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Edited by Masque of Night: 10/7/2016 4:19:05 AM
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An Issue Of Identity.

I'm not entirely certain how to phrase what i'm about to attempt to convey, and I suppose i'm also uncertain of how it'll come across to those who choose to read this topic, but what I hope to share with this post is an explanation of certain newfound considerations i've been having lately. And perhaps you all may have your own stories to share that relate to what I intend on bringing up here, or may have some insights to offer from your own reflections either in the past or present. Like usual, [b]this thread will be a tad bit lengthy[/b], and if you're not interested enough to continue, I do understand. However, if you wish to continue, let's begin. I made a thread about this not that long ago, that I started out in actually gaining direct experience in my career/field of choice. The majority of details in relation to the profession aren't pertinent to the topic at hand, save for a certain few, so that certain few will be all that I mention. In this line of work, i'm faced with interacting with other people (most that i've never met before) during a very sensitive time in their lives. I'm not exactly a social butterfly, i've never been all that comfortable around the majority of people i've met in the past, so this new expectation threw me for a bit of a loop. I did my best to act like a normal human being would, and I think I did decent enough. However, even though I knew full well what I was getting into, it drew me into questioning a well-traversed subject in a new line of thought. I paid mind to how my co-workers interacted with these people, as well as how the public responded. I also paid mind to how they interacted with one another outside of the public eye. I noticed similarities and differences, and it made me wonder about which aspects were genuine and which weren't, or perhaps that they all were, and certain aspects were simply "reserved" for certain times. This made me reflect on what sort of behavior and/or persona, through purely unspoken perception, may potentially be expected of me, and how it might vary from my "natural" behavior and/or persona. I'm not an incredibly emotional person, nor am I all that exceptional with connecting and empathizing with others. I generally try to be polite and friendly with those around me, but at the same time i've always had an unconscious habit of keeping a level of emotional distance with the majority of those I meet. It takes me a long time to open up and find a semblance of comfort in most social situations. I sometimes wonder if this causes me to come off as cold or uncaring, and if this may prove harmful to my ability to perform the tasks expected of me in my profession. So, it seems that i'm gradually becoming caught in a sort of limbo between my "natural" stoic, solitary, and distant persona, and a more warm, welcoming, sociable persona that circumstance may necessitate me to invent. This hasn't proven to be a disruption in my conscious or unconscious life, but it's also a concern i've never really had to consider before. I know i'll end up working out a solution in time, but I figured this might be an interesting subject to bring up and share with you all. As per usual, my aforementioned situation is simply an example i've pulled from my own personal experience. Can you think of a time where you were, whether it be explicit or implied, expected to portray a particular personality or attitude that you didn't feel was really "you"? If so, did you find it easy to manage? Or was it a cause of strong distress or discomfort for you? I know that it's common for one to modify their behavior depending on the situation they're placed in, but sometimes the shift can be more drastic than subtle, and that's mainly what i'm referring to here. Discuss at your leisure, and my sincere gratitude to anyone who decided to read this post in its entirety. I hope that you find something of value.

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  • A social personality is more convenient in the world in which we live, so it is just a matter of course to reflect that fact when necessary. I'm sure you'll find many kindred spirits in this regard (including myself), considering where this discussion is taking place.

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  • Edited by BLEEHOW97: 10/7/2016 3:59:04 PM
    Kind of everyday, but it doesn't necessarily effect me as drastically as you are saying. I live down here in Mississippi where, as you can probably imagine, the sort of nerdy culture I'm into isn't really a thing as much. And I'm also the same as you. Most of the time my public self is very different from my actual self. I put on a different face because it takes me a very long time to open up to people. Or open up at all. So I change myself because it's easier. It is weird for me however, because I'm not doing it to save myself from embarrassment really. I can't say it's not a factor, but the big reason is just cuz it's easier to get through the day for me that way. Without having to deal with all the things that come with being an odd one out. I am slowly learning to just not care what people think though. Very slowly. But I do still put on a face, as does everyone I think to an extent

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  • Absolutely. I mean, I would look like an asshole if I told everybody in my life that all I care about is myself, but am I going to sit here and think that that isn't true? Sure, some people, of course, I care about, and I care about the general betterment of the human race, but when I say I only care about myself, it's more of a utilitarian statement. I care about outcomes and zeitgeists rather than individual issues. Obviously, something more pertinent to my life will temporarily change that, and someone's friend dying or something is not pertinent to my life. So, am I emotionally distant from people? Of course. Of course I'm guarded. You have to be. However, that doesn't have to reflect on your intrapersonal communication, and in fact, you should deceive people into thinking that you aren't emotionally distant at all. Take a dog for example. Generally, save for people who are scared of them, people love dogs. They get happy when they see them. Why? Because no matter how many times you feed a dog the same meal, they still act excited to see you.

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