Get a huge hunk of toilet paper, and neatly roll it up. Then, using a flat side of the rolled paper, align it so the centre is where the dangle berries are, with the paper in line with your buttcrack/gooch. Then pinch around the poo (being careful so only the paper touches it), squeeze as hard as possible, and yank it out. It will hurt, and almost all of your buttcrack hair will be ripped out. But it's worth it.