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6/28/2005 6:35:36 PM

"Too Much Bungie"

“Too much Bungie” A Character-Driven Thought-Provoking Novelette of Ground-Breaking Proportion By: Douglas Brown, M.D. “[i]I arrive at the door with the buttercups in hand. They have a really un-buttercupy fragrance. Sort of like wet socks. But this is trivial. I am at Bungie Manor. The mythical home of all the Halo and other Bungie characters and all the Bungie Employees and mods. “Wait, didn’t I make Bungie Manor up? How could I be-“ My line of thought, or whatever you’d call it, was suddenly interrupted by a scuffle from below. Upon looking down, I found the flowers were eating each other, a’ la’ Pink Floyd’s The Wall. “Sigh” I’m flippin’ dreaming again! “BLAM!!” the profanity erupted from my lips in the form of the sound of a shotgun blast. I laughed. My brain was making little jokes. I tried swearing again, and it came out the right way I didn’t care who heard me- it was my dream. Wait. MY dream. I could do stuff here that I couldn’t do if I visited the real Bungie Manor. If there was a real Bungie Manor. I still hoped there was. Sort of hidden in the desert or something like Area 51. A bell would be more sufficient, but I wanted to knock anyway. I wrap my knuckles up on the door. It is painted to resemble the Halo 2 cover. It opened quickly. “Hey!!” shouts a figure wearing a pink Spartan helmet. It’s the Bungie Princess from the Gallery!!!! She flashes me her special dual “thumbs up” gesture. Though her helmet covered face, I could tell she is smiling broadly. Before anyone else came up, I want to see the house. I look around trying to take it all in at once, which is pretty easy since it was dream. It’s like an old-timey plantation, but with a mansion-ish interior. There are cartoon-style convent running all over. The food are around, but they’re more like kittens or something. A few other monsters from other games ran around, including pacman and the ball and chain thing from Mario 64. I classified then as charaters from other Bungie games that I haven’t played. Now a different girl walks quickly toward me. Rather, she jogs slightly. “Oh, hi!” I said offering my hand. Instead, she hugs me tightly. “Hello!!” she shouts happily. “Wait…..Steel?” I asked. “ Yep!! she shouts back excitedly. “Hey, lemme get a look at you!” She stands back and held her arms open. She is about regular height and average build with dark red hair and bright blue eyes. She is quite pretty in a way. Then she suddenly leaned in close, as if to tell me a secret or eat my ear off. Fortunatly, she choose the former. “You know, Todd” she started, “I always liked you the best. I always say nice things about everyone, but you are my favorite. You make such wonderful posts!” “Gee, thanks” I said. I mean, what do you say when you met real person you know from the forums, and then they compliment you so. You know,” I said, “you’re how I always pictured you”. “I know!!!” She shouted and cartwheeled off. I’m pretty dumbfounded at this point. It’s a lot to think about, ya know? Then I see Frankie. Rather, I gape at him. I mean, It’s Frankie, the bald head is unmistakable, but it is what he dressed in that startles me. Frankie is wearing a French Maid outfit. At first I am afraid of ridiculing him, I think that I might get me legs broken with a real ban hammer, then I force my mind to overcome the dream feeling and shout “Hey Frankie, nice threads!” It’s a pretty stupid sounding comment, I know, but it was all I could come up with on the spot. Frankie just sorta stands there, like he was brain-dead. “Kinda like real life” is the first thing that came to my mind. I know it isn’t true and I sort of liked Frankie, but I’m not good at insults and I want to feel cool. Then a tall, muscular guy walks up to me. He has a flowing purple cape and a solemn smile. He extends is hand and I shook it. He has a very firm grip. “I liked that story you wrote about me”. He said. I know who it is. “Maka” I breathed. I am in total awe. Maka moved and produced something from his robe, which his held in his fist. “You know what this is?” He asked. “It’s magic” I just stood there. Then Maka, moving surprisingly fast, punchs me in the stomach. “See?” He said. “Magic”. We both smile and walk on, me contemplating his deep philosophy. I saw a very bright light ahead. A figured moves into the light. I can only see their silhouette. It has slender, yet still muscular arms and wide hips. The figure moves closer and I could make out odd hair. It is purple. “Oni?” I called. “Yes Todd, it’s me” “Woah!!” was all I could say. Oni was a severe hottie. “You wanna go upstairs and-”[/i] She was cut off by a beeping. I sensed something was wrong. I was had a very bad feeling and then I realized I was “back” in bed. This time I swore, and there was no “-blam-“ filter. Fortunately, no one heard. At least, no one who would care heard. My dog, Cortana heard me, but she’s a dog. It’s such a nice dream. I’ve had it before. I always hate to wake up. I dragged my body from the bed and put clothes on it. I threw on my shirt with the Flaming Ninja on it. I touched my Bungie sticker for luck, turned out the light, and left the room. It’s some of those toaster pastries for breakfast. They’re quick and easy, so I don’t have use as much time to make them, so I stay can at Bungie Manor longer. As I chomped on the pastry I began to think “Where was Halifax this time? He, or at least his hand is always there somewhere. If he doesn’t talk to me, I can at least catch him somewhere in the background with a cold one somewhere.” I sighed. A Halifax-less dream meant it was going to be a bad day. I caught the bus and sat in my usual place towards the back of the bus. Fortunately, no one was sitting there today. Kids know I always sit there, and sometime they're there on purpose to get on my nerves. I took my bookleg copy of “Halo: Chief’s Shadow”. I got it on, of course, the internet. School sucks. I know most all the stuff the teacher’s teach, but they still insist that I pay attetion. They love to see students read, but they don’t get their hope up for me since all I usually bring is Bungie-related things. They think that Bungie is “ a waste of time.” The only good class is 7th period study hall. Then I can go into the computer lab and surf ‘till school’s out. Most of school coasted by easily enough. I hid my book in other books and textbooks that the teachers find “worthwhile”. I got caught in 6th period. She confiscated the book. “You eleemosynary woman!” I shouted. “Why, Todd Haplin, go to the office!” she shouted back “But, all I said is that you were kind! Look it up!” I explained. She did, and sure enough I was right. The class got a kick out of that. “She-witch” I whispered under my breathe. For the rest of the class I stayed quiet for the rest of the class and pretended to be paying attention. Really, I was thinking about the dream and Bungie and Halo and The bell rang and my heart swelled. I was almost there. I was pretty wrapped up in my thoughts. Too wrapped up to notice the girl coming up to me. I crashed into her. “Oh sorry,” I mumbled hurriedly. I gathered my stuff up and picked up a couple of her things. “I think this is yours” said the girl, holding up my notebook. Truth be told, I’d had my head down and didn’t realize the person was a girl until I heard her voice. I looked up. It was Steel. Rather, it was a girl rather similar. “By the way” she asked “who is Maka? Some special girl?” She was still holding my notebook. On the front, surrounded by hearts, was the word “Maka”. “NO WAY!” I shouted, disgusted. “He’s a moderator on the Bungie forums” “So….you’re in love with a stranger…..that moderators forums?” She asked. I burst into tears. “You don’t know nothin’!” I shouted and ran off. I went to the restroom and gained composure. Then I went to the computer lab to kill the rest of the day posting my theories on Halo 3 and such. When I came home, I checked my email (received nothing) and logged on to X-box. After playing for about 3 hours, I took a break. Then I fed Cortana. After a dinner for leftovers surrounded by what conversation my mom tried to make, I went to my room to read for the rest of the night. Then, after my nightly ritual of think about Halo for five minute without any other thought, which is to unsure Bungie dream, I slept.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Well, it’s clear you have a problem,” said Dr. Kitzer. “What should I do?” I asked, afraid of what he might say. “Take these pill twice daily. You should loose at least 20 pound by the end of the week” he said, handing me a prescription. “Wha, I don’t need diet pills!” “Of course you do, now get out! I have other paitents.” said the doctor and pushed me out the door. He was a busy man. I went to have the prescription filled. [Edited on 6/28/2005]
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