THE LIFE OF THREE CLASSES, A SERIES Warlock: Intelligent, proper, intelligent, likes to use big words Hunter: Doesn't like to listen to those words known as "reason" and "logic", doesn't like big words Titan: Loves Twinkies, and doughnuts, also not one for intelligence more than the Hunter, doesn't understand big words, therefore, making him not like them -TOWER- [b]Warlock[/b]: *Walks in to see a Hunter napping* Hello, fellow Guardian. [b]Hunter[/b]: *Snorts, waking up* Wha--huh...? [b]Warlock[/b]: I just wanted to ask you which of these-- *Holds up two robes* Do you prefer? [b]Hunter[/b]: ...Is that a [i]dress[/i]? PFFFFFF-- [b]BWAHAHAAHA[/b], it [b]is[/b]! It's a [b]DRESS[/b]! [b]Warlock[/b]: That's preposterous! It's not a "dress" it's a-- [b]Hunter[/b]: *Rolling around laughing* BWAHAHAHA, IT'S A [b]BATHROBE[/b]! [b]Warlock[/b]: It is [b]not[/b]! It's a-- [b]Hunter[/b]: *Pounding his fists on the ground, laughing* [b]Warlock[/b]: ...Oh nevermind... -TOWER- [b]Warlock[/b]: *In a therapy session with another Warlock* ...And then the ignoramus Hunter said I "floof" too much and started to call me "Floofy", then his other Hunter friends joined in and they started calling me "Floofy" as well. I attempted to glide away from the nonsense but before I managed to get far off from the ground, one of them grabbed my leg and said "Don't run away, floofy wittle bunny, we were just playing!" And they were supposed to be on my Fireteam! [b]Therapist Warlock[/b]: Mmm, have you tried Blinking? [b]Warlock[/b]: I'm not upgraded to that yet... -ISHTAR SINK, VENUS- *A large horde of Vex block the only way to reach Sekrion, Nexus Mind* [b]Warlock[/b]: *Peers from a cave, as the Titan and Hunter, then, the Warlock turns to them and they huddle together* Alright, first, I will distract the Vex! [b]Titan[/b]: Uh-huh... [b]Hunter[/b]: *Rolls eyes underneath helmet, awaiting the Warlock's plan* [b]Warlock[/b]: Titan, you will disorientate them! [b]Titan[/b]: Uh-huh... *Has no idea what that word means* [b]Warlock[/b]: Hunter, you will adopt a 90 degree evasion from a Vex, uppercutting it with your knife! [b]Hunter[/b]: *Takes off his gloves to clean under his nails with his knife. basically ignoring the Warlock and just grunts* [b]Warlock[/b]: Titan, you will once again discombobulate them! [b]Titan[/b]: Uhh...yeah... [b]Warlock[/b]: ...You have no idea what I just said, do you? Just, PUNCH. [b]Titan[/b]: Okay! I know how to punch, I know how to punch real good. LIKE THIS-- *Punches the Hunter's arm into numbness.* [b]Hunter[/b]: OOF-- ...*Drops his knife, trying not to cry his eyes out and he just holds his arm* [b]Warlock[/b]: ...Are you two quite finished? [b]Titan[/b]: When do I get to punch stuff?! [b]Warlock[/b]: Just wait heathen-- I-I mean, wait...And then I will enter the fray-- [b]Titan[/b]: I gotta get in there, [b]I HAVE TO PUNCH STUFF[/b]!!! *Jumps in and Fist of Havocs EVERYTHING* [b]Hunter[/b]: *Making a makeshift cast for his arm* Nice planning, Floofy... [b]Warlock[/b]: [b]I AM NOT FLOOFY[/b]-- *A few minutes later* [b]Warlock[/b]: *Sighs, reviving the Hunter and Titan* -TOWER, EVENING- [b]Titan[/b]: *Tucked into bed by the Warlock, getting ready for sleepy-time...with his armor still on* Can you tell me a story? [b]Warlock[/b]: But of course! I can read you Shakespeare, o-or a nice poem or-- [b]Titan[/b]: Mary had a Little Lamb! [b]Warlock[/b]: ...That's a lullaby-- [b]Titan[/b]: [b]Mary[/b]. [b]Had[/b]. [b]A[/b]. [b]Little[/b]. [b][i]Lamb[/i][/b]. [b]Warlock[/b]: *Immediately puts on lamb-like armor and starts singing and dancing* M-Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb, Mary had a little lamb who's fleece was white as snow-- [b]Titan[/b]: *Eventually falls asleep* [b]Warlock[/b]: *Sighs* Finall-- [b]Hunter[/b]: Hey Warlock, check out my frabjous cloak-- *Sees the Warlock in a practical lamb-suit, and backs away...slowly....* [spoiler]BONUS STORIES[/spoiler] -CITY POLICE DEPARTMENT, MIDNIGHT- *Interrogation room, the Speaker's foot is cuffed to the foot of the table, he is also handcuffed, he hums to himself as he waits for the Warlock and Hunter to come in to interrogate him* [b]Warlock[/b]: *Walks in and sits in front of the Speaker* We just have to wait for the Hunter... [b]Speaker[/b]: If that is what you wish... *Moments later the Hunter comes in with a lampshade over his head, laughing through his helmet* [b]Hunter[/b]: *Looks behind him, laughing* That was some party guys! I'll see you guys next Friday! *The Hunter gets dolphin chatter in reply, also narwhal chatter and the Hunter looks at the Warlock and Speaker* ...Am I late...? [b]Warlock[/b]: Fortunately, no... I'm about to start questioning the Speaker... [b]Hunter[/b]: *Throws off the lampshade, in a brooding serious manner and looks at the camera dramatic-like* Let's roll... *Has a seat next to the Warlock* [b]Warlock[/b]: ...Ok, Speaker, you must be well aware Master Rahool was found bruised and bloodied in the Tower's alleyway? [b]Speaker[/b]: ...Mmm, I could tell you, if I was given my rights first... [b]Warlock[/b]: [b]UGH[/b], anything you say can and will be used against you, etc, etc-- [b]Hunter[/b]: You just said "etc" twice-- [b]Warlock[/b]: It doesn't [b]matter[/b]! Now, Speaker, bruised and blooded, what are you knowledgeable of? Word on the street is Shaxx was also involved in this, he's being taken in for questioning as soon as our Titan finds appropriately sized handcuffs for him... [b]Speaker[/b]: I could tell you, of our secret planning, how we [b]were[/b] going to only [b]speak[/b] to Rahool until...[b]it[/b] happened... [b]Hunter[/b]: Wait, what...? [b]Warlock[/b]: D...Do you want to speak to a lawyer? You're going to give a confession, but at the same time [b]not[/b] give a confession... [b]Speaker[/b]: *Ignoring the Hunter and Warlock* I could tell you of how a dozen angry guardians beat Rahool in turn because he gave them terrible decryptions-- *Meanwhile* [b]Titan[/b]: *Attempting to handcuff Lord Shaxx, but each set breaks* ...I have another spare in my jumpship I think... [b]Lord Shaxx[/b]: ...Ok. *A few minutes later the Titan comes back with medieval style stocks and finally brings Shaxx into the room with the Speaker, Hunter, and Warlock* [b]Titan[/b]: Hey guys! I got him! [b]Hunter[/b]: *Fell asleep on the desk* [b]Warlock[/b]: *Snorts awake, half asleep, and yawns* Bring him in... [b]Titan[/b]: *Sits Shaxx down, or rather, Shaxx sits himself down.* [b]Shaxx[/b]: *Chuckles* You three are a motley crew aren't you...? [b]Hunter[/b], [b]Titan[/b], and [b]Warlock[/b]: WE'RE NOT MOTLEY-- [b]TO BE CONTINUED[/b] [b]EDIT[/b]: Ok guys, I'm gonna have to make my own threads for this, I unexpectedly have just found my calling. [quote]https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/105643634/0/0[/quote]