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OffTopic

Surf a Flood of random discussion.
7/22/2005 9:52:31 AM
36

Behind Zanzibarian Lines.... With Peaunut Butter.

Oh no!! Oh yea! Another crappy Flood story! Captain Crotchpants has decided to throw in his two cents in the writing world. I have one part written, give me some feedback on whether or not I should continue the saga. Enjoy. "What exactly are we doing here again?" Sparty sounded worried. This was his first mission. I'd be worried too. "I told myself I'd never step foot in this place. It's suicide man!" Sparty was getting restless. Crapdancemagee just stared out the chopper window. "Were you paying attention during briefing? There's a riot, and we're being sent to control it." I replied. "I know... I'm just nervous.. that's all.. just talking to keep from thinking about the mission..." I lied; Sparty was petrified. "There's riots and flame wars all the time in Zanzibar. Why's this one so special?" asked Crapdance "This time the Zanzibarians are threating the Flood. We can't take that laying down." I replied. "This is madness" Moaned Sparty "Just calm down, We'll be fine." I wish I had Crapdances optimism. I knew the mission was futile. The Zanzibarians have been getting worse. The riots and flame wars are increasing in size and number. It's only a matter of time before they break out and invade the Flood. We couldn't let that happen. So HQ's idea of a solution was put together a rag tag army and send them in. Crapdancemagee and myself were the only two experienced fighters. Sparty was an aspiring new recruit, and all ready making a name for himself as the token quickshot. But, this was his first real mission. Let's hope he performs as well under pressure... A few silent hours later, And the Island of Zanzibar came into full view. It would have been a beautiful sight, if it wasn't scalding from all the flame wars. As we descended towards the island, the shouts of fanbois could be heard like the cry of a feral hyena, and the smell of burning Halo 2 filled the air. To be continued..... --I just realised, I spelt peanut butter wrong.... nah, I'm not gonna change it. [Edited on 7/22/2005]
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#Offtopic #Flood

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] GruntHaven It wasn't mine either but now I love it. All you have to do is think about what they would be doing while their talking. Try not to use 'said' or 'replied' at all and just put in an action after their dialogue. It sounds better and people will praise you more for a more in depth story. - Haven[/quote] Thanky GruntHaven, I'll remeber that when writing part two. And madcoconut....your time will come.

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