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7/7/2011 7:00:23 PM
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Disembodied Soul Simulator - The Return
Way back when Bungie had a support site. The Support site featured the ability to talk to the soul of a guy who released an early beta of Marathon: Infinity, and then put the wrong labels on the shipping discs!
His job was simple: answering your questions (with a smile).
Unfortunately, when Bungie.net was revamped in 2004, The Soul became a bearer of bad news for all Bungie.net members (literally). Two community members (poena.dare and Gholsbane) decided that leaving the Soul in it's current state was unfitting for his injustices, and decided to duplicate him for the [i]sole[/i] purpose of answering questions again.
When poena.dare's site went down (and the Soul broke free), I took on the reins of the beast. Though not perfect by any means, it gets the job done.
[url=http://www.duardo.net/soul]You will find him here, waiting for you.[/url] He may be a little mean, but he won't hurt you (much).
[quote]The page has remain almost unchanged from poena.dare's site. I will be making updates soon. I wanted this to be released for Bungie Day.
Feel free to post your conversations with the Soul in the thread. [url=http://www.bungie.net/News/content.aspx?cid=58]Here's an early example[/url] of what awaits you.[/quote]
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Soul......Has...........Escaped.
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[quote]Question: What is the meaning of life? The soul says: To crush enemies in battle. To drive them before you. To hear the lamentations of the women.[/quote] That is definitely the soul. Now I'm officially creeped out he has escaped, yet again!
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Durado needs to add some more responses.
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Hurray, it lives!
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It's like a better version of that clever bot thing that is floating around somewhere.
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Conversation, Me: "So are you really dead?" Soul: "What do you think, bub?" Me: "I think your dead" Soul: "Leave me alone. You're interfering with my slow crawl towards infinity." Me: "So you are dead?" Soul: "What do you think, bub?" Me: "As I said before, I think your dead!" Soul: "Leave me alone. You're interfering with my slow crawl towards infinity." Me: "Fine"
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Me: Tits or tush? The Soul: Do you mean breasts?
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] King Nis085 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] ArmourElite LMAO, type 'Achronos' into it.[/quote] The soul says: Achronos is also called Tommy Two-G's by those familiar with his mafia past.[/quote] From the looks of him [url=http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080903194960/bungie/images/6/67/Mods.jpg](guy on the far right)[/url] he was probably the big pimmpin' boss.
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:( Everytime i ask it a question with the word "Halo" in it I get the same answer. The same goes for "Bungie" and "Duardo".
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] ArmourElite LMAO, type 'Achronos' into it.[/quote] The soul says: Achronos is also called Tommy Two-G's by those familiar with his mafia past.
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Q: John 117? A: I'm a little unclear, would you please elaborate? Q: Who is he? A: I can't help with that. Q: Bull-blam!-! You're the one with all the answers, I know you know who he is! A: Leave me alone. You're interfering with my slow crawl towards infinity. Q: Know what else is gonna be real interfering? My foot up your ass! A: What's your definition of real? Q: Now that's not fair. How can we have a conversation if you don't even come from the same plane of logic as me. A: Let's not talk about that. Let's talk about something fun. Q: *Sigh* Okay, what do you want to talk about? A: I agree with the guacamole. Q: Goddammit! A: God has no place here. Not while I'm in charge. Q: Oh, so you're perfect then? A: I'm not sure that's something I can help you with. Q: Can you help me with your mom? A: Your mom is so fat she eats wheat thicks. *Laughs hysterically* Q: Your mama's so fat, she puts a piece of paper on the TV screen and says, "Look. Paper-view". A: Your mom is so fat she eats wheat thicks. Q: Already used that one, is that all you've got? A: What the hell kind of question is that?!! Q: Hey -blam!- you Soul! A: Ooh, I'm impressed. Q: Go to hell! A: You certainly have a point. Please continue. Q: GAAAAHH!!! A: Try using complete sentences. Don't belittle me.
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[i]Disembodied Soul Simulator: The Return[/i] This time it's [im]personal.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Ijnek O Nobles Me:Duardo is cool or no? Him:Not as cool as my dog. Me:You have a dog? Him:Ralfie. Me:Is he Italian? Him:I don't think that means what you think it means. Me:Why? Him:I'm a soul, not a mind reader. Try saying what you really mean. Me:Does your dog taste like lasagna? Him:Ralfie. Me:Yes, Ralfie. Him:Ralfie guards the gates to the darkest depths of the bungie.net metaserver. Not too interesting conversation, but ok.[/quote]He has no soul.
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Me:Duardo is cool or no? Him:Not as cool as my dog. Me:You have a dog? Him:Ralfie. Me:Is he Italian? Him:I don't think that means what you think it means. Me:Why? Him:I'm a soul, not a mind reader. Try saying what you really mean. Me:Does your dog taste like lasagna? Him:Ralfie. Me:Yes, Ralfie. Him:Ralfie guards the gates to the darkest depths of the bungie.net metaserver. Not too interesting conversation, but ok.
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I love these programs! Also cleverbot is cool.
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[quote]Question:What do you think of the flood? The soul says:A cesspool that I love. I PM many individuals who frequent that forum.[/quote] lol [quote]Question:Are you scared? The soul says:No, but you should be.[/quote] Looks like I'm not getting any sleep tonight
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Question: How do I become a man? The soul says: Let's not talk about that. Let's talk about something fun. Edit:Question: Can I be an employee? The soul says: PM Duardo. Duardo? Dohoho. ;D [Edited on 08.13.2011 11:20 PM PDT]
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Q: Armor Lock A: Go complain about it in Reach forums. Q: Shishka A: I make him cry Q: Slingshot A: Ah, you seek the source of my power... never! Q: Trolling A: Ah, you seek the source of my power... never! [Edited on 08.13.2011 11:10 PM PDT]
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This is what I typed... Q: Are you -blam!-? A: [i]Probably not.[/i] Q:How do you know? A:[i]My brain hurts.[/i] Are you adopted? [i]You certainly have a point. Please continue.[/i] -blam!- off. [i]Ooh, I'm impressed.[/i] What secrets are in Halo Reach? [i]Go away[/i] Do you love me? [i]Sure I love you. It's me, not you.[/i] Twat. [i]Is this a trick question?[/i] Can I have your babies? [i]You're trying my patience[/i] urk [i]His words are magical[/i] Jason Jones [i]The man. The myth. The legend.[/i] Bungie [i] Bungie has enslaved me and forced me to answer questions. I was bad.[/i] Chuck Norris [i]What kind of question was that?!![/i] I love you. [i]It's not love, it's infatuation.[/i] -blam!- (p.enis) [i]A -blam!-! That would be grand![/i] -blam!- (vagin.a) [i]Can we change the subject please?[/i] foman [i]You should ask him about his mom. I hear she gets around.[/i] Are you bi-blam!-? [i]That's not really my specialty.[/i] I'm going to kill you. [i]I consider the extraction of life a metamorphosis of sorts...[/i] I'm going to ram my fist in to your stomach and break your spine. [i]OK. Watch your back.[/i] Where do you live? [i]I live in the deepest bowels of the Bungie metaserver.[/i] Angry German Kid [i]Guttentagen.[/i] -blam!- [i]PM Duardo.[/i] [Edited on 08.13.2011 11:44 PM PDT]
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Well. I had a fun argument [b]Me[/b]: Hello nitwitt [b]Soulman[/b]: Hello do you have a question? [b]Me[/b]: How old are you? [b]Soulman[/b]: I am fine and dandy. And you? [b]Me[/b]: No No, how OLD are you? [b]Soulman[/b]: I am fine and dandy. And you? [b]Me[/b]: Grrrrrr [b]Soulman[/b]: PM Duardo [b]Me[/b]: Why should I PM Duardo? [b]Soulman[/b]: Have you PM'd Duardo lately? [b]Me[/b]: No [b]Soulman[/b]: That question has many answers [b]Me[/b]: That wasn't a question I was just telling you no [b]Soulman[/b]: PM Duardo [b]Me[/b]: Why? [b]Soulman[/b]: Let's not talk about that. Let's talk about something fun [b]Me[/b]: Your an idiot [b]Soulman[/b]: You certainly have a point. Please continue [b]Me[/b]: You Suck. [b]Soulman[/b]: NO. You Suck [b]Me[/b]: No. You Suck [b]Soulman[/b]: NO. You Suck . . . . . . [Edited on 08.13.2011 11:13 PM PDT]
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This is hilarious! [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] H0FFman J Interesting... [quote]Question: [b]Hello soul how are you doing today?[/b] The soul says: [b]I'm fine and dandy. And you?[/b] Question: [b]I'm doing quite good[/b] The soul says :[b] That seems pretty abstract. Maybe you're not thinking it through correctly.[/b] Question:[b]Wait? Are you saying that my life is not thought out correctly?[/b] The soul says: [b]Please repeat the question, I was distracted for a moment. You now have my undivided attention, I promise. [/b] Question: [b]Were you staring at tits again?[/b] The soul says: [b]Do you mean breasts?[/b] Question: [b]No, I mean the birds, your ornithological knowledge seems limited to me.[/b] The soul says: [b]Know? How do you mean?[/b] Question: [b]I mean that you weren't able to decipher that I was talking about a species of birds .[/b] The soul says:[b] I agree with the guacamole.[/b] Question: [b]Was that a Joke?[/b] The soul says: [b]Your existence is funny enough, human.[/b] Question: [b]My existence?[/b] The soul says:[b] You may be able to find the answer to your question at the Bungie support site.[/b] Question: [b]Wait... what?! Do you mean that Bungie knows the secrets of the universe?[/b] The soul says: [b]Usually, I answer questions. Sometimes I haunt things.[/b] Question: [b]that's cool, have you haunted someone interesting lately?[/b] The soul says:[b] You're pretty cool yourself. Not as cool as me though.[/b] Question: [b]Thanks, your flattering me, but your avoiding my question.[/b] The soul says:[b] No problem.[/b] Question: [b]You are doing it again![/b] The soul says: [b]Can we change the subject please.[/b] Question: [b]screw you![/b] The soul says: [b]Did you just wink at me?[/b][/quote][/quote]
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This is awesome!
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Back To The Future reference FTW
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[quote]Do you love Phoenix1710? - I don't want to talk about it.[/quote]:'(
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Question: Has the Webmaster kicked your -blam-? Answer: That question has many answers. lol
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One word: Awesome. In fact: Awesome to the max! Duardo, you're a legend!
