JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

Service Warning
We are continuing to investigate issues of players encountering BEAVER error codes when attempting to play Destiny. Stand by for updates.

Community

Discuss what we all have in common.

6/26/2010 4:02:16 PM
28

The Meaning of Bungie. The Conspiracy. And Jimmy Johns.

So, we all know Bungie has a plan right? Do we [i]really[/i] know what the plan is? Well, I finally found out. It involves a renegade Jimmy Johns employee. We [i]all[/i] know Bungie [b]loves[/b] Jimmy Johns. Well, The Jimmy Johns employee infiltrated the deep, secret ridden, cave that is Bungie Studios. What he found was definitely shocking. It started off as a normal day. Sun was shining bright, birds were chirping, Urk was typing, civilians blaming Stosh, and Jerome swinging away. A destined Jimmy Johns employee, we will call him Shishka, was cooking away a sandwich which would reveal the secret of the organization known to millions as "Bungie." Shishka hopped in his delivery car, and drove to his future. He showed the package to Jerome and passed the seemingly fail safe security. He was walking by the conference room located conveniently in the first room on the left. No one saw him. Lucky. Fate. He hid outside the room and eavesdropped on the secrets being unraveled inside that room. Prepare to be horrified. He ran to me... Stunned. He was pale. He heard things. He started talking. I grew frightened too. Here is his story... He was outside the room. He was hearing Joe Tung and Luke Smith talking. They were worried. Their plan was coming quicker than expected... But first, you know how the company name "Bungie" came around? You know they pun? No. You don't. I do. It turns out that Noah, yes the one that built the Ark, had bungie'd from the clouds onto a pre-made ark. Jason Jones made up this hilarious play on words... But it had a deeper meaning. Well, back to Shishka's story. The plan... "It happened" Joe exclaimed. "No! It couldn't have! We aren't ready!" Luke cried. "We have a plan" Joe reassured Luke. You may be asking... What happened?! Well, with some background research and some inside knowledge, I found it. While Urk was raiding the freezer, looking for some some Coddle. He slipped. And Ling-Lings jar fell off of the third shelf to the hard linoleum floor below. It shattered. Trying to be funny, Marty bet him $100.00 to drink the fluids off of the now soaked floor. Urk was having a good day, but he was short on money after spending it on the Highlander reenactment sign ups. So he pressed his lips to the floor, and vacuumed up the liquid, completely forgetting the commandments. Now, most of you don't know this but the destiny states: "[i]DANGER! Do not juxtapose Tijuana Mama with Ling Ling! When the jar containing Ling Ling finally breaks, as it must, Bungie will make a sequel to Gnop![/i]" So it began. Bungie planned to always make Gnop! 2. It would be made to fund the plan. But they weren't ready. It had to happen. So it started, they used technology far ahead of its time. Stuff better than the tools used in Halo: Reach. They worked day and night on Gnop! 2. They are still working on it now. "What are they trying to fund?" You might ask. Well, remember the "Bungie joke"? They are trying to create a second ark. One completely covered in septagons, because we all know only Bungie can be withing 5 feet of the septagon, let alone over 54,000 of them. Why are they building an ark? Simple, cleanse. Get rid of all the spam in the flood, all the people asking for Recon in the Halo 3 forum, and the people who want the BR in Reach. You may know this project as "[url=http://bungieaerospace.com/]Project Aerospace.[/url]" The latin of "Project Aerospace" describes it all. "Per Audacia Ad Astra" When translated to English, then Japanese to English 43 times, then to a rare form of Portugese, says the shocking story... "Flood the Earth, Build an Ark, Again." A bit more detail on the plans of the Ark. You know the weekly update? You know the seemingly "dead" animals? Porky? Space Squirrel? It's a cover up. People would question the missing critters. But if they were to "die"... Well. They are rounding up the creatures of rare existence to take with them. The Webmaster was long assigned to command the vessel. Power? The almighty Disembodied Soul. It is the perfect plan. But We learned. You might be worried. I don't blame you. Run. Run while you can. The plan is nearly completed. I haven't seen Shishka since the adventure. It's time I leave know also. More info: You may ask "Why septagons?" Well, remember that thread about the screw? What keeps wood together? Yeah. Screws. You know all the people who agreed it is the new name? They weren't just members. Forum Ninjas. What are ninjas? They hide things. They are good at what they do. What are they trying to hide? Bungie's games: The flood: Takes over other colonies, wiping them out. The covenant: The Ark of the Covenant? It was in the bible, so was Noah's Ark. Also, for all the people asking, I'm just calling my friend Shishka to protect his identity. [Edited on 07.01.2010 9:23 AM PDT]
Add more answer options

Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] relliK42 Awesome story.[/quote] Sarcasm?
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • Awesome story.
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • More information was added for your safety.
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Klumpmeister Jimmy Johns? What about the addictive chinese food?![/quote] It was Jimmy Johns this time.
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • The Superintendent will help members of the 7th Column overcome the great flood, and then...step 7 will be complete.
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] westpointusma15 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] xLAS3RP01NT3Rx Riveting tale, chap. No but really, its a cool story... I can't wait for Gnop! 2, I've beem waiting since before I was born...[/quote] Halo:Reach, the Beta, and the gameplay trailer are all fake. On September 14, inside our Halo:Reach boxes...will be a Gnop! 2 disc.[/quote]How dare they? I'll kill them all! But we need to formulate a plan... one does not simply walk into Bungie. [Edited on 06.27.2010 6:11 PM PDT]
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] xLAS3RP01NT3Rx Riveting tale, chap. No but really, its a cool story... I can't wait for Gnop! 2, I've beem waiting since before I was born...[/quote] Halo:Reach, the Beta, and the gameplay trailer are all fake. On September 14, inside our Halo:Reach boxes...will be a Gnop! 2 disc.
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • Jimmy Johns? What about the addictive chinese food?!
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] KillLotz This is the reason I wake up at 3 PM.[/quote] I can't tell if that is good or bad...
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • Wait... wut?
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • This is the reason I wake up at 3 PM.
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] xLAS3RP01NT3Rx Riveting tale, chap. No but really, its a cool story... I can't wait for Gnop! 2, I've beem waiting since before I was born...[/quote] You don't want it to come.
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • Riveting tale, chap. No but really, its a cool story... I can't wait for Gnop! 2, I've beem waiting since before I was born...
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Boss of OWNAGE [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] cRaZyT101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xd00999 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Boss of OWNAGE "Per Audacia Ad Astra" [i]When translated to English, then Japanese to English 43 times, then to a rare form of Portugese, says the shocking story...[/i] "Flood the Earth, Build an Ark, Again." [/quote]A great line.[/quote] "Flood Terra, construir uma arca, de novo." Is this the portuguese translation? Or have I mistaken?[/quote] A rare form of Portuguese. I am one of the last 5 who speak it. One of them is my split personality.[/quote]Still, it is an epic sentence. Kudos to you.
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] cRaZyT101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xd00999 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Boss of OWNAGE "Per Audacia Ad Astra" [i]When translated to English, then Japanese to English 43 times, then to a rare form of Portugese, says the shocking story...[/i] "Flood the Earth, Build an Ark, Again." [/quote]A great line.[/quote] "Flood Terra, construir uma arca, de novo." Is this the portuguese translation? Or have I mistaken?[/quote] A rare form of Portuguese. I am one of the last 5 who speak it. One of them is my split personality. [Edited on 06.26.2010 5:14 PM PDT]
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xd00999 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Boss of OWNAGE "Per Audacia Ad Astra" [i]When translated to English, then Japanese to English 43 times, then to a rare form of Portugese, says the shocking story...[/i] "Flood the Earth, Build an Ark, Again." [/quote]A great line.[/quote] "Flood Terra, construir uma arca, de novo." Is this the portuguese translation? Or have I mistaken?
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] JDO The Great [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xd00999 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Boss of OWNAGE "Per Audacia Ad Astra" [i]When translated to English, then Japanese to English 43 times, then to a rare form of Portugese, says the shocking story...[/i] "Flood the Earth, Build an Ark, Again." [/quote]A great line.[/quote] Agreed. Although now I wonder, what does that latin phrase actually mean? Anyone know?[/quote] Loosely "To the stars boldly."
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Xd00999 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Boss of OWNAGE "Per Audacia Ad Astra" [i]When translated to English, then Japanese to English 43 times, then to a rare form of Portugese, says the shocking story...[/i] "Flood the Earth, Build an Ark, Again." [/quote]A great line.[/quote] Agreed. Although now I wonder, what does that latin phrase actually mean? Anyone know?
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • Wait, isn't Shishka Chad Armstrong? Anyway, nice read none the less.
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Boss of OWNAGE "Per Audacia Ad Astra" [i]When translated to English, then Japanese to English 43 times, then to a rare form of Portugese, says the shocking story...[/i] "Flood the Earth, Build an Ark, Again." [/quote]A great line.
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • I read that aloud, for listening pleasure and I still did not get it... Why would you write that?
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • Win. ^_^
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] xIguana117x Too long, did not read.[/quote] Well Iguanas are lazy... ~TGW
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • Too long, did not read.
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] ApocalypeX This is a really cool story.[/quote] Bro?
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • <3
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

preload icon
preload icon
preload icon
You are not allowed to view this content.