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#Halo

8/6/2009 6:43:43 PM
139

I Think I Found Out The Biggest Secret Of Halo 3.

OK. You know how Bungie said we still havent found the biggest secret of halo 3? It's not a gun. It's not a vehicle, or a cutscene. Here is my theory. OK, look at every Forerunner map ever. THERE ARE NO BATHROOMS. Which means, either the Forerunners had no genitals or digestive system, OR... Their feces were... well... ALIVE. And that's where the theory kicks off. Yes, the forerunners created the flood. The flood came out of their ass though. The Forerunners were ironically killed, and "infected" by their own poo-poo. Graveminds were made after particularly large Forerunners had fried chicken and prune juice for dinner. Q & A, and Statements & Answers Q: Where do Spartans potty? A: As MOOSA said, Spartans have a calastomy bag inside them.They also have trail mix, a pair boots, extra pairs of socks, and a backpack with their water bottles and some more trail mix in it. Also Master Chief has Viagra. You never know when Cortana is ready. Hey, hes a supersoldier, but seriously! Hes been alive for like 45 years! Q: The forerunners didn't create the flood, and aren't potties a human invention? A:I know they arent human but all species potty. And I think the one of the smartest species ever would have pottys unless their poo poo was living. I rest my case. It has been proven. there is so much evidence. We have spent several years in a video game battling crap monsters. Statement: All these Multiplayer and Campaign Maps weren't based on an alien species' restrooms. That would just make no sense. Answer: You think there are people who "coordinate" or "make" the Halo Universe?? I daresay "develop" it so it makes sense? Is that what you think?? OF COURSE THERES NO SUCH THING!! You, sir, are a fool. Statement: Forerunner robots poo? That must be halo's biggest secret. Answer: You don't understand. This is how the mysterious apacaolyptic parasites were made. Not wanting to make anymore of the monster their food had already created, the Forerunners starved themselves to death. Statement: would you like your recon now? Answer: Yes please, I have uncovered Halo's biggest secret after all. I will be famous. Imagine my job interview in 20 years... Employer: So you are how old??? Me: I'm... Employer: WAIT arent you that guy that discovered the forerunners made the flood by pooping them out?? Me: Yea Employer: HOLY -blam!-! Donny get over here! Me: I gotta go take a piss (leave) Donny: What what happened?? Employer: DUDE this is the guy that found out the flood are really just Forerunner potty! Donny: NO -blam!- WAY DUDE Employer: YEA REALLY! Call President Norris! Donny: Ok...(dials) YO CHUCK! THE GUY WHO FOUND OUT HALO WAS ABOUT BATTLING ALIEN FECES IS HERE! Chuck Norris: No way? Your joking right?!?! TELL HIM HE CAN BE PRESIDENT OF THE U.S.A FROM NOW ON. I heard when he does push ups he doesn't push himself up, he pulls the ground down! Me: (I walk back in) did I get the job?? Employer: Yep! (hands me the keys to the white house) Me: WTF?!!? [Edited on 08.07.2009 9:15 PM PDT]
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