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3/1/2015 3:35:40 PM
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A "WTF" moment in your life
Allow me to share a story with you all:
A long time ago when I was younger I was cursed with a physical appearance defect, which is to say I looked like a girl. Many people thought I was a girl so much so that at the time of where this happened I had many "girlfriends" so to speak. So one day my parents took me to the pool and we stayed there for God knows how long and then suddenly these three guys come up to me and one of them ask "would you like to go out with me?"
Appalled by this I delivered my response in the most efficient, courteous, and the calmest matter I could and said: "Dude...I'm a dude." Now being serious for second, two of these guys took my word for it and backed off...then this one dude THIS INE BALLSY DUDE decided to test his luck... I'll let you think on that for a sec... Done? Ok. So this guy looks dead at me for a second and then he did something that I never thought would ever happen to me in my life... Still got that guess in your head? Ok then, He grabbed my junk, and I don't mean he screwed around and went for it like a little kid would be just went in all in or all nothing. If you were in my position you would give him an "F" for common sense CONSIDERING HE STOOD THERE FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES STRAIGHT but you would give him an "A+" for balls for the exact same reason. So then once that happened I said to him "So now that you've gotten a good grip on my junk would you mind letting go?" Then this idiot just starts freakin out all over the place screaming saying "Gaaaaaaay" or something this that or the other and I say "Yeeeaaaaaaah you're gonna call me gay after you just touched up on my balls that's just...wonderful bro you do that" After that I just left and went home...
So tell me has anyone ever had a terrible experience like this or anything adjacent?
English
#Offtopic
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Edited by Apollo: 5/23/2015 10:11:00 PM>MFW when he grabbed your balls
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This one time I was at a restaurant and sitting at a table across from me was an actual ninja. So I'm watching this dude and his waiter comes up and drops a spoon. No joke the ninja flipped out lost his shit and uppercut the entire town.
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1 ReplyParents found out my tumblr [spoiler]i was forced to delete my blog ;n;[/spoiler]
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9 RepliesEMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANAEMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANAEMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANAEMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHANA EMMA 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EMMA LAHANA EMMA LAHAN FK
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Necrobump
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Edited by Not That Guy: 3/3/2015 7:58:58 PMA dude from ISIS once jumped in my window and yelled ALLAH AKBAR!!! Then got shot by a US solider. I then said "K" and proceeded to watch YouTube on my phone
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4 RepliesWhen I forgot to pray to Emma Lahana
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When you realize the dress is red, blue and green because you saw it pixelated
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1 ReplyI got jumped by like 6 girls who thought I was this guy who cheated on all of them. I once saw a kid crying being chased by a Chihuahua. Teacher asked a question and I raised my hand and answered. Got it wrong. Another kid gives the same answer, gets it right. Dropped a pen once. Rolled 30 feet away,underneath a door and got stepped on by a fat guy. Saw a teacher arguing with a student about Yu Gi Oh.
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1 ReplyI had a pet hampster and let him outside to run and a bird came by and snatched him up. I miss little Hamlet, so young and innocent! Whhhhyyyyyy!!!!!?!???!?!?!? :,( Like if u crie eri tiem
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6 RepliesThis is the story behind my long face. It started out when I was playing in the driveway as a kid. My father didn't see me when he got into the car and went to work. It was only after he felt the bump and heard my scream that he realized he ran over me. The tire pushed my face into the pavement and stretched it wide. He immediately called 911 and within 10 minutes, an ambulance arrived and put me onto a gurney and started on their way to the hospital. Unfortunately, they ran over an open manhole, causing the whole vehicle to bounce. They hadn't restrained me yet, so I flew up and hit my already injured face on the cieling, adding more trauma to the injury. When they got to the hospital, they rushed me in. Unfortunately, there was a new wing being constructed and one of the worked accidentally knocked over a bucket of bricks, just as the gurney passed the scaffolding. All the contents of the bucket, plus the bucket, fell right on my face, exacerbating the already critical situation. They finally got me to an E.R, controlled the bleeding, mended my skull, and stitched up my wounds. I had to stay in the hospital for a few weeks to recovery. After I got well enough to go home, I was about to walk out the door when another ambulance arrived and the medics rushed the gurney through the door. It flew open and slammed right into my face, busting all the stitches and rebreaking my bones. After going through another 3 week recovery and then going home, I was able to heal fully. I also went through my plastic surgery so that my face looked normal again. But then one night I accidentally walked in on my parents having sex. And that memory is why I have a long face
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7 RepliesPikachu, pika pikachu. Pika pi. Pikachu, ika chu pikachu pika pikaaa pikachu pika. Pikachu, pika pi. Pikachu, pika pikachu. Pika pi. Pikachu, ika chu pikachu pika pikaaa pikachu pika. Pikachu, pika pi. Pikachu, pika pikachu. Pika pi. Pikachu, ika chu pikachu pika pikaaa pikachu pika. Pikachu, pika pi. Pikachu, pika pikachu. Pika pi. Pikachu, ika chu pikachu pika pikaaa pikachu pika. Pikachu, pika pi.
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Boku no pico in a nutshell?
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1 ReplyReading this thread
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No I haven't, but I look like an extra from Pirates of the Caribbean.
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When I got to my first duty station...
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1 ReplyI had a WTF moment when destiny finished. I thought I had more to do but no....no I didn't
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My biggest wtf moment was my birth ( •-•)
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1 ReplyHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH 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Edited by TheFreshBan: 3/3/2015 1:25:12 PMIn west Philadelphia born and raised On the playground was where I spent most of my days. Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school. When a couple of guys who were up to no good. Started making trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared. She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'
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Edited by Manly Meat Lump: 3/3/2015 12:42:57 PMI walked into Ye Olde Fashion and saw a lady, who was morbidly obese, sitting in a chair with toilet paper hanging out of the front and back of her pants. It looked like she flossed her ass with the toilet paper. I was laughing so hard that another dude with a mullet saw her and started laughing to.
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When I found out it wasn't white and gold...
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Nope... =X I've been approached by a few gay dudes throughout my life... wait wait...I guess it's worse because I was clearly a dude.. I was walking home one day from school or work,... Black car pulls up and dude has money in his hand,speaks no English...kept making the handjob gesture to me and waving the money. So apparently I looked like a gay male hooker? Anyway...I kept walking Another time, Car pulls up,ask me how I've been...I'm like...What? then he asked if I "kicked it on the low" ...Which I calmly responded.."Dude..I don't do that" and he said "aww really" ...Then I felt a little insulted,I said No,went on about my day. I was like 17-18 when that happen...dude was a grown as man. I was working my 1st job,I get called to a car,I was working at a store...naturally I assume a customer needed help. NO! Dude ask if I wanted to make $80 getting my dick sucked. I looked at him and just shook my head no. Then he asked why not?..I asked why he didn't go make the $80 himself, He said nah I don't do that stuff with guys. "and it's a guy? I said" ...Dude says "Does it matter?" speechless,I walked back into the building. Last weird thing I can remember was an old guy sitting in his Cadillac called me to the car...again,I thought a customer needed help with something. He said I was a good looking guy and I could make waaayy more money with him,his girls and his business, he gives me a card. "I say sure,I'll look into it" later,I check the site on the card with my phone. It was for Porn, I died laughing. Told some coworkers I go offered a job doing porn, they laughed...then some got mad I didn't call him back and take him up on the offer....really weird. annnndddd those are some wtf moments in my life.
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When I was a girl this dog came up to me and grabbed my junk. I cried and grew up to be Conan obrien now I'm rich and I got cut in six weeks. Real results! Real fast! I'm 12 btw
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I was cleaning the women's bathroom and found a half eaten chicken nugget i the tampon box by the toilet
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i'm not surprised by anything... any emotion that resembles "surprise" or "shock" is merely an act that i use to pursuade people into believing i'm not a sociopath, when i gain their trust, they come over to my house where i kill them and bury them in cement
