I'm going to be That Person, and offer some how-to in order to prevent things going in what for me has sometimes been a predictably bad way: - don't 'special' me, please. I'm not 'differently abled' either. It's ok to say disabled. It's not a dirty word.
I don't enjoy outing myself, either - I've been invited to things without my consent because people assumed because I struggle to play the game sometimes, they would 'do me a favour'. No, it isn't a favour to drag me to a raid, it's exhausting and I'll pay for it for days afterwards. I've had groups ask some really uncool questions about How Disabled I Am, which honestly isn't anyone's business. I am just trying to play a game, I'm not someone's special 'feel-good' project.
And, this is horrible, but it's true - there are people who specifically seek out disabled/ill/neurodiverse people via video games. It's creepy, but it's happened to me and friends more than once. Sometimes, it's wise to be cautious.
I play with a very close group of folks because I don't want to have to explain to total strangers why I can't do certain things ingame. They earned that trust by just being good people generally, which helps a tonne. Don't assume everyone's been playing for years - I've never played a shooter since four months ago. I started as physiotherapy, and sometimes it's not been fun at all.
But, often, being the only person standing, rezzing everyone else because they forget poor ol' crippled Grandma has been gaming since longer than most have been on the planet is pretty damn entertaining. Underestimate me because of being 'special' and I'll dance be your ghost for a few seconds.
All I'm saying is - we aren't a mythical group of people. And there's more of us Spoonies/disabled/neurodiverse people than you think. Just be kind, and that will spread - I've avoided strikes and regular content because of the lack of patience people have with people who don't have them all memorised due to years of playing. And I certainly won't ever step foot in PvP, Gambit or anything else after reading these forums for a few weeks.
But I remember the people who wait as I struggle for the umpteenth time with a series of jumps, and who don't zerg ahead and wait for me to catch up when I get lost. I remember who fistbumps with an emote when I give my /thank . Quite a few people do that, so my friend list is growing, though I may never have the energy to join them on their missions, or talk on the mic.
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I absolutely agree with you. I knew that others like us existed but I tend play alone. I don't like outing myself and for that I don't expect special treatment. I have to "roll with it", pick up my feelings and "toughen" up. After surviving two heart attacks and all the other medical issues that I have, there is physical therapy and then there's this "gaming therapy". This game has been able to allow my motor skills to get better. My reaction/response times are quicker. Just like you, I avoid Crucible and Raids but ever since the Guardian Games, I found out the more medals came from Nightfalls/Strikes. My daughter helped get better and now Nightfalls (1530 hero mode) I can't get enough of. I have been so proud of myself for resetting my rank with Zavala once last season and this season. Just yesterday I got Chain of Command and I am so happy. In Nightfalls/strikes I don't worry about who's with me anymore. I am usually the last one and that's okay because more than enough times they eventually need to be revived as well. I'll revive them. It took time and it will take more time to build self confidence with Crucible. I just wish that Shax would have an adept level so that all the "flawless" Guardians wouldn't be so quick to judge me, but they will do that anyways. Yes, I have hidden all of my stats because of those Guardians. I apologize if this is lengthy. My train of thought is going. Have a great day.
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Well written. I can relate since grandma age, failing jumps more than everyone (so embarrassing!), being the last to get anywhere (“joining allies” all the time), and too slow at PVP so I gave it up. But since you say you’re noob at Destiny just want to say maybe don’t give up on strikes? Easy & fun content with pinnacle rewards for 3 regular ones and another pinnacle for nightfalls (adept’s easy enough). Sure lots speed run them ((“joining …”) but I figure it’s like having a neighbor kid to help mow the lawn (actual metaphor - where are these kids?) I kinda like (tolerate) gambit too (another quick pinnacle). For me the data analytical part of Destiny is actually a big part of the game (leveling paths, which of the gazillion copies of something is better than the other, etc) Stay strong 💪!
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Edited by SpoonieEzMode: 6/12/2022 11:34:11 AMWhen I first started playing, five minutes was almost too long. I'm nowhere near ready for pinnacles yet, but I'm finding playing things repetitively is helping. Mostly I just need to run the strikes with a group of people who let me take my time until it becomes second nature to do, but that takes time and energy (I've had people offer, but some days it just wasn't possible). I'll get there eventually, but the game is still work for me. When I feel like I have some space and time to recover, I'll push a little more to figure strikes out. We're all blueberries to other people, so I try not to act like folk are another species just because they've got a different clan tag.
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Can understand you feel too slow to jump into random matchmade games but there’s also the social aspect of gaming, which is kinda fun for me. Never know who’s on the other end of the controller or mouse. I’ve done maybe thousands of matchmade strikes & maybe once was someone rude. I always have lowest #kills though? kinda embarrassing but I blame the scoring! (like in gambit I often have top boss damage?)
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Edited by Overmindead: 6/12/2022 8:07:47 AMHello dude, I really apologize if the way I wrote the post may have bothered you in any way. My way of referring to disabled players as "special guardians" was just a way I wanted to show how special these people really are. Special, and not different. And they are special in how they deal with every difficulty in life, which is made even more hard by their disability. Unfortunately what you wrote is true, and it happens much more often than I would like, but I can guarantee you that my wanting to help some disabled player, is not intended as a favor or a burden, but is simply wanting to play with people who they deserve to have a moment of serenity and lightheartedness. I assure you that my intentions are only to unite as many people as possible, disabled or not, to have fun and enjoy together this awesome game that we all love. And if you like to send me a friend request and play a few games together, also with your usual fireteam, I'd be really happy. GG Guardian 👊💪💚
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Exactly