THE RINGS OF SATURN: CHAPTER 1, PART 1 (Revamped)
Hardcore Revamp and edits by Co-Author RoyalBlade.
Hello folks, this was my very first FanFiction series as fans of my work may know. When I started writing, my use of puncuation and vocabulary was well...terrible. So I decided to have a friend of mine (RoyalBlade) revamp it for me.
He's done a marvelous job with it and I just wanted to throw some praise his way. Hope you guys enjoy the revamp and, Stay sharp Guardians.
A single Titan sat in his, ship orbiting the planet of Earth. He was awaiting a new mission from his Vanguard. Just as he was about to head to the tower he received the mission he'd been waiting for.
"Ghost set course for Venus." The Titan said, "Zavala wants me to do a patrol at the Ember caves. Apparently there's heavy fallen activity."
'You got it Cozmo.' His Ghost replied. 'Entering hyperspace now.'
"Good, orbit Venus while I suit up, then take us in slow near the usual place." Cozmo easily commanded his Ghost to do this for him, considering they were basically partners.
'Ok.' His Ghost said, blinking it's eye.
Cozmo walked to the back of his ship. He suited up, finding his favorite helmet the "Helm of Saint 14." He had found it himself just outside the walls on Earth.
As he slipped it on, his one way VISR roared to life making odd mechanical noises in the process. He slipped on his new FWC boots and chest plate He strapped on his iron banner grips that he won in the last tournament. He grabbed his favorite weapon an Auto Rifle by the name of "Suros Regime" and clicked it onto his back.
"Alright I think I'm ready. Ghost, you know where to drop us off."
'Alright locking on to the coordinates....... Got them! We will touch down in fifteen seconds, I suggest you si-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah I know the drill."
Cozmo sat down and strapped himself in. "Umm ok I'm-" Cozmo was purposely cut off by his Ghost who had the ships engines roaring to life.
The ship made its way toward the outpost. A few seconds later he could see the outpost, they were about a mile away.
'Alright we're dropping in 3..2..1..'
The sun burned Cozmo's eyes, as he appeared in a flash of blue light. Putting his hand above his eyes, his eyes adjusted to the sunlight. A few seconds later he took out his ghost and summoned his sparrow.
'I'm detecting heavy fallen activity, Zavala was right it's coming from the Ember caves!' His Ghost said, in the most concerned way possible.
"Well let's see what they're up to", Cozmo replied.
He pulled the throttle back on his sparrow and headed for the caves at full-speed. He was abruptly stopped halfway by a makeshift Fallen patrol.
He could make out, half a dozen vandals, a single dreg and three shanks. He got off his sparrow and immediately took his weapon off his back.
Firing three rounds, he took out a Vandal. He followed up with a Shock grenade which disposed of the shanks and the dreg.
He ran at the remaining vandals full speed. Cozmo then broke his sprint with an aggressive Shoulder charge. The scrawny alien was sent flying into one of his comrades. As Cozmo turned around he saw a knife stabbing towards him.
He ducked and grabbed the vandals arm. Using his Titan strength, he easily broke the vandals arm and made it screech in agony. He threw the broken vandal over his broad shoulder and turned around. Cozmo laughed at the pathetic Vandal as he pounded its face inwards. The Vandal took his final breath as his face exploded into ether.
Cozmo got up breathing heavily as his shoulder muscles grew dense. "WHO'S NEXT!" He roared.
The two remaining vandals exchanged glances with each other and ran off in fear. Only to be gunned down anyway.
"Well, now that that's done, let's get to the ember caves." Cozmo commented in an almost prideful tone
Cozmo resummoned his sparrow and hopped on it. He pulled the throttle once more and was quickly approaching his destination. He could see the entry leading to the caves. As he drew closer, he heard the sounds of gunfire.
"I hear gunfire and lots of it." He reported to his Ghost.
'Yes I know, I hear it too. There's bigger problems to worry about though. I'm detecting several guardians down."
As Cozmo entered, he couldn't believe what he saw. Nearly two dozen Guardians were fighting several Devil Walkers and nearly a hundred fallen troops.
As he looked around he saw people screaming, missing limbs, corpses of guardians and his own brothers and sisters being sniped down.
There were Fallen screeching as there heads were popped spilling ether everywhere. He was observing the battlefield in a state of awe.
Once he snapped out of his trance, he saw a walker looking directly at him.
"OH NO!!" He screamed as the walker fired at him. The shot hit the ground a couple feet away from him and Cozmo was sent flying. When he hit the ground, Cozmo's eyesight gave into utter darkness. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What did you guys think of the revamp? Please leave a comment below or drop a like if you enjoyed. I'll leave a link to the Table Of Cotents which still holds the originals if any of you are interested.