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OffTopic

Surf a Flood of random discussion.
originally posted in:Babygurls penthouse
Edited by DamUstr8BabyGurl: 8/30/2015 11:53:12 PM
275

Post anything in this thread

The topic of this thread is to not have a topic. Post political stuff, religious stuff, spam, dank memes, lennys, heresy(RIP Nubbin), 9/11 memes, unpopular opinions, science shit or whatever else you want. Dam u str 8 baby gurl.

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  • Every time I get banned, I read through this again: [spoiler]Dazarobbo's bad day Dazarobbo was having a horrible day. He just got laid off from his job and his girlfriend just kicked him out of her house when she heard the news. His relationship with her had been deteriorating ever since he became a moderaor on bungie.net. Instead of hammering her, he spent his time hammering noobs on the forums. He had nowhere to go and he had no internet. His family was about 777 miles away and he only had enough money and gas to get to 666 miles. Daza knew he had to find a place to stay. So he called his best friend, Bobcast. Daza explained the situation, about how he got fired from his job and kicked out by his girlfriend and that he just needed a place to stay. Bob listened patiently to Dazarobbo. When Daza was done talking he asked, "Do you think I could stay at your place for a couple of days? Until I find a job at least?" "Sure man, Recon Number 54, Foman, TU and I are going to be having a drinking party tonight. You could join us for a couple of days." Dazarobbo thanked him a lot for being such an awesome friend. So Dazarobbo hitched a ride on a bus (his ex girlfriend owned the semi-truck since she was a trucker). 30 minutes later, he was at Bobcasts apartment and he knocked on the door. Bob opened the door up and welcomed dazarobbo in. "The other guys are inside playing halo reach, there are chips and salsa in the kitchen and beer in the fridge, help yourself dude. You will be staying in room upstairs on the left." he said. "Thanks man, I'm sorry to drop in on you like this." said Dazarobbo. "No problem man, I am a doctor. It is my duty to take care of people, especially my friends." Dazarobbo went upstairs to put his things in his room. Then he came back down and said hi to the others. "sup?" said True Underdog, "Hey -blam!- whats happnin?" said foman " Hey son? how are you doing?" said recon number, who took up a whole couch. "Just hanging out for a couple of days. So he sat down to play some games with the other ninjas. When nightfall came, the drinking games started. Foman and Bobcast played against Dazarobbo and True underdog in a game of beer pong while Recon number ate 2 bags of chips and drank one of the kegs of beer. So the games went on and the ninjas got pretty drunk. Dazarobbo, who was staggering drunk, burst out crying all of a sudden. "yo whats wrong bro? *hiccup*" said foman. "Ever since I became a forum ninja, my life went downhill!I had so much fun banning people that I didn't pay attention to my girlfriend or my job! So I lost m-my job and I l-lost my girlfriend a-and she k-kicked me out! " Dazarobbo bellowed. The other ninjas looked at him with sympathetic glances. Bobcast put a hand on his shoulder and said, "You are not the only one. I wanted to become a surgeon. But ever since I became a ninja, my life went downhill. I wasn't able to finish my classes in collegeman, now I am only a nurse. Plus I got kicked out of my girlfriend's house too!" "R-Really?" said Dazarobbo. "So was I man" said foman, who now had tears in his eyes. "I was goin to be a -blam!- lawyer yo! but then I became a ninja! and DAMN! I had so much fun kickin them stupid white folks from bungie.net and haven them swear me out that i forgot to do my classes an shit. my bitch kicked me out of her house and i was on the street! An my homie, Bobcast took me in!" Dazarobbo was astounded. He looked at True underdog, who immediatly broke down and cried. "me too man! I have a beautiful son! But I never paid attention to him because I was a ninja on bungie.net! My girlfriend kicked me out and bobcast took me in!". Recon number 54 burped. "I never knew we were all so alike... I love you guys so much!" exclaimed Dazarobbo "we need eachother don't we?" They all nodded, even recon number nodded, sending undulations through his blubber. So they all gathered around and hugged eachother. Then, what one can only hope was the guidance of the alcohol, they began to fondle eachothers asses. The ninjas began to undress until they were butt naked. Their throbbing banhammers hanging . Dazarobbo and bobcast caught eachother's eyes and began to embrace eachother. While Dazarobbo and Bobcast were making out, True underdog knelt in front of foman. Then foman shoved his big black veiny banhammer into his ass, making True Underdog squeal. Meanwhile, Recon number 54, who couldn't get out of the couch because of his weight, began to jerk his banhammer. Bobcast looked at Dazarobbo's raging banhammer and knelt down. He put it in his mouth and sucked on it. Meanwhile foman and true underdog cried out and they both sprayed banhammer juice at the same time. Recon number was still jerking. Bobcast's sucking was making dazarobbo moan in ecstacy. All of a sudden he cried out and sprayed into Bob's mouth. They were spent. But then bobcast looked at recon meaningfully. Recon, getting the message, pulled out his glass eye. Then bobcast came over and stuck his banhammer ino recon's eye socket. This got recon to moan and jerk off even more furiously. Bobcast screamed as he came into that eyesocket, dripping banhammer juioce down recon's cheek. Recon came all over bobcast's legs. The night went on and the ninjas are now closest friends. But then one night, foman was was monitoring the forums and saw this story. "WHO THE -blam!- RECORDED THIS SHIT AND MADE AN ALTERNATE ACCOUNT ON BNET?!?!?"[/spoiler]

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    • the best thread...

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    • Spongebingecringepants

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    • #myfirstnecro

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    • Dam u str8 babygurl

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    • Edited by wolfsmith9: 12/3/2015 5:00:49 AM
      NOODLS

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    • Anything

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    • [quote]It happened during Vietnam. I was with Deej in the front lines. We were both hiding. He pulled out his food. I signaled using sign language "what the fück man?" he stared at me. He ate the food. A soldier came behind him. I didn't know his name but his name tag said Jake. He was covered in red. I took no chances. I fired at him. Now years later Deej shows up at my door step. He says "What the -blam!- man?! We were just shopping at target" (Vietnam Flashbacks) Edit 2 cause I want to continue. Before the man showed up everything was great. I lost a leg trying to stop some crazed Japanese I had to crawl back to safety. When I met Sgt. Deej I was relieved. I heard stories about him. He saved men. A friend of mine was shot. I have cancer. Anyways Deej was good man. We had to leave the Japanese forces were getting too strong. All of the sudden a weird car was on the other side of the field. It ways gray and its doors flew up. A fat man stepped out. Years later I would know that it was the legendary, Kim Jong Un. He was carrying a gun that seemed to fire mini nukes. It was called the fat man. Named after the user. Me and Deej decided that we could sneak up to the fat man. We both found some dead enemies and took their clothes. We then, squinted our eyes and approached Kim. He said "Get to da choppa ma yello ni***s" We entered a chopper that was approaching him. The pilot gave us rifles that were stronger than our current ones. However, Deej blinked and forgot to squint his eyes. At that moment I knew our cover was blown harder than an experienced prostitutes client. I grabbed my rifle and hit the driver of the chopper with it. The bayonet destroyed his face. Suddenly I realized it was a she. It was "Anita Sarkeesian the warrior" she grabbed my wrist and pushed me to the ground and yelled "You dirty -blam!-ing man!!! I don't know anything about gaming but -blam!- it. You dirty man!!!" My exo suits strength was no match for her. I then kicked her in the crotch and twisted her jugs. I pushed her off the chopper and she was no more. Deej took control of the chopper and said "Shia Surprise. Just do it" He took off a mask and it revealed it wasn't Deej it was Shia Labouef. He brought the chopper to the ground right before it crashed he whispered "Aloha Snackbar" I crawled out of the chopper now missing two legs. Suddenly I knew I wasn't alone five soldiers approached me. Four had the last name of "Chang" and one was the real Deej. I said "Deej and the Chans" "No soldier it's the Changs" "Well the names moot" (Part one happens) The war is over. Years later I need some money. I remember the Changs. I say for Chang 4chan (Forgive poor grammar and etc. I typed this pretty fast) 4chan[/quote]

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    • [i] [/i]

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    • Is that really you babygurl? What comes to mind when I say "ginger day?"

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    • Edited by MicroChango: 11/19/2015 4:28:37 AM
      #PrayForPayPal

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    • [b] [/b]

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      1 Reply
      • i found YOU[spoiler]send nudes preferrably videos[/spoiler]

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      • This is my entire generation is just eight different people

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        48 Replies
        • [b] [/b]

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        • To make a blank post hit [b][/b] and add a space in between.

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          25 Replies
          • ...

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            • Edited by Wurmple: 11/7/2015 8:24:36 AM
              noice song also matches the answer for this thread

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            • [b][/b]

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              7 Replies
              • [b] [/b]

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              • >I loved offtopic so much >I had all the shitposts and memes >I pray to offtopic every night before bed >thanking it for the autism I've been given >offtopic is love I say; offtopic is life >my dad hears me and calls me a fgt >I knew he was jealous of my devotion for offtopic >I call him a desticle >he slaps me and send me and tells deej >I'm crying now. And my face hurts >I lay in bed it's really cold >suddenly something touches me. >it's deej, I'm not happy. >he whispers in my ear "that's a 3 month ban" >he raises his banhammer >I'm ready, I call him a pegboi as he bans me >it's hurts so much but I do it for offtopic >I can feel my account tearing as my eyes begin to water >deej roars a weak roar as he closes my account >my dad walks in >deej looks him straight in the eyes and says >"working as intended" >dad gets on his hands and knees >deej pushes his mighty peg into his anus >deej laughs and says >"good work guardian" >deej leaves though my window >offtopic is love... >offtopic is life.

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                15 Replies
                • My cats secretly gay and likes boys. My brother can only get one bitch and that's the dog.

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                  2 Replies
                  • [b][/b]

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                    • Edited by xi_GoinHam: 11/7/2015 5:17:47 AM
                      Music!

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                    • Bobcast did 9/11

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                    • Edited by alexhedge1: 10/28/2015 12:11:37 AM
                      I can't believe bungie f/b]cked it up when it was good the way it was

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