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ursprünglich gepostet in: What do you sexually identify as?
6/1/2015 5:48:27 AM
3
I sexually identify as a donger. Since I was a boy I dreamed of raising my donger and dropping hot dongers over disgusting scrubs. People tell me that a person being a donger is impossible and that I'm -blam!-ing retarded. But I don't care. I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon attach raised dongers and emojis on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Raised" and respect my right to raise my donger and raise it needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a dongerphobe and you need to check your emoji privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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  • Being a donger is impossible and you are -blam!-ing retarded

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  • What the fu­ck did you just fuc­king say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in guerrilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f­uck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my -blam!-ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fuc­ker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fuc­king dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fuc­king tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fuc­king dead, kiddo.

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  • I chuckled

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