Broken Homes, Broken Kids.

Broken Homes, Broken Kids. With roughly 45% of Marriages ending in Divorce in the UK and USA This seems like a good place to get started on WTWISFU. It's glaringly obvious to anyone who looks, that a Broken Home generally screws up children. There are of course some people who come through it right as rain, but they are the lucky ones. I would appreciate if people didn't nitpick when I generalise about Broken Homes because it makes for tedious typing and reading to have to state 'Not in every single case' Every 5 minutes. The statistics were drawn from the ONS for the UK and Wikipedia for the USA. (Get over it Wikipedia isn't that bad .-.) However there have been numerous news articles stating this for the USA which tend to be covered with Bias and stirring to further a certain agenda. Anyone with a shred of common sense will be able to see that Divorce and Broken Homes have a severe negative impact on Children from the cradle to early adulthood. I will briefly outline some of these below. -Physical Changes [spoiler]Particularly in younger children (Toddlers/Babies) The effects of Parents fighting causes Physical changes, Babies will have trouble sleeping and eating properly, they may be sick more often (Spitting up) and have bowel issues. Toddlers who have been potty trained can end up reverting to more infantile behaviours...[/spoiler]-Frustration and Guilt. [spoiler]This typically affects primary school to high school aged children. They can become frustrated and angry that it is happening, this has knock on effects for the rest of their behaviour, Usually at school where they 'act up' in class. Guilt is the classic one, blaming themselves for the parents fighting/splitting up. This can vary in seriousness from the child feeling bad about what's happening to more extreme cases where they become suicidal. [/spoiler]-Withdrawal[spoiler]Some children turn inwards with their frustration, anger and guilt. They become quiet, sullen and withdrawn from other people and try to avoid any conflict/attention. This can lead to social problems which further worsen the withdrawal.[/spoiler]-Educational[spoiler]It goes without saying that a Child from a broken home has the odds stacked against them when it comes to education. Some children are able to do well despite it but very often they lose interest in school or are unable to do the work because of the home problems. This is where they can end up screwed for life because of the parent's selfishness. In a tough job climate, you need everything you can have to get a job and poor school results are a major spanner in the works.[/spoiler]-Family Dynamics[spoiler]An interesting one, is how the family dynamic changes greatly following a split. It is hard to generalise this because the dynamic for each broken home is very different to another one. From personal experience, being the eldest I had to look after my 3 younger brothers whilst general order broke down in the house and it effectively became fend for yourself. My brothers still hoard food and fight like dogs over the dinner table because of the times when there was very little to eat.[/spoiler] So with all of these problems, and this is far from an exhaustive list, is it any wonder that many Kids/Teens/Young Adults are so screwed up? The lack of a good father figure is an issue very frequently raised in the USA, but it's more than just deadbeat dads. The whole system is tilted against fathers. From the courts to the social perceptions. The lack of a father figure, It goes without saying that this screws up male children. They have no decent responsible role model to idealise and so turn to things like Rappers/Gangsters. How often do you hear a Single Dad praised for being one? I bet even the phrase seems alien to most people. Single-Moms/Mums/Mothers are common place and it is easy to say 'Oh it's because the fathers run off and leave them' but considering the hellfire they have to go through to get custody in the UK (And presumably the USA) Is it any wonder? Do you ever see the mother forced to pay Alimony? Child Maintenance? Rarely. So rarely that it makes the news when it happens. Now yes, some fathers are terrible as are some mothers. Rather than turning this into a Men Vs Women argument people should be trying to fix the bias in the system. Broken Homes, Broken People. So if someone has a terrible childhood, fraught with parents fighting and messy incidents is it a leap of logic to suspect that they might then go on to develop mental illnesses? Not really. Depression is very common in children/adults from a broken home, some of it might have been a biological predisposition triggered by the stress/emotional torment of a broken home or it could arise from the situation itself. Teens/Adults from broken homes, not surprisingly, tend to exhibit strong cynicism towards romantic relationships. People harbouring mistrust and suspicion towards their partners isn't uncommon. This can then lead to the wonderful vicious circle of another broken home and broken children. How do we fix it? The simple and defeatist answer is, We can't. You can change yourself, but trying to change other people is like ordering the tide to stop coming in. Not all divorces are bad, From personal experience I'm glad my mother is finally gone. However, if there is something salvageable in a future relationship of yours, flood, for the sake of your future children, try to fix things rather than just give up after a year of troubled times. Ask your grandparents how they managed to stay together for so long (Assuming they did and you can) Anyway, I hope this has been fairly informative. It's a midnight post for me so there might be a few issues with it, if you point them out with a civil tongue that would be much appreciated. Please discuss Divorce, Broken Homes and Related issues. Feel free to share your own experiences, the more perspectives that you are able to see and experience will give you a better understanding of the world. -Mr Psychologist. Tl;Dr As requested by Zoidoge A broken family will -blam!- up the children, you can find some of the details above. Courts are biased against fathers and Mental Illness in children and parents can arise from a divorce. The obvious has now been stated <.<