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9/27/2009 8:38:30 PM

No wonder humanity was almost wiped out!

At the beginning of the Halo series, humanity had weapons that made the Covenant crap their pants. The standard UNSC pistol could be used as a freakin' anti-air weapon! The rocket launcher obliterated everything nearby, and the vehicles were completely indestructible. Meanwhile, the Covenant were equipping their highest ranking Elites with fuzzy blue things that did nothing but make the humans laugh, as they used bullets to kill enemies rather than fists. Then, the UNSC had a sudden urge to "balance" their equipment. They made it so the pistol couldn't kill a grunt, let alone a Covenant ship. They also turned their vehicles into fast-moving deathtraps that the enemy could now hijack. The only improvements that were made during this period were an improved rocket launcher that was able to lock on to enemy vehicles, and an increased budget that allowed the UNSC to get every marine a driver's license. At the same time, the Covenant upgraded their blue fuzzy things into something resembling a sword, and it could now allow the user to fly 50 feet towards any desired target. In addition, they developed a weapon similar to the UNSC's rocket launcher, except the user could fire approximately 1 bajillion rounds before reloading. The UNSC then created a weapon similar to the original stardard-issue pistol, but instead of making it standard issue, it was reserved for maniacs who enjoy getting launched from orbital stations for a living. This new pistol was decommissioned after six hours. The Covenant then realized that marines were using the plasma pistol and BR55 together to kill shielded Covenant easier, so they did the only logical thing and made the plasma pistol completely useless. In order to combat Banshees in the absence of the pistol, the UNSC designed Hornets which, while incredibly boring to fly, looked totally kick ass. Not wanting to fall behind on the manufacturing of overpowered weapons that make no sense, the Covenant designed a seven foot tall hammer that could destroy any enemy with one hit. This weapon was of course down graded when the Covenant realized it was useful. Only with the help of the Elites with their retarded glowy things that somehow enabled the wielder to fly towards enemies, was humanity able to survive. Weapons in the future [b]suck[/b]. [Edited on 03.02.2011 9:49 PM PST]

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