It's good. Honestly the whole war thing is a bit cliche now though. Still, it's good -- your grammar and spelling were good, and you actually switched to a new line when characters exchanged dialogue. THANK YOU. You also have some humor and descriptive words. However, it's nothing fabulous. Just something that isn't bad to read. You also correctly called the magazine a magazine and not a clip, and you obviously know the parts of a firearm. If it means anything though (this is being very picky), the magazine doesn't go into the reciever -- it goes into the magazine well. The reciever is where many of the key operating parts(hammer, trigger, sear, disconnector, blah blah blah) are kept. [Edited on 05.26.2010 11:49 PM PDT]