Note: Just to be clear, this is all a joke.
Here’s what I consider “class stereotypes”
Titan - Crayon eating mindless apes
Hunter - Whiny
Warlocks - Always in the “Bungie hates warlocks” mindset.
Alright, here we go:
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Titan legs - Crayon Eater Scales (see what I did there)
“YUUMMMMMMM!”
Exotic perk - Supercharged by Crayola
While you are holding a shotgun or fusion rifle, you move twice as fast, gain an beefy overshield, and gain increased damage. Those that dare to damage you get marked (like a pre-nerf OEM)
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Warlock helmet - Nerflock’s Mindset
“Man, nobody likes us Warlocks”
Exotic Perk - Revenge to the Haters
Turns all of your supers/abilities into their pre-nerf state.
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Hunter arms - Crybaby’s Grips
“They say that you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit. I’m not a big fan of that saying” - Unknown Hunter.
Exotic Perk - Temper Tantrum
When you get killed by something that is too OP or is unfair to Hunters, you instantly come back to life and gain truesight, damage resistance, an overshield, and a damage boost. Last for 15 seconds.
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Ah yes, your friendly, neighborhood satire tag
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In the distant future, these should be the last exotics ever added. Like for the big finale, in the last season, when Bungie forgets Destiny and moves on to something else, these will be the last and most important exotics ever added to beat the darkness once and for all.