Try opening your disc tray and pouring mayonnaise inside once it is full you need to stand up spin round 3 times shouting go johnny go go go go then hit it with a hammer as hard as you can this works 60% of the time every time
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Honestly, I just can't respond better than that. Well done. Frown upside down and all that.
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Do you do tech support for EA Sports too?
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This guy.