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6/15/2004 6:18:55 PM
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Jokes.

Share your stupid jokes here.
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  • nice ill remember those when i wanna stand out in a professors head
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  • .
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  • There are 10 kinds of people in the world..... Those who understand Binary, and those who don't.
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  • A frontiersman went into an Indian village to purchase a wife. The chief showed him three young women. The first was seated on a deer skin and could be purchased for the sum of five ponies. The second was seated on a buffalo skin and could also be purchased for five ponies. The third young woman was seated on a hippopotamus skin and could be purchased for ten ponies. "Why does this one cost so much more?" asked the man. "You know," replied chief Pythagoras, "the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides."
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  • Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
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  • A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First, they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while, they notice three persons coming out of the house. The physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate." The biologists: "They have reproduced". The mathematician: "If now exactly one person enters the house then it will be empty again."
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  • n1
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  • heres a joke my O-Chem professor told me: whats the difference between a prostate and a gall bladder? oh, theres a vas deferens HEY OOO!
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  • Roses are red violets are blue I'm a scitzafrantic and so am I.
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  • the three things that are good about your wife: her mother died, her mother is dead and isn't coming back alive.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Yoozel Remember guys just keep it clean... Yo mamma's so fat when it was said let there be light she was told to move![/quote] HaHa, I remember telling that to my cousin and he laughed for like five minutes straight! P.S. My joke was the best so far...
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  • Remember guys just keep it clean... Yo mamma's so fat when it was said let there be light she was told to move!
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  • who liked my joke? show of hands....
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  • I got a real good one: So this penguin takes his car to the mecanic (dont ask me what kind of car, it was a penguin car) and the mecanic says: come back in 30 minutes. So, the penguin goes out for ice cream. His favorite kind is vanilla, so thats what he gets. BUT...having a beak, he cant eat ice cream well and he gets it all over his face. Later, he returns to the mecanic (to pick up his car). The mecanic slides out from under it on his trolley, notices the penguin and says: Looks like you blew a seal Budumchee.. (you know the sound effect I mean...)
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  • Two atoms were sitting in a bar. Atom 1: - I think i've lost an electron! Atom 2: - Are you sure? Atom 1 - I'm positive. A man was sitting in a bar. Then a panda comes in, walks up to the bartender and orders something to eat. When it has eaten, it pulls out a gun and shoots the bartender, and runs away. The man then follows the panda and asked it why it had shot the bartender. The panda says to the man that he should find the word panda in a dictionary. The man does that, and in the dictionary it says: Panda: eats shoots and leaves (this one is directly translated from swedish) Once upon a time there was an american, an arab and Bellman. They were standing at the top of the eifel tower. Then suddenly the american throws money down the tower. The arab and Bellman ask the american why he had done it, and he answers "we have so much of it in my country". Then the arab pours out oil from the tower. The american and Bellman asks the arab why he had done it, the arab answers "because we have so much of it in my country". Then Bellman tosses the arab down the tower. The american asks why he did it, and Bellman answers "because we have so much of them in my country". (sorry if this joke was a bit long and rasistic)
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  • You're always the one to end topics. lol good jokes
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  • Yo mama is so fat, she got her own zip code. Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world. Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy. Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop! Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions! Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!". Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!". Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway. Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] flamechu will anyone answer my question[/quote] Yes, I will.- I wouldn't advise it. (almost anything else is fine) Telling racist jokes would be against forum rules. [Edited on 6/15/2004 7:18:47 PM]
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  • will anyone answer my question
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  • You mammas so old, when she breast feeds, its like powederd milk!!! Sorry people if that was inapropriate, Just so dam funny.
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  • ur so stupid becuase u stared at a botle of orange juice becuase it said concentrate.
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  • Top 26 Engineers' Terminologies 1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED - We are still pissing in the wind. 2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM - - We just hired three kids fresh out of college. 3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION - We know who to blame. 4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH - It works OK, but looks very hi-tech. 5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED - We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered. 6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE - The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch. 7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING - We are so surprised that the stupid thing works. 8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED - The only person who understood the thing quit. 9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless. 10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT - Forget it! We have enough problems for now. 11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL - Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up. 12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING - We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done. 13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION - I can't wait to hear this bull! 14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS - Come into my office, I'm lonely. - Come to my office, I've screwed up again. 15. ALL NEW - Parts not interchangeable with the previous design. 16. RUGGED - Too damn heavy to lift! 17. LIGHTWEIGHT - Lighter than RUGGED. 18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - One finally worked. 19. ENERGY SAVING - Achieved when the power switch is off. 20. LOW MAINTENANCE - Impossible to fix if broken. From: sapient#NoSpam.pearwood.demon.co.uk (Barny Shergold) 21. IT IS TECHNICALLY IMPOSSIBLE - I don't feel like doing it. 22. IT DEPENDS... - Abandon all hope of a useful answer. 23. WE ARE FOLLOWING THE STANDARD! - That's the way we have always done it! 24. FAX ME THE DATA. - I'm too lazy to write it down. 25. THE DATA BITS ARE FLEXED THROUGH A COLLECTIMIZER WHICH STRIPS THE FLOW- GATE ARRAYS INTO VIRTUAL MESSAGE ELEMENTS - I don't know. ....wait, bad jokes? My bad. [Edited on 6/15/2004 4:02:19 PM]
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  • your mommas so old she has an autographed copy of the bible 2 grunts walk into a bar the second one says "yea i didn't see it either"
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  • jo daddy so ugly, when he looked out the window he got arested for mooning.
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  • Your mom's so fat that when she finally got off the couch, they had to redraw the global map.
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  • You're so ugly that your fed with a slingshot.
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