Warlock: Really? Landfall? Like...I mean even a basic union electrician knows this is an OSHA violation. So I'm covered in electricity but screw me being grounded. Well might as well ground myself to this guardian across the map here...oh nvm that's nerfed too! What the hell Bungie?! EVEN Emperor damn palpatine's lightning could reach across a damn Death Star! Raiden from Mortal Combat could strike you from behind while looking at you in the front! Zues could shoot lightning from the damn sky! But nooo I'm a Fisher Price version of a godly lightning personification who's range has be nerfed to the equivalent of me playing patty cake with my enemies. Bill Cosby with his staticky wool sweater had better static electricity range than me! My jump sucks too! I hover too damn much! I land faster if you kill me during my 30 minute free fall! So if you see me jump behind a wall and I have an 😵H sh!t look on my face like I jumped to a bunch of guns aiming at me PLEASE shoot me down! The match will be over by the time I reach the ground on my own. Astrocyte Verse is basically a snow globe confused for an exotic. Hunters: Ok so my Bungie was saying that everyone wanted to be me to win at crucible matches. Well duh! I'm a hunter! I hunt stuff...you know? With a gun? Why wouldn't you pick me? Makes sense right? Also, I would like to thank the folks at WD-40 for assisting Bungie at greasing my trip mines to NOT STICK TO PEOPLE! Whatever, I got my arch blade...what? That was nerfed too!? What kind of hunter am I? Dogg the bounty hunter with a Hawaiian accent chasing dope heads with a mullet? Or perhaps the venom hunter guy from the British show who cried like a girl after getting bit by bullet ants? (Youtube it). I have the SLOOooWEST RECOVERY! I needed that boost from the Arch Blade! Oh, nvm my throwing knife is now on fire 🔥 yay!...cool bar trick for the ladies and EXCEPT one tiny little problem...THE EARTH IS DESTROYED! I've heard the Cabals have a bar, but honestly caBALS? Ever heard of sausage parties? Can you imagine a Cabals female? Thank god Cayde throws some awesome house parties though. Titan: The least used class, the dumbest super (like John Travolta's movie bubble boy dumb) defender bubble. I'm a Titan! I'm not afraid of germs! Plus, honestly my exotics are ugly; twilight Garrison with its porta-John blue color looks like I'm wearing a portal John! Or exploded out of one and I'm stuck wearing it! We needed that sun breaker buff! We needed that op hammer of death! Honestly all we could do was pop bubbles, and fist pump ✊ and cause havoc like a drunken Jersey Guido! Oh shut up that we can skate across the map; we are the BIGGEST target 🎯 of any class! Imagine a Titan, a BIG CLUNKY Titan crouching, being sneaky while looking like 300 pound linebacker. Exactly! Well, I hear my over shield was nerfed! Nice! Well good luck dealing with side arms suckers! I was the exterminator but noooo, "I want a vaping "get gut" bro, running around like Yosemite Sam hunting me Mr. Titan!" At least with my over shield you saw me coming from a mile a way for you to do something about it! It was fair! Can we Titans get a better mentor than Zavalla? He's been all uptight since we made fun of his bald head looks like a dude we found on this bottle of an ancient cleaning agent with a bald head. Dude has no chill...