stares dreamily into space**
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] cmkrcs1 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] CabKiller This is getting out of hand. Non-mods making How-To about mods? What hath ye world cometh to?[/quote] It's seems we are unfamiliar with sarcasm.[/quote] So are [i] you. [/i] [Edited on 11/20/2005]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] cmkrcs1 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] CabKiller This is getting out of hand. Non-mods making How-To about mods? What hath ye world cometh to?[/quote] It's seems we are unfamiliar with sarcasm.[/quote] Sarcasm is a lie. Watch Stargate:Mulityishishe Theory, episode.10 pt.11G. It shows this. Stupid...MOM, WHERE IS MY TWINKIE?!?!?!?
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] CabKiller This is getting out of hand. Non-mods making How-To about mods? What hath ye world cometh to?[/quote] It's seems we are unfamiliar with sarcasm.
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  • *Eats twinkie* Only a plepholem, like the one featured in Stargate:Atlantis episode. 145 pt.2 B, would buy THAT!!!! HEY MOM, GET ME ANOTHER TWINKIE!!!! [Edited on 11/20/2005]
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  • *shoots whoop ass in the ass (ironic, huh?)* [Edited on 11/20/2005]
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  • Wha....why am I being shot at?
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  • This is getting out of hand. Non-mods making How-To about mods? What hath ye world cometh to?
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Dakoth *shoots douglas's body* *sees dogbert* *runs like hell*[/quote] U COME BACK HERE U LITTLE -blam!-!!! *whips Dakoth* CRACK!!!
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  • *scrambles madly for phone*
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  • *shoots douglas's body* *sees dogbert* *runs like hell*
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  • *shoots Douglas*
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