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5/27/2010 6:56:13 PM
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Two Days. A Story of Redemption. [UPDATED CHAPTER 4]

NOTE: I will be posting more and more chapters of this story based on popularity until it is finished. Please leave comments about what you thought of it! And keep them clean and civil! No need to be mean :D VOICE OVER COMMING SOON! [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_pzIWp5kCA]Here is a new song to set the mood[/url] CHAPTER 1 DAY 2: 4 HOURS TO DEADLINE. He stood still. The street light hanging above him coated his body with a ominous glow. Looking down at the package in hand, he loosened his grip upon it. His mind was telling him "you're going to die". After numerous deep breaths he tightened his grip on the package and continued onward; completely oblivious to what lays ahead. . . . . . 2 DAYS EARLIER. Fear overcame his mind. Holding the two cubed shaped objects in hand; he told himself "just one last roll". The spectators that surrounded him stood in silence. His legs grew week, his stomach churned. It was his time. His time to roll. With all of his determination, and all of his will he tossed the dice! From one end to the next he built anticipation, his adrenalin pumping. A spectator screamed "if they land on his numbers, he wins half a million" They stopped rolling. He is on the verge of tears from the anticipation. The dealer screamed out "two fives". Exactly what he had hoped for! The crowd erupted into shouts of applause. The man climbed the table and began to dance. Two giant looking men grabbed him. One arm on each one of their hands. They dragged him away. All the wile he shouted "let me go, where are you taking me". Nobody dared touch the two men. For they where "made men". They dragged him into a darkly lit room, with a chair sitting under a lamp. Picking him up and setting him in the chair they made him swallow a few pills. Slowly he began to fall into a sort of slumber. Within minutes he was unconscious. CHAPTER 2 6 HOURS LATER. "Give him another hit" is the first thing he heard. One of his captors erupted with a lung of power toward his face. The impact tremor shook his head, like a concussion. He awoke his a rush of pain in his mind... he looked around him. His was still in the room. The same two men who took him away are standing in front of him; watching his every move. He asked them "why am I here". They did not respond.... Their is a noise approaching. It is footsteps; he cries out "help! Help me I'm in here"! One of his captors struck him again. "Our boss wants to speak to you" they said. The door opens; a tall husky looking man walked in. He tells the others "unbind his hands" in a tone that sounds like a man who had one to many cigarettes. "Why am I in here" he asked. The boss responded with "You see these dice here. We know they are loaded. I watched you make a sudden switch with your hands". He tosses the dice and with a grin on his face he said "I bet you half a million that they come up with two fives". Sure enough when the dice had stopped rolling, they both read five..... "Now, you have a chance here sir. Either we can break both of your hands, and legs and just move on. or you do us a favor". The boss placed a phone on the table along with a small pistol. The man gets out of his chair and slowly walks to the items. Thinking to himself "why would he give me a gun"?.... The boss figured out what he was thinking and said "the gun is empty so don't think you can get out of this that easy" "Mr. LaBorde I am going to give you a choice. Turn on the phone".... A message appeared on the screen with instructions and a warning. It said "Roger LaBorde. The task that is about to be presented to you will not be easy. This phone is fitted with a GPS chip. If you so much as run we will kill your wife. If you destroy this phone we will think you have ran and will kill her.... You have 36 hours to retrieve a case from a predetermined location. For this you will require protection. The weapon you have been given fires a special .40 calibre round. To find them you will go to address 164 Cypress road. Look inside the trash bin... We are watching you. Remember you have 36 hours. If you are late we will kill you, and your wife so we suggest you get moving"..... Without saying a word LaBorde picks up the items and hurried to his first destination. CHAPTER 3 DAY 2: 3.5 HOURS TO DEADLINE. "My leg, ugh I cant keep on like this". With every step he takes he comes closer and closer to bleeding out. The package weighs heavy on his hands, He is starting to become dizzy. He must continue on; his life, and the life of his wife depends on it. . . . . DAY 1: 32 HOURS TO DEADLINE. The car comes to a halt. Looking down at his phone to check the address LaBorde says to himself "OK. Lets do this". Getting out of the car and walking to the nearest trash bin seams to him like the longest walk in his life.... When he comes to the bin the contents are immediately emptied. At the bottom lays two fully loaded magazines with a envelope beside them. Inside the envelope was a key, and a letter saying "Little big motel, room 8. Look in the air vent. Watch for trouble".... Somebody is coming. Looking down each end of the ally way he is in. One man on each side is walking right toward him.... One of the men says "well well, do my eyes deceive me or do I see a white man digging in my trash". The other man says "sure as hell does, what should we do about this"? Without a moments hesitation LaBorde quick draws his weapon. Pointing it at back and forward at both men screaming "back up! Back up now"! One of the men stepped aside and LaBorde walked passed. Before he could get around the corner one of them began to shoot at him. LaBorde leaped for cover, bullets flying all around him. He shoots back. without the slightest idea what he was doing... He never fired a handgun before in his life.... A couple of his bullets struck one of the shooters. With his partner witnessing his fall he also noticed LaBordes' leg was sticking out..... The bullet striking his leg was like experiencing the worst broken bone in history.... He needed an idea to get out of this. "Playing dead should work" is what he was thinking... Laying their motionless his combatant approached him. Standing their looking down at his kill a grin came on his face... LaBordes' eyes came open. He picked up his weapon; shooting the man three times in the chest. His leg was bad; he needed to do something about it. All he could do for now was to wrap it in his shirt sleeve. "That will do for now". CHAPTER 4 DAY 1: 28 HOURS TO DEADLINE. With his leg leaking like a sponge; he knew he had stop it. His summer home is near by. Paranoia came into his mind. The faces of the men he killed surrounded him.... The drum in his chest that is called a heart, pounded faster and faster. "I must get home fast" he said. Finally pulling into the driveway. He ran to the door step, unlocked the door and stepped into his safe haven. Inside his closet was a large bag full of medical supplies. "Thank God my nurse wife" he said with a sigh of relief..... After a couple hours fixing his leg LaBorde came across a photo. It was from when he and his wife met the first time. The memory of that moment came at him like a tornado. This is what happened. 10 YEARS EARLIER. NEW YORK CITY, WORLD TRADE CENTER, NORTH TOWER, TOP FLOOR. Looking down at the people below was stunning. The mid summer breeze ran through his hair.... Their was a tap on his shoulder. "Sir! Would you mind taking a picture with me". Behind him was the most beautiful women he ever gazed his eyes upon... She had a glow that surrounded her body. Like an angel from Heaven. He stood beside her and smiled at the camera... After the flash he said "Whats your name"?... "Kristin". "Hi Kristin. I'm Roger". Her eyes lit up, and her face ran red... It was love at first sight. [url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=44684042&viewreplies=true]Quick link to other chapters[/url] [Edited on 06.01.2010 5:59 PM PDT]
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  • The changing of time periods is a little annoying, with the constant flashbacks and all, and the flashbacks in flashbacks. Also, you changed your tense from past to present back to past, back to present, and then back to past. This is one of those mistakes to never ever do, so read through your story and fix it. Also, I'm liking the plot, and want to see where it goes from here.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Brisket Eater [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AngryBrute1 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Brisket Eater [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AngryBrute1 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Flood 101 Word of advice: Too many flashbacks or foreshadowings can confuse the readers, with or without times or days.[/quote] True. That will be going in the direction of Lost.[/quote] Good point.[/quote] No. I realy thought that was a good vlid point. Do you agree with everything?[/quote][/quote] You failed at that quote. But I get it.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AngryBrute1 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Brisket Eater [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AngryBrute1 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Flood 101 Word of advice: Too many flashbacks or foreshadowings can confuse the readers, with or without times or days.[/quote] True. That will be going in the direction of Lost.[/quote] Good point.[/quote] No. I realy thought that was a good vlid point. Do you agree with everything?[/quote]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Brisket Eater [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AngryBrute1 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Flood 101 Word of advice: Too many flashbacks or foreshadowings can confuse the readers, with or without times or days.[/quote] True. That will be going in the direction of Lost.[/quote] Good point.[/quote] Do you agree with everything?
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AngryBrute1 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Flood 101 Word of advice: Too many flashbacks or foreshadowings can confuse the readers, with or without times or days.[/quote] True. That will be going in the direction of Lost.[/quote] Good point.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Flood 101 Word of advice: Too many flashbacks or foreshadowings can confuse the readers, with or without times or days.[/quote] True. That will be going in the direction of Lost.
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  • Word of advice: Too many flashbacks or foreshadowings can confuse the readers, with or without times or days.
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  • Chapter 5 coming soon
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Dobatch O Sully [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AngryBrute1 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Flood 101 Indeed.[/quote] Next one I am probably going to deal with why he became a cheater.[/quote] I got the impression that he was set up by either the casino or someone else.[/quote] That still may be. But he is a cheater.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AngryBrute1 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Flood 101 Indeed.[/quote] Next one I am probably going to deal with why he became a cheater.[/quote] I got the impression that he was set up by either the casino or someone else.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AngryBrute1 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Flood 101 Indeed.[/quote] Next one I am probably going to deal with why he became a cheater.[/quote] Epicness!
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Flood 101 Indeed.[/quote] Next one I am probably going to deal with why he became a cheater.
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  • Indeed.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Flood 101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Dobatch O Sully Yeah so i like pepperoni and sausage on my pizza...[/quote] Lol. As for AngryBrute1, the back story is great. Kind of like foreshadowing?[/quote] Sorta. I want people to know what he is doing this for. Back storys always help!
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Dobatch O Sully Yeah so i like pepperoni and sausage on my pizza...[/quote] Lol. As for AngryBrute1, the back story is great. Kind of like foreshadowing?
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  • Yeah so i like pepperoni and sausage on my pizza...
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Flood 101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AngryBrute1 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Flood 101 Halo's music is also spectacular! IMO.[/quote] I cant deny that! Marty is great![/quote] I think it is slowly getting off-topic. Next post, we're probably going to be talking about pizza![/quote] So how was the back story?
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AngryBrute1 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Flood 101 Halo's music is also spectacular! IMO.[/quote] I cant deny that! Marty is great![/quote] I think it is slowly getting off-topic. Next post, we're probably going to be talking about pizza!
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Flood 101 Halo's music is also spectacular! IMO.[/quote] I cant deny that! Marty is great!
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AngryBrute1 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Dobatch O Sully I didnt read yet but I just want to say that the Heavy Rain theme is the most epic thing on this earth. It was created by god.[/quote] I know right!? The music form that game is amazing!!![/quote] Yeah I can see the influence Heavy Rain had on your story. Not a bad thing because Heavy Rain is so epic it floated up to heaven and touched the -blam!- of God himself.
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  • Halo's music is also spectacular! IMO.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Dobatch O Sully I didnt read yet but I just want to say that the Heavy Rain theme is the most epic thing on this earth. It was created by god.[/quote] I know right!? The music form that game is amazing!!!
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  • I didnt read yet but I just want to say that the Heavy Rain theme is the most epic thing on this earth. It was created by god.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Flood 101 *reads Two Days with delight* Nice Chapters 3 & 4. Question: Is it actually "Rodger" or Roger? I just found it kind of weird... [/quote] Ah I think Roger. If I put the D in it then that was a mistake.
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  • *reads Two Days with delight* Nice Chapters 3 & 4. Question: Is it actually "Rodger" or Roger? I just found it kind of weird... [Edited on 05.31.2010 3:16 PM PDT]
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  • Nice to see a back story! Keep it up!
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