The company behind the famed "Suros Regime" has yet again announced another product recall saying that "the time to kill is still to high" and they would try to bring it over the TTK minimum, that opposing competitors in the crucible are very fond of whilst holding their OHK shotguns, and fusion rifles. The primary fusion rifle manufacturer has announced that they are also recalling a majority of their products, to be replaced with inferior ones, so as to increase the spread to comply with Crucible standards and prevent the obscenely overpowered weapon from cross mapping Guardians, however this has had little lasting impact on the average fusion rifle user. The main manufacturer of AP-rounds has announced that they will stop selling their premium AP rounds and only sell, cheap knockoff's they found in the bottom of a well. The reason for this sudden downgrade is the constant complaints shotgun users complaining about being "wallbanged" while standing with their back against a wall firing at anything that moves right in front of them, in a tactic commonly refered to as "camping". An unidentified source from inside the company also said the company wanted Omnigul and Valus, to be able to have a reasonable chance of defeating the guardians so they could sell them more inferior products. All of this military hardware meant to fight the invaders, being "nerfed" for the sake of the crucible crowd. We're all going to die. Back to you NBAH3. "In other news, pulse rifle manufacturers have decided to replace their original confetti rounds with actual bullets. Sources say the the confetti rounds were "certainly festive, but likely not the optimal choice for slaying minions of the darkness, Back to you Walrus" Thank you NBAH3, thats all the time we have for today folks... See you next time.