Hey there, sorry for your loss. Unfortunately all cooldowns are mandatory, they cannot be reduced nor bypassed. Also without the XBox account details, you would not be able to disable cross-save, you'd have to approach XBox about the credentials for that.
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I have all of my Xbox credentials, just don't have his steam account that we cross saved to.
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I mixed up Steam and XBox in my reply, but the answer is still basically the same - you'd have to see how Steam handles the accounts of deceased family members and get the login details from them.