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Edited by StudyOfWumbo: 11/24/2015 6:08:10 AM
47

I tried finding a job the other day...

>be me >come home from school >Dad texts me >asks if I have a job for the fall >Tell him no >JimmiesOfficiallyRustled.jpg >He tells me that he actually took it upon himself to get some applications from stores in the neighbourhood >K > go home and find the applications >It's still early in the day so I decide to fill some out and check out the different job opportunities >Cue 80's movie montage >first application is at a 7/11 >Fired for chuckling after being asked how long I would be working here. >I said that 7/11 was a part time job >move to next job offer, working at subway >Fired when I made comments about Jared >NotSurprising.jpg >10 jobs later >working at Italian restaurant >Dad texts me, he's mad >"this is the last job offer, if you screw this up so help me god" >Italiano boss comes outta nowhere, yells at me to "get-a to work" >start washing dishes because I can't cook well >Look out small window where we place food to be taken by waiters to tables >Boss waddles around the kitchen and out the door to greet customers >guy walks in >"welcome-a to Mario and luigi-a's Italiano cuisine restaurante" >Not sure if it's an act or if he's serious >No really I was confused at this point >for a brief second I chuckle and he turns around >He stares at me >It's the stare that says "So help-a me god, I will tell-a the don what you did and he's-a gonna strangle you with-a piece a linguini" >Look down quickly >the customer orders and the chief hurries back to the kitchen >"hey-a new guy. This-a your chance to a really impress-a me-a" >He hands me a pot and a bunch of pasta n sauce >"that-a guy is a the health inspector, ay? >"I'm trusting-a you to make-a him a bowl of our best-a Italian dish." >It's called "Pasta, from Mamma" it's-a generic but it doesn't matter, yes? Now get-a to work" >He leaves to converse with the health inspector >Incredibly paranoid because this has to be perfect >almost burn food several times >Almost ruin it multiple times >cooking mamma would not be pleased with my shenanigans here >The chef calls for the food nervously >I guess he ran out of discussion topics >Remember it's the last job I have, after that I have to start looking again >can't let parents down >Pick up plate of pasta >open door from kitchen >Inspector sitting at other end of room >Begin walking >Plate starts slipping out of my hands >Inspector and boss stares as I start stumbling >Tripping on my own feet >My palms are sweaty >knees weak >arms are heavy >it's fallen out of the platter already >Mamma's spaghetti

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