[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] ajw34307 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Water Beetle [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Secret008 That was rather painful to read.It was littered with grammar mistakes.Flood is capitalized.Why exactly would the Humans need the Elites help to create another Spartan?Not enough description language.What kind of Flood was it?What armor was Mike and "Icka" wearing?What color?What were their features?His hair color?Age?Race? The sentence structure was terrible.You forgot a few full stops.Over all I would rate it a 3/10.[/quote] I agree it needs improvement, but I thinks you are being too harsh. OP could be 8 years old for all we know and aspiring to be a writer.[/quote] So what? We should praise this... [i]thing[/i] just because we don't want to hurt his feelings? No. Like [i]every[/i] writer, the OP's story should be torn to pieces in front of him so he can improve, otherwise he'll just end up writing the same 'quality' forever without hope for improvement just because people on an internet forum didn't want to hurt his feelings. The truth of the matter is, this was an eye-sore and it was painful to read. Grammatical errors plague this like post-WWI Spanish influenza, the story itself is ridden with non-sensical and canonical errors and the OP needs to work on [i]showing[/i], not telling us what's going on.[/quote] Yes, but I mean, by ripping him to shreds you'll just put down his esteem and he could give up on himself. But ok, i should be a little bit harsher. OP, you REALLY need to work on your grammar and storytelling. But don't give up.