She was quick.
Quicker than most, and she used that attribute to the fullest. A hunter, continuing to remain unseen by the other Guardians in this crucible match, she carried with her a sniper that has yet to let her down. She preferred not to get up close and personal, so a long range rifle capable of decapitation had her name written all over it.
She jumped up on a perch, perfectly hidden by the Venusian tree leaves as she aimed down her scope.
[i]From a thousand yards.. I can stare you down.[/i]
That reoccurring thought played in her head as she had her sights aimed on a lone warlock. Putting the reticle square on his dome, she inched her finger ever so closer to pulling the trigger.
[i]And from a thousand yards.. I can end you.[/i]
She took a deep breath and held it, and time seemed to slow down. At that moment, her world was frozen in silence. Until..
"TITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!"
She immediately looked up, losing her target and becoming unusually startled. Out of nowhere, she was tackled onto the ground, her favorite sniper falling off the edge. She instinctively pulled out her knife and looked up at her attacker.
"I. Found.."
The Titan growled as he took a moment to pump his shotgun, intimidating the hunter even more.
"[i]You.[/i]"
She gripped her knife even harder, any harder and she would've broke it. She spoke.
"Yeah.. It seems like you did. What, do you want me to give you a cookie?" She smarted.
The Titan lowered his shotgun for a second. "Was.. Was that a fat joke?"
"Uh, no. Well, it wasn't intended to be.."
"Oh. Alright.. Anyway." The Titan quickly raised his shotgun again, aiming it straight at the defeated hunter. "Bottom line, I found you. And now you're through. See you starside, you lit-"
"LOOK! OVER THERE! AN UNDEFENDED AREA THAT IS IN DESPERATE NEED OF A WALL!" The hunter shouted, never thinking so fast in her life.
The Titan frantically turned around, losing all concentration. "OH MY GOD, WHERE!?"
The sly hunter took this opportunity and leaped with every ounce of her strength, her knife ready to embed itself into the distracted Titan.
"Take this you son of a- Hey ow!!" She yelped in pain. The Titan without even looking back had grabbed the arm she held her knife and began to squeeze. The hunter tried to get away, she kicked and pulled as it felt like her arm had a thousand pounds crushing it. He slowly looked back.
"You lied. All I see is ocean. You expect me to build a wall in the ocean on Venus? The ocean itself could act as a wall, y'know. Just more.. Oceany."
The hunter stopped struggling as the Titan threw her, landing on her back. She looked up for the last time as the barrel of his shotgun met her gaze.
[i]So, this is it huh? Oh well. Had a good run, I suppose. You win some, you lose some.[/i] A thought ran through the hunters mind. She closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable.
She heard him pull the trigger, and the shotgun was fired.
But instead of bullets, something else hit her. Something.. Soft. [i]Fluffy.[/i]
"Bark! Bark bark!"
She opened her eyes and she saw..
"A puppy!? Your shotgun shoots.. [i][u][b]puppies!?[/b][/u][/i]
"Hey! Look, ever since shotguns were 'adjusted' they just don't hit like they used to. Don't blame me."
"They don't hit at all! They shoot puppies! Cute ones!
The Titan sighed. "It doesn't always shoot puppies!"
"Okay. Sure. Have you actually killed a guardian with that thing?"
"The closest I got to a kill was last week during a game of clash. I shot a cupcake at a guardian who had diabetes."
"Really?"
The Titan nodded. "Yep. Ask butterbutt, he was there."
"Bark!" The puppy agreed.
The hunter got a look of guilt on her face. "Wow.. They.. They really hit shotguns hard, didn't they? I'm really sorry. In my opinion, they weren't that much of a problem."
"You mean that? Honestly?"
The hunter smiled. "Course I do. I mean, you're a Titan. You're built for close quarters. What better weapon than to have at your side than a shotgun?"
"Aw.. Thanks, hunter. You really do understand. Here, from me to you." The Titan readied his shotgun and from the barrel shot a bouquet of freshly picked roses. The hunter, not expecting this, almost dropped them. "Woah. These.. These are for me?" She asked.
"Yes. All for you. To be honest, I always thought you huntresses were kinda.. Cute. And really hot when you guys Blink."
The hunter got a smile on her face. "You're too sweet. And Titans look so manly when they're crushing people with lightning or defending others in your little bubbles. It's so cool!"
The Titan and the hunter shared a beautiful moment, bonding like never before. But out in the distance, a warlock was observing closely.
"Is that a hunter and a Titan talking as if they're not enemies!? No! The two classes must not bond! It will upset the balance! I cannot allow this!"
The Warlock ran over there, as fast as he possible could.
The Titan chuckled, "So dinner at the tower next Tuesday?"
"Sounds wonderful." The hunter smiled.
Before they could even react, there was the warlock, high in the air with a nova bomb primed and ready.
"I MUST RESTORE CLASS BALANCE! YAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"
"Wait, what!?"
"Oh no, watch out!"
But it was too late. The nova bomb had impacted, annihilating them both. The warlock floofed down onto his feet, and breathes deep.
"It is done. Those two are gone, and balance returns to the Traveler."
Instantly, the warlock started grieving. "WHY!? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO NERF SHOTGUNS, BUNGIE!? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY- oh look a puppy!"
"Bark bark!"
The warlock picked it up and gave a mischievous laugh.
"I'm gonna make your skull into an exotic."
[i]End.[/i]
[spoiler]Just a stupid story I made up. Hope you like it![/spoiler]
Oh, and this.
THE PUPPY
Warlock Exotic Helmet
[i]Who let the dogs out?[/i]
Exotic perk: Pick of the litter
Gives increased armor for every Titan kill, increased agility for every hunter kill, and increased recovery for every warlock kill.
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Nekrobump
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Edited by kurona7: 11/26/2015 9:11:54 PMNice and yah I did think shotguns weren't that big of a problem so maybe a small nerf is what I was kind if imagining but it looks just as long as Santa's naughty list. Hope the quantity is of each reduction is super small. Don't want to kill shotguns even if I don't use them. But yes a small nerf is needed to make fusion rifles an actual consideration since they just got like the smallest buff.
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This was, by far, the cringeworthy thing I have ever read. And I've read plenty of 10yr olds on this forum.
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Pretty good story but unfort this is the 4th shotgun nerf. I'm starting to think they will always one shot u from a crazy distance. Bungie doesn't know how or care to fix it.
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Donald Trump uses Titans to build his wall...
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Quite funny actually, nice
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Quality piece of literature
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[quote]"The closest I got to a kill was last week during a game of clash. I shot a cupcake at a guardian who had diabetes."[/quote] PRICELESS...
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This is amazing
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The Warlock should not of messed with what could of been a beautiful companionship. Or turn it into a threesome, either way.
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As a Warlock who enjoys ruining beautiful moments, I approve this message.
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Damn forums are full of potential authors
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Why warlock.... WHY???
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[quote]Before they could even react, there was the warlock, high in the air with a nova bomb primed and ready. "I MUST RESTORE CLASS BALANCE! YAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" "Wait, what!?" "Oh no, watch out!" But it was too late. The nova bomb had impacted, annihilating them both. The warlock floofed down onto his feet, and breathes deep. "It is done. Those two are gone, and balance returns to the Traveler." Instantly, the warlock started grieving. "WHY!? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO NERF SHOTGUNS, BUNGIE!? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY- oh look a puppy!"[/quote] Lost it here xD this whole story is great.
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I WANT THE PUPPY!
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[quote]"The closest I got to a kill was last week during a game of clash. I shot a cupcake at a guardian who had diabetes.".[/quote] A+++ 5 stars. 10/10
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Pure gold right here.
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Well done again sir.
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Patch 2.0.3: Shotguns: Fixed a glitch where shotguns actually fired projectiles. Shotguns are obviously melee weapons. To emphasize their role as melee weapons, shotgun weight has been increased by a factor of five. No longer will your 6 lb shotgun with reflex sights aim and handle faster than your 16 lb sniper rifle. Additional recoil across the entire Stability stat range. That's totally irrelevant in PvP anyway, so why not? Slower reload speed across the entire Reload stat range. This change was implemented while we were all really, really drunk. Luckily, it doesn't do anything in PvP. Slower time to Aim Down Sights for all shotguns. Slower base movement speed when Shotguns are the active weapon. Add 2 frames delay when firing out of sprint. Shotguns are really heavy now, remember? That's like a real thing, right? Increase base damage against AI combatants to 1.6x (was 1.55x). We were trying to make a phallic reference here, but HR said we could get sued. Nerds.
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This says otherwise https://i.imgur.com/9ZBfr7u.jpg
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I would pay silver to shoot a cupcake at someone That would make me use a shot gun
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Too long... Someone reply on a scale of McDonald's all day breakfast menu to murica how funny is it