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6/16/2004 1:05:46 AM
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Crazy Stories here ATTN: Green Chief

OK, So green chief had a crazy story of some russina wacko attacking him.. here is mine, minus the russians and hot chicks. When i was a teenager My buddies and I rode dirtbikes and Quads to pass the time. We lived in a small poedunk town in the mountains called Tehachapi. Dirtbikes were the best thing to do besides drink and get girls pregnant, no kiddin. So I had a Quad at the time, and two of my buddies are one bikes riding with me. I wanted to show them a new trail out behind my house that went way up the mountain range right behind the house. Here was the catch, there was a gate blocking the main road in. I had traveled the fence line way around the gate and found the fence to be on the ground due to lack of maintence. So the three of us go riding up these small fireroads throught some trees and very nice views. At one point we change from heading east to heading west as we go around the backside of the ridge. The property back here was backed up to a local campground. The road we were on tied into another road from the west and went down to the bottom of the ridge, on the edge of the valley. At this point we had to stop because the gate was locked. The three of us killed our engines and sat enjoying the beauty of the moment. In the Valley there was a bunch of Renaissance looking tents, and we later learned that a renaissance group from la that does a private fair once a year. Anyways, one of the Campground workers saw us, and after sitting there for a few min we saw this full size Ford F350 quadcab with a Workbox instead of a bed hauling butt up the road towards us. You could tell this guy was in a hurry, and the only destination was right where we were sitting. Needless to say we understood it would not be a friendly visit, we left in such a hurry my friends didn't get their helmets on. On the way up the hill the leading bike went a different way than we had come turning west. At the top of the hill i stopped them and said I had no idea where that trail went, and that we should turn back the other way. They said they did not care where it went, i figured it had not been long enough for the Ford driver to have opened up the gate with the lock and all, so i headed down the road. This is where is gets good. All of a sudden the Ford is comming up the hill so fast that the rear end is fishtailing as he comes around a steep sweeping turn. I tried to flip a -blam!-, and ended up rolling my quad due to the steepness of the road, a very steep grade. I had some adrenaline boost, stood up and stopped the rolling quad and flipped it over(still would not believe it myself if my friends didn't tall me so). By the time I jumped on the bike, the Ford pulled infront of me, the driver jumped out, and let me tell you, his face was bright red, he looked as if we just killed his wife and raped his daughter, i mean mad. So, he jumps out, grabs the shouldpad of my chest protector with his left hand while holding the steering wheel with his right. I firgured he was gonna beat me up or something, i was fairly skinny back then. The guy failed to press his parking brake or even put the vehicle in Park so due to the steepness of the road again, that huge truck started rolling backwards. The guy was soo mad he would not let go of me or the steering wheel, this was soon to change as the weight of the vehicle literaly tore him off me and drug him down the hill with the truck. Stunned i watched him let go of the wheel causing the tires to turn, the truck bounced off the road and literealy bouced 3 feet in the air as it backed over a huge tree stump at what looked to be about 15 to 20 miles per hour. The red faced man rolled down the hill, and that was the last thing I was. Without discussion we took the route we had never been on before. Lucky for us it took us near where we wanted to go. Aftermath: One of my buddies who was with us has a dad who owns a septic pumping business. That day, his dad was working the event draining the poo outta the porta potties. He asked Levi (my friend) if the three of us had been riding up near the campgrounds that day. Levi Lied of course and said no. His dad then explained how the guy broke his arm and had to be rushed to the hospital once he wobbled back to the campground... Who knows what kind of damage was done to the undercarraige of the truck. We never went up that trail again... discuss:
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  • Long, but worth it. Nice! You had me laughing the whole way through! :-D
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    1 Reply
    • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] GreenChief Meh, I'm not a big fan of old people. Except my grandpa. He's a pun meister. Everything you say, he'll mock it with some sort of joke/pun![/quote] i've got no problems with the elderly. they're fountains of knowledge (sometimes), and failing that, they're usually good for a laugh or two. the problem arises when you put them behind the wheel of a 4 ton death machine. and make it legal.
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    • Meh, I'm not a big fan of old people. Except my grandpa. He's a pun meister. Everything you say, he'll mock it with some sort of joke/pun!
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    • Toothpaste tastes like my hair!
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    • The old people part sounds a lot like Lake Havasu City, my wifes grandparents live there. nuts.
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    • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] GreenChief Those are called, 'crack addicts'. And they'll do anything for crack. You should get one as a house cleaner, and pay him/her in crack![/quote] that would cost an awful lot for just cleaning the house. not that i would know anything about that. i mean...damn.
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    • i have brushes with death nearly every day. you see, i live in miami. home to thousands of elderly folk, and twice as many wannabe thugs. and they all have a drivers license. so when you're not about to be broadsided by a boat of a cadillac, you're having to dodge all the little kids driving their rice burners thinking they're in the fast and the furious. couple that with the absolute [b]worst[/b] city planning in the history of mankind, and you've got a heart attack, before your time, in the making.
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    • Those are called, 'crack addicts'. And they'll do anything for crack. You should get one as a house cleaner, and pay him/her in crack!
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    • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] GreenChief Holy sumama-blam!-! Out in the woods like that, he could've killed you and no one would've ever known. I was just threatened by some jackass holding a knife like a total moron. Jesus, stay out of the woods, man![/quote] Yeah, freaking Scary man, back woods weirdos. Now I live in a Big City with a different breed of weirdos.
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    • Holy sumama-blam!-! Out in the woods like that, he could've killed you and no one would've ever known. I was just threatened by some jackass holding a knife like a total moron. Jesus, stay out of the woods, man!
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    • IC.. ok. well, it is time for bed... I hope Green Chief gets a chance to see this post.
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    • no, like i said, I'm an avid rider, so I haven't gotten out anywhere other than holister
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    • right on.. every ridden jawbone or Redrock in the Mojave? I used to live 40 mins from there..
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    • Hollister Hills
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    • those park rangers can be di cks sometimes, but i guess it comes from all the people who mess it up for the rest of us.... what State Park were you riding at?
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    • wow, i don't have any really crazy stories like that, i have something sorta similar, I'm a sorta avid dirtbiker myself, so... this one time, I was at this designated "off-road motor vehicle park" and it's a state park, there's this main road all along it, and for a while i didn't know the posted speed limit applied to dirtbikes too (I mean come one it's not like they have speedometers) so i was riding behind this park ranger in a pick-up, and I though he was signaling for me to pass him (but i guess he was really trying to tell me to come over to him) so I speed up and before i knew it, he veered right in front of me! I mean I was mili-seconds from running right into the front of his truck at like 10-20 mph, he thought i was trying to run from him, but he was a jack-ass anyway, but then again i was too, hehe i leaned my lesson there, but had I hit him, i probably could have take the whole state of california to court in a lawsuit if I had any injuries.
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    • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] CANNON 117 Maybe you parked in his spot?[/quote] ummm, no. not a parking spot, middle of the forrest, trees and bushes..
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    • you mean the parking spot with that cool picture of a person in a wheelchair on it.
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    • Maybe you parked in his spot?
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    • I didn't smell alcohol on him, and he was a campground worker, not a renaissance attendee, so i think he had just blown a gasket about the whole thing... probly has a temper problem...
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    • was the guys face red because he was mad or do you think he was pretty wasted off some rennasance moonshine. That'd explain why he went into scare -blam!-less first ask questions later mode.
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    • Never found out why. It's not like we were doing broadies in the middle of the event, we were about a 1/2 mile or so away form the event, I was suprised he even heard our bikes..
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    • Did you ever find out why he was chasing you? Sure, it was private property, but he didn't have to do all of that stuff to get to you. He could have asked nicely for you guys to leave, or just pulled out a weapon of some sort. That usually get's the message across.
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    • Crazy.
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    • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] CANNON 117 At least the guy didn't pull you down the hill with him. I wonder if the bones would heal properly...[/quote] When he grabbed me I was sitting my quad and had a death grip on the handle bars.
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    • At least the guy didn't pull you down the hill with him. I wonder if the bones would heal properly... [Edited on 6/15/2004 5:17:52 PM]
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