As requested by a certain 🐼, I will be teaching you how to make Ramen Noodles. This is episode 2 of:
[b][i][u]COOKING. WITH. CYLUS![/u] (Wooooooo)[/i][/b]
Anyways, I'm going to teach you how to make that piece of shit package into the dankest -blam!-ing ramen you've ever had.
[spoiler][b]NOT THE COOKING ONE, I'M HIGH AS -blam!-[/b][/spoiler]
RAMEN PACKETS ×2
GREEN ONIONS (SCALIONS)
SUM DANK ASIAN SPICES[/b]
[spoiler]THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP[/spoiler]
First, you want to get your pot. Smoke it all up cause this meal is best served baked!
[spoiler]please don't bake the ramen, I meant you.[/spoiler]
Then you want to get a large pot and fill it with some agua vrother. That's Spanish for water. Next you want to put that pit full of water on a stove! I have a powerburner, one section of my stove that cooks faster than the rest. If you have that, use it and boil that water!
[spoiler]WHILE YOU BOIL SUM WATER GET DA GOOD POT AND USE IT ALL UP[/spoiler]
Step Two: Pull out a cutting board. Mine is made of wood. Next, get your -blam!-ing garlic and your -blam!-ing green onions. OH? THE WATER IS BOILING ALREADY? Get the ramen packets and open dem up. Pour the seasoning in that water and mix it until it is your broth. Then put in the dry ramen squares and mix it up! OH? I COMPLETLEY ABANDONED THE CUTTING BOARD? NO! Get back to your cutting board and curass the length of its smooth body. It was getting lonely. Chop up the stuff with a sharp knife.
[spoiler]If you're too high to safely handle a knife, use safety scissors.[/spoiler]
Get your desired amount and wait until step 3!
Step Three: When the ramen is cooked, get all the noodles out of the pot but leave yo soup. Make sure it is still boiling! Next, grab all dem green onions and slide them into the soup all nice and smooth like. Then take your LIQUID CHICKEN EMBRYO and crack it open into the boiling abyss that is your soup. As it is cooking, get da sesame oil and squirt it into ya pot. When the egg cooks, pour it along with the soup into ya bowl.
Step Four: Get sum dank Asian spices and sprinkle dat stuff on top. Den sprinkle da sesame seeds and the crushed garlic. It looks good doesn't it? Probably because you're high asf. This probably only should have taken 15 minutes, but it took an hour because you're high. Your munchies are starting to kick in.
[spoiler]DON'T DROOL ON YA SOUP[/spoiler]
Step Six: Snapchat pictures of ya dank ramen and brag about how good you are at cooking! [#foodpornography #ramen # yum #foodgoals]
Step Seven: RESIST!
[spoiler]THIS STEP APPLIES TO WEEABOOS ONLY. I KNOW YOU WANT TO -blam!- THE RAMEN[/spoiler]
Step Eight: Sit down and ponder life, as there was no Step Five.
Step Nine: Satisfy your munchies with the ramen. Pop your yolk of the NOW COOKED CHICKEN EMBRYO and make that soup creamy. Mix it up a bit. Stab it with a chopstick.
[spoiler]NOT YOUR PENIS[/spoiler]
Step Ten: THERE IS NO STEP TEN YOU ATE YOUR RAMEN
[b][i][u]NEXT TIME ON COOKING WITH CYLUS[/u][/i][/b]
Eh, idk. I can take requests. Or not.
[b][i][u]EDIT!!!![/u][/i][/b] NEXT I AM MAKING FRIED RICE, THEN MACARONI AND CHEESE, THEN PIZZA!!!!
[b][i][u]EDIT!!!![/u][/i][/b] I need you all to go to this link and vote on how often you want me to do this segment!