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8/28/2009 9:16:54 PM

The Neotoric Sovereign of Bel-Air

This is a tale explaining the manner in which my way of life was rotated along a Y axis until it reached a position roughly 180 degrees from that which it started. If I could have 60 seconds of your time, simply place your posterior in the selected location and I will relate to you the details of how I was made the male monarch of the disctrict of the City of Los Angeles, California commonly referred to as Bel-Air. (Coordinates 34.08333 -118.44778) In the western region of the "City of Brotherly Love" known as Philadelphia my mother expelled me from her womb, and indeed, that is also where I spent my childhood in my mother's care. The majority of my time was spent in a recreational area containing such diversions as a jungle gym, swing set, sand box, etc. I was typically at the height of leisure while frequently at a temperature slightly below what might be considered standard room temperature. Outside of my educational institution I was engaging in a game of basketball with some of my friends when a couple of gentlemen who seemed to be of the disposition to cause a great deal of mischief began causing a great deal of chaos and disharmony in the area in which I lived. I was involved in one rather small bout of fisticuffs after which my mother became concerned for my general safety and well-being and she informed me that I would be moving in with her sister and her sister's husband in the previous mentioned community of Bel-Air. I implored my mother to relent approximately 24-48 hours ago, yet she gathered my belongings in a somewhat flat, rectangular shaped piece of luggage and expelled me from her presence. She placed her lips upon my cheek in an affectionate manner and handed me a pre-purchased pass for public transportation. I placed the headphones for my personal music system into my ears and verbalized the idea that I may as well impact this situation with my foot. Traveling in the highest available level of comfort, this is indeed an unfortunate situation (although I make this statement with some irony). Consuming the juices obtained by the squeezing of the fruit of a Citrus sinensis from a piece of glass stemware commonly reserved for the sipping of sparkling wine originating from the Champagne region of France I pause to wonder if this is indeed how the residents of the admittedly upper-class neighborhood of Bel-Air commonly live, indeed I find this situation may be rather to my enjoyment. I puckered my lips and exhaled forcefully to produce a shrill note in order to gain the attention of a taxicab driver and as the driver approached, I observed his California vanity plate, which in place of alpha-numeric characters, used only the letters F, R, E , S and H, spelling out the word [i]"fresh"[/i] and from his rearview mirror dangled a pair of oversized, fur-covered cubes decorated to look like the six-sided dice commonly used in gambling and board games. In such a situation I could have made a statement about the unusualness of this particular taxicab to the point of it being nearly unique. Instead, I cogitatively decided against it and instead informed the driver that he should deliver me to what was to become my new home in the community of Bel-Air. We pulled up to a large domicile sometime between the hours of over 9,000 and 8 o' clock and in a loud tone of voice I informed the cab driver that at some undetermined point in the future I would again detect his odor through my sense of olfaction. I gazed about the region of land that I was destined to rule, reflecting on my arrival where I would claim my rightful place upon the throne, from which I would govern the community of Bel-Air as monarch. [url=]tl;dr[/url] [Edited on 08.28.2009 1:20 PM PDT]
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