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Edited by A Spooky Reaper:
12/23/2016 7:32:42 PM
30
I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but...
...instead I bought a raffle ticket for a brand new car. When I got home, I explained to my dad what I did and he beat the crap out of me. But the next day, when my dad woke up and opened the door, outside our house was a brand new car. We all cried, especially me, because the car was from the electric company. They were there to cut off the electricity, my dad beat the crap out of me again.
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Yeah my mum gave me a cow to sell. She was not pleased when I came home with beans.
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4 RepliesI must be the only person who doesn't find this guy funny
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Not bad
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3 RepliesWhat did he beat? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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I'm dead😂😂😂
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2 RepliesDear lord..why did I laugh at this
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I am a terrible person for laughing
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Lmao. Very good...very good indeed.
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10 RepliesWas the electric company's name "Giant"?
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That's the Christmas spirit
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I love these Christmas stories😘🎁🎄
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1 ReplyCopying shit from Facebook now are we? Somewhere there's originality in this forum
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Now that's a Merry Christmas
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5 Replieswhat is this? /r/jokes? one does not simply reuse the most over used jokes on the internet.
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... k.
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Thank you to whoever let me copy this What if everything you ever wanted... WAS TO KICK SHIT IN THE FACE!? FOREVER! THEN YOU NEED PEREGRINE GREAVES!!! PUT THESE SWEET-ASS LEGS ON YOUR TITAN AND YOU WILL F***ING DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES. THEY ARE GEMS. YOU WILL LOOK GLAMOROUS LIKE A STYLISH LADY WHILE YOU KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO FLYING OUT OF THEIR ASSHOLE! YOUR LEGS ARE BEDAZZLED! BEDAZZLED WITH THESTRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS IF KODIAK BEARS GAVE ZERO F***S ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO SWEET JUMPKICKS! YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE ANDTHAT CHILD WILL F***ING EXPLODE BECAUSE YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH! YOUR SON WILL DIE! YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! YOU WILL TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE AND YOU WILL MASSACRE PEOPLE! YOU WILL F*** THEM UP! YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS! DENIED! GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE F*** OUT OF HERE! YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS AND CAUSE THEM TO WEEP RADIANT TEARS! YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS...CAREFULLY.... YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES, DIVING INTO THEIR NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AS SHIT AND MURDERING THEM WITH YOUR ENERGY LEGS! IT IS YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO FU*** THAT GU---wait, shit...THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU GODDAMMIT WHY THE F*** DID YOU DO THAT!? YOU WILL RUIN YOUR K/D LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THE SWEET, SWEET SOUND OF INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE AND IT WILL BE WORTH IT WHEN YOU KNOCK A BLADEDANCER THE F*** OUT BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM! EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED AS YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S FAGGY GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED AND HIS FAMILY FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS TO TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF TEXAAAAAAS! PEREGRINE GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES! [/spoiler]
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Oh yeah Mr. Krabs.
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S10/10
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1 ReplyEpic ending.
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Iv'e seen this before, but I still lol at it every time I read it ^-^
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I lol'd a little too hard. Never heard this before
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5 RepliesEdited by Tomnipotent: 12/24/2016 1:14:55 AMI cringed before i even entered the thread... this same joke has been a highly liked comment in literally EVERY viral facebook video for the entire length of 2016. The amount of people hearing it for the first time in this thread is pretty shocking tbh.
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He should beat you again for not taking the electric company's car to escape that second beating.
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1 ReplyIs your name Jack
