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Edited by Skyrat: 2/19/2017 3:33:00 AM
7

Paradox 1

Sorry for being a few weeks late guys. I've been really busy with school and that can slow me down. I will try to post once a week. Anyways hope you enjoy Paradox! PROLAUGE: Rin walked into The Observatory where The Speaker resides. She fixed her dirty blond hair and readjusted the brown leather jacket that resembled the one her father used to wear on occasion. She stared at The Traveler and smiled as she walked towards it. She hopped on the ledge and continued to look at The Traveler. Right next to The Traveler was the Moon. The moonlight glistened onto the many skyscrapers and buildings within The Last City and into her dark brown eyes. She then looked downwards at her jeans, brown leather boots then at the amazing fall she dared to take. The speaker walked down the steps and to her while asking, "So you reviewed your fathers will?" Rin nodded. The Speaker then stood right next to her, "Then you understand the risks of this." Rin nodded," I do" The Speaker then said,"I think it's time I told you the whole story..." ************************************************************************************************************* 53 Years ago: The Cosmodrome, a deserted wasteland of rust, old colony ships, torn down highways, piles of rusty old cars lined up row by row. The grass was yellow and the ground had remains of blotches snow scattered across the land, cars and of coarse the giant rusted metal wall that separated the Last City from the abandoned waste land. James found it rather peaceful to be laying down on one of the rusted cars as the breeze kept him cool in his long sleeved light gray tunic that has black sleeves that have 2 dark gray arrows at his side of his shoulders pointing downward that stopped at the start of his forearm. His black leather gauntlets that where black chrome metal plated arounds his forearm, covering his knuckles, and the top part of his fingers that cut off right before his anger nails. His tunic also had 2 black stripes on the right side starting at his collar bone then wrapping under his armpit, back around to his shoulder blade and then to where it started. His pants where black denim with black chrome metal shin guards, black chrome metal quadricep guards, and black chrome metal calf guard. His belt was black leather with sniper bullets attached to it with a small pouch for his hand cannon (Which both of his weapons laid at his family’s apartment). Finally wore black boots that where gray laced. He could hear the Fallen skiffs passing through making their occasional warping sounds. He then heard the roars of a nearby crew as a zap of a Wire Rife flew over him. “Shit!” He mumbles to himself as he did a front tuck role and sat in front of the rusted car. He glared at the door that led him inside the wall where his metal staff was located. James looked back at the approaching Fallen. He could either run it and risk being shot or wait them to come to him. “Screw it…” James sighed as he ran quickly through the snowy plains. James then heard the zap of a Captains Wire rifle again, missing him by a inch. He then slide into the door, snatching his staff and slamming the door shut. He breathed heavily as he stared at the puddle that was down below him that was in the stone. His black hair has signs of sweat that slowly developed. His brown eyes that had hints of blue in them reflected in the water. He gripped his staff and rushed down a rusted hallway that had a 50 foot drop below it. The old metal squealed below his feet. He could see the shadows of the pursuing House of Devils Fallen coming after him. He looked below him and saw a group of them rushing to the red pipes that suspend the wall. He ran through the rusted hallway and to a dark metal balcony that overlooked the entire interior of the metal wall. The large red pipes upheld the wall and he could see multiple metal rusted staircases that had scrap metal laying around. Metal panels covered the side making sure there wasn’t any exposure that could mess with the wall. Large white lights shined down upon him and the rest of the interior of the wall. James could see the bridge that he needed to in order to reach The Divide. As he turned to a metal gate that prevented access to the bridge through a minor walkway, a group of Dregs, Vandals and Captains dropped from the room of the wall and in front of him. James turned around to see if there was a escape route, but another group of Fallen climbed up and onto the balcony. James sighed as he activated a blade on his staff. He aimed the tip of the blade at the Captain as he surveyed his surroundings. James then egressed at the Captain, spinning his staff so the bottom of it was now facing the Captain. He then did a backspin, stabbing the Captain in the chest. He pulled the bad out as the Captain fell to the ground. James then sliced off the Captains head while returning to his first position of aggression. 2 Vandals then aggressed him. James flipped the staff in a horizontal position and pushed the Vandals back and sliced his blade at their heads, cutting them off and followed up with a low strike to the Dregs legs, cutting them off with another follow up to their chests cutting them waist down. 2 more Captains rushed him from behind as James rested the blade on his shoulder. The Captain lunged at James to only get his head split down the middle. The next Captain lunged as James spun to his right while swinging his staff to slice the Alien into 2 perfectly cut pieces. James aimed the bottom of his staff at the group of Dregs and Vandals letting fire spew from it like a Flame thrower, burning the Vandals to a crisp. James deactivated the flames and slammed his staff onto the metal base letting a electrical current flow to the Dregs, shocking them to death. James looked at his clothing, it was now covered in the silver blood of the fallen. He ran his fingers through his hair to only create 2 distinct silver streaks off blood in his hair on accident. He then returned to the gate and lifted it up. He looked to his left and saw a old Khvostov-7G-02. He hated using guns, but his gut told him he had no choice. There was no way he would make it out alive with just his staff. He then smirked, he grabbed the Khvostov and strapped it to his back. James then walked down the wide corridor and into the dark abyss.

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  • Great job. Aside from a few spelling errors and a few phrases repeated in sentences right next to each other, which are common and easily overlooked mistakes, the story is amazing. Enjoying the feel of the characters so far and can't wait to figure out more about how they operate

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