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8/17/2006 4:37:38 AM
26
Who Ate All The Pie? An Insane Short Story. *Ok, Chap 3 and 4 are up*
Ok, this is a short story I wrote about a year ago when i was bored.
Hate it, Love it, whatever.
I don't claim to own any characters, other then the Police Chief guy.
And sorry if there are any grammatical errors, I havn't gotten around to editing it yet.
Chapter 1.
It was not a normal day in Kelsington. The sky was blue! Good gravy it was blue! It wasn't its normal shade of musty brown, it was blue! No one was sure why this happened, but the resident town detective had his suspicions...
"Im telling you, its because someone spilled a can of paint upside down! They opened it the wrong way and it fell up!", the Detective argued.
"And I'm telling you that that is impossible. How can something fall up? It is absurd, ridiculous, abnormal, crazy, impossible, and improbable!" The Police Chief argued back.
"Well if you stand on your head it does. Watch and learn my very serious employer.", The detective picked up the Chiefs' pen and stood on his head. He dropped it and do you want to guess what happened? Well, it fell up! It hit the ceiling, bounced, and fell back to the ceiling where it stayed. "See? I told you, now we need some musty brown paint! Lets fix the sky!"
"Ju-da-bu-... how did that happen!?... I guess you were...right. Well, go find the culprit! I will get a team to fix the sky!"
*********** ********** ****************** ********** ***
The Detective had finally pinpointed the hideout of the culprit. His name was Triangle Man and really liked to mess stuff up and annoy people. He liked to annoy them like a fly buzzing around your ear, or a gnat that decided to fly uo your nose. Yes he was annoying just like them. The Detective marched up to his house and sniffed the door. Sniffing doors was Kelsingtons way of knocking. Dont ask why, thats just how they do it. There was no answer so he preceded to blow the door down because it was made of air. So, if you think about it, there was no dor and he opened no door and he smelt no door. All of that is absoloutly mad but thats how it happened, I was there!
The Detective walked in and noticed he hadn't really walked in anywhere and was standing in an open field. He saw triangle man standing near a table eating something. The Detective walked up to him and asked, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TRIANGLE MAN MAN MAN MAN MAN!"
Triangle man screamed like a little girl and turned around.
"Oh hey there Mr. Detective. I was just eating some pie. I sure do love pie!"
"Indeed. Everyone here in Kelsington loves pie... GIMMIE SOME!"
"NO! ITS MINE... Its....my....preeeecious."
"Well now I have to arrest you. You quoted Gollum from the Lord of the Rings and you didnt say you cited him. Now I get your pie. I WIN!
" Oh tartar sauce. If it wasnt for you meddling kids and that dumb dog of yours I would have gotten away with it!"
"Now you go to jail for quoting Spongebob Squarepants and Scooby Doo without citing them. You lose. And I have no dog... and im not plural... nor am I a kid... you get the death sentance for being stupid.
"Awwww man."
[Edited on 8/17/2006]
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I dont own any familiar characters! Chap 3. The Detective stumbled out of the local bar. Its been 12 minutes and they hadn't found a lead yet. With no pie people were begining to shot each other with there pie shooting guns. But since there were no pies they didn't hurt anybody. One crazy guy even tried jumping off a building and ending his life. It didnt work because the super-soft-pavement-made-to-precent-suicides-like-this-one saved him! He then proceded to sue the pavement and is still over there arguing with it. All of this in the course of 12 minutes. The detective then knew who stole the pies! It was Tony the Mutha Feckin Pony! He wasnt really a pony but everyone called him that because they could. The detective started walking to his house. Taylor wasn't there cause he was too busy searching for the pies in the most retarded places. Ever. He looked under a rock, under a street post, under his foot, under the Earth and under the same rock again. He is stupid. The detective was making his was to the house of Tony when out of no where the Knights who say Ni! appeared(yay). They stopped the Detective. "Ni! Ni! Ni!", the knights shouted. The blocked the Detectives path. "Who are you?" The detective asked. "We are the Knights who say Ni!", the head knight replied. "What in the name of pumpkin pie are the knights who say Ni!" "We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni!, Peng, and Nee-wom! Whoever hears them seldom live to hear the tale!" "Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!" The knights shouted. "Aaahhh the pain! You must stop, I will do anything!" "We shall say Ni! again if you do not appease us." The head knight stated. "Well what is it you want?" "We want a shrubbery!" "Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!" "Ow ouch, stop it!" "You must retrun with a shrubbery or you will never ever fohever mylever gever jever minever pass through these woods!" "Ok, we will return with a shrubbery." "One that looks nice." "Of course." "And not to expensive." "Sure thing." "Now be off! Ni!" The whole tiem the Detective was talkng to them he was slowly manuevering around them. He was now on the other side and started running towards Tony's house. After a million half seconds he was there! Toyn was waiting for him when he got to the door. "Well it took you long enough Detective!" "I coudlnt find your house." "This is the only house in the neighborhood!" "Exactly." "Well what do you want?" "A few things. They have to do with Pie, Ni! and carrosels." "It wasnt me! He died cause it broke." "Im not worried about the carrosels." "Hallelujah, Hallelujah!" "But what about the Knights who say Ni!?" "What about them?" "They wouldnt let me come here!" "Well your here now arent you?" "Yes." "Ok then." "I also have reason to believe you ate all the pie!" "Me? No. Never." "Yes you did." "Well how do you know mr. Smartpants?" "Well I see them in your house from here..." "Oh yeah well, KILLER ATTACK!!" And it was at that moment when the scariest thing the Detective had ever seen hopped out of the front door...
