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Surf a Flood of random discussion.
2/9/2014 2:30:55 AM
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And this is why i dont use public restrooms

In an attempt to keep up with the immaturity of the flood, i will be spinning you guise a yarn about my most recent trip to my school's restroom. [quote]So i had recently started eating oats and prunes as a post-workout meal/shake thingy because gains and whatnot. So around the 7th period of my Wednesday afternoon, they reached my lower intestine and i knew what had to be done. I hastily asked the teacher if i can be excused from class and, clenching my cheeks together, I scurried to the closest restroom. As i entered, there was not a soul to be found. "What luck" i thought, as now no one would know of my horrendous sin. I plopped myself down onto the cleanest stall and began my work. My new found happiness was quickly demolished when i heard the sound of the bathroom door opening and two footsteps approaching. I quickly closed my inner mechanisms up in a futile attempt to hold it in until the foreign menace had exited. This soon became a impossibility when one of them, and keep in mind this is verbatim, exclaimed to his friend "If anybody comes in, tell them there's two guys taking a shit". I did not know for how long i could keep up this losing battle and, sure enough, after what seemed like an eternity, i let out a sound reminiscent of a trumpet. "Aww shit, hold on lemme match yah" exclaimed the male in the other stale followed by a barrage of grunts and what i can only describe as the sound of a orangutan trying to pass a kidney stone. The event only got worse as i heard an all too familiar sound. The lookout posted at the door began playing Roar by Katy Perry. Bewildered and Constipated, i knew that i had been caught in the act and might as well finish it up. With one last push of valor and a triumphant orchestraic collaboration of Brass Instrument- like sounds, I finished my assignment and flushed twice in an attempt to forever hid my great sin. At this point, the other male was still attempting to best me and continued to release a cacophony of groans and poots. I quickly exited my stall, washed my hands, all the while avoiding eye contact with the bathroom bounce, and exited the bathroom with great haste. [/quote] And this, flood, is why i don't, and will not, take a dump in public restrooms anymore.

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  • Edited by Master Builder: 2/9/2014 3:50:01 AM
    Nothing is quite as satisfying as the sound of taking a shit after holding it for so long. Like a new trumpet player trying to play a low F#

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