I can't keep it because my family has too many. It's a a little white guy we think somebody dropped at our house. I got it some water, and we are getting it some food. What else should I do? Nobody has came looking for it yet.
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Doggy style
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You could start by realizing how wrong Mormonism is
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I usually grab the pump shotgun . Make sure to quick and loudly cocker right next the door then creep the door open ... Can I -blam!-ing help you !! It usually ends with a oh I’m sorry wrong house .
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Higher a mercenary
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I totally mistook the title for a different [i]kind[/i] of missionary.
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Tell him you're washed in the blood of the Lamb.
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Ask questions, tight questions, how are they sure that they're not wrong. i've zero 'religiounessss' in me but sometimes i'm keen to hear the other perspective, especially if i'm bored. But usually i just say not interested and slam the the door before 'em.
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They are supposed to travel in pairs. Find the other one, and then tell them you need help with chores around the house because you are injured and ask them to help. They will. Get them to do your laundry, cleaning, yard work, washing your car, etc. Whatever you want. Then thank them even listen to their spiel for a while if you want. Then send them away and when your wife gets home, show her how much hard work you did because you live her so much and want her to have a day to relax. Then later, if she gives you shit for wanting to play video games, remind her of the day you did all the housework and throw that guilt trip right in her face because you just want to relax for a little while and you did all that work for her bit she can't just chill the f out for a couple hours. This is why missionaries contribute to 71% of the world's dovorces.
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tell them to get cnacre
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Put it down like Old Yeller.
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Pee on it to assert dominance
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Try to convert him
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Hide and hope it doesn't burn down your home and steal your riches and call it "manifest destiny"
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Say Good Morning Elder and invite him inside for some cookies
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Give it a bike
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